Gross, but we're going to be fine

We were talking about germs yesterday over breakfast.  Our waters came out and Denise asked for a straw because, "I don't drink out of glasses." I get this.  I've seen plenty of glass cups with lip marks on them that were not mine. But I also think that hands are dirtier than lips. Teresa told us about her family who cleans their own silverware that they pulled out of their own drawers before using. Now that