Thursday, February 25, 2010
To celebrate let's all put on our Docs and heavy eyeliner and mope around while we mumble about how disaffected and angsty we are.
Man, I love the Cure.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
1.) When I got out of the temple tonight I found a note on my windshield that said, "Hope your trip to the temple made your view a little clearer. Love the Yucaipa 2nd Ward Young Women." They had cleaned my windows, which is wonderful because a bird had it's way with one them earlier today and I won't have a chance to wash my car for at least a week because...
2.) I am going to Las Vegas this weekend with some of my All-Time Favorite People on the Planet No Contest Amen. We will be going to the Liberace Museum. I am giddy with excitement. Also because...
3.) Vegas is not my final destination. I'm going on to Utah to see the sibs that are up there. It was suppose to just be Vegas but then I thought isn't spontaneous travel in the job description of a Woman of Elegant Leisure? Yes it is. It's right next to "Must own a minimum of 20 brooches" (check, by the way.) So I'll be hanging out with the fam and any other person who may live in the state who feels like possibly taking a mini road trip to see her old college roommate who will be staying very close to her parent's house so it would be a two-fer and when said roommate won't be staying in that area will be up in West Jordan which is closer, Rac. To entice you I promise to have robins eggs so we can paint our lips. And possibly grape kool-aid. And maybe a box of crayons.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
But no, I'm not going to tell you about it because clearly I'm a bit sensitive about it. Instead I'm going to tell you that we had an Olympic themed Primary activity on Saturday and it was hilarious fun. We had the kids doing speed skating on paper plates and bobsledding on sleeping bags. They curled and played hockey and made flags and had a parade of nations and got gold medals at the end. Oh it was fun. I love those kids. They make me laugh. And they don't care that I can't play True to the Faith.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Quick sidetrack: Another beauty of unemployment being that I have countless hours to watch the Olympics, which includes curling. Valerie alluded to this in a recent post but I would like to briefly expound upon the strange phenomenon of cute curlers. Who knew? I mean, really, who knew that the cute guys hang out at curling lanes? I suppose there could be cute guys anywhere but I guess I've always equated curling to bowling and have you ever seen a cute bowler? No, you haven't. So it's a bit of a surprise. A rather pleasant one.
Okay, I'm back on track, which was this: I'm a little frightened of Pirates of the Caribbean. I never use to be but yesterday we went on and for the first time I looked into the eyes of the animatronic pirates and got the willies. It looks like they're peering deep into your soul and only have foul play on their minds.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
1.) Curling is mesmerizing. And not just because of the cute guy on the German team.
2.) The Biathlon is clearly the greatest sport on the planet. Although I think that it would be better if they were shooting at targets like at those shooting galleries at Knott's Berry Farm. Maybe a nice saloon scene.
3.) I'm going to admit it here: I'm not that interested in figure skating. I don't think sports should include artistic points.
4.) But I am not ashamed to also admit: I welled up a bit when the Chinese pairs skaters won because I'm sucker for those type of stories.
5.) Timed races are a bit of a let down. Like in cross country skiing when the starts are staggered so they're just racing the clock instead of each other. I prefer the cross country skiing where they're neck and neck and their drool and snot have frozen around their mouths and it's a race to the finish. Now that's a real sport.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Hello Chester A. Arthur.
I'm seriously considering printing this out and hanging it in my bathroom.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Except that it was an exhausting day today. I've been fighting off this mutant cough for 4 days now and this was the first morning I woke up feeling like I could face the world. So I made a list of things to do and got at them. Only I didn't factor in the Valentine's Day crowd. I went to Target and there were hundreds of people in line with flowers and candies and teddy bears and then I went to Albertson's and it was the same story and two hours later I got home and all I wanted was a muumuu and a nap.
Instead I made dessert won tons for our Olympics party we're throwing tonight. Here's a taste of what the festivities will be like:
Definitely worth missing a nap.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
If I had a bottle of laudanum and a slight mental disorder these would be the perfect conditions to write a really good novel.
Monday, February 8, 2010
1.) I had Katie do the drawing for the Mr. T bookmark (drawn out of my Dodger ice cream batting helmet cup) and the winner is the beautiful and talented COLLEEN!!!!! Fun Fact: Colleen had a Nightmare Before Christmas topper on her wedding cake. And that is just one of the many things to love about her.
Friday, February 5, 2010
So, needless to say, yesterday was a bit of a weeper. It wasn't a total bust because we got some great news at the end, but it was a day full of intermittent tears.
Poor Katie, right?
So, I think we need to have a giveaway. Because what is cheerier than a give away?
How about a Mr. T bookmark. Mostly because I really like making them. In honor of Katie's birthday you can enter by leaving a comment telling us what your favorite thing about Katie is, and if you don't know Katie, you can make something up. You have until Monday at noon.
This is entirely unrelated but does anyone in my area have the Percy Jackson books and if so, may I borrow them? Too many people have recommended them to me to ignore. I'm back on the Book Buying Moratorium so that's not an option and neither the Upland Library nor the entire LA County Library system have them. I have also checked out book swapping sites and can't find them anywhere. It's smells of conspiracy. As an incentive, when I borrow a book I like to send it back with a bookmark.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
2.) You know those family stickers that people put on the back of their cars? With the mom and the dad and the kids? Well, this morning I saw one that had a woman, three bunnies, a parrot and a gold fish. At first I wanted to cry. But then I realized that just the fact of her putting those stickers on and announcing to the world that she loved her pets meant that she was pretty thrilled with her life. So good for her. But, for the record, if you see me driving around with those type of stickers on my car it's a cry for help and I need an intervention.
3.) I have set some goals, one of them being that I have to learn how to do two new things every month. It can be learning a new habit, like flossing every day, or learning a new skill, like how to tat. This week I am learning how to whistle really loud. The kind of whistling where you have to stick your fingers in your mouth and the whistle is so loud that people have to cover their ears. I can finally get sound out but now I'm working on volume. My goal is to be proficient by my first Dodger game of the year.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
1.) We danced A LOT. After waiting in the holding area across the street in the parking garage for 2 hours they finally moved us into the studio and started us dancing. For like 30 minutes. Which, I have to say, is loads of fun. But also sweaty because you're dancing under hot studio lights. So all the preparation for possible camera sightings went out the window.
2.) LL Cool J blinded me with his super muscly arms. Knights of Columbus. If the camera adds 10 pounds his arms will look like tree trunks on TV. And I'm not talking about oaks or elms. No. Sequoias.
3.) Serena Williams came out and proved that the camera does indeed add 10 pounds because she is much smaller than she looks on TV. This could also be because she's normal sized and every one she competes against is a Russian stick figure.
4.) Ellen tried to convince us to go off of sugar. Fat chance.
Here's what didn't happen:
1.) We didn't go home with anything. I haven't watched a lot of her show but in the ones that I have seen she gives things away. And not just boxes of Rice-a-Roni, but good things like Wiis and iPods. While we were waiting down in the parking garage they showed us previous episodes wherein she gave tons of stuff away. So let's just say our expectations were high that we would get something. Anything. And yet, we left with nothing. And let me tell you, the people were bitter. We all walked out with sad, disappointed looks on our faces and I think that had we not spent the last hour and a half dancing like maniacs we would have had the strength to storm the offices and revolt.
*Lydia is Swiss and Allie, Camille and I are of Swiss decent which means that chocolate and cuckoo clocks magically appeared on the dashboard on our drive out to Burbank.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Dear Clinton Kelly,
It is no surprise that 1.) given my love for beauty pageants and 2.) given my love for you, I would watch the Miss America: Behind the Curtain special you hosted the other night. It lived up to my expectations in more ways then just giving away secrets tips of pageant contestants, like spraying hair spray on your face to keep your make-up from running. You never know when this information will come in handy.
But aside from that I found a couple of other things fascinating:
1.) During the segment when you went through the interview process with the judges you were asked to tell your guilty pleasure. You said, “I like to make a whole box of Craft Macaroni and Cheese and watch a marathon of America’s Next Top Model.”
2.) During the talent portion you mentioned to your co-host that if a girl is going to shimmy she needs to shimmy all the way, and then you demonstrated.
Um, are you trying to tell me something? Could it possibly be that we should be best friends? Because I agree! I already love you on What Not to Wear. I think you give great advice in a sassy but kind way. You have that Tim Gunn quality that makes me think that I would never make another poor choice ever again if we were friends.
So let’s give it a shot. Thanks to my current state of Elegant Leisure I have discovered that reruns of ANTM are on nearly round the clock. You can come over to my place and I’ll make us some mac and cheese and we can laugh at the crazy antics of Tyra for hours and hours. We can practice our shimmying during the commercial breaks.
Hugs and Kisses from Your New BFF,
PS. As your new BFF I think it’s only right for me to tell you that you might want to rethink the beard. I know that it’s the new hip accessory for men, and few women love a good beard more than I, but the pattern of grey in yours makes it look like you grew it to fit in with some Appalachian cousins or something.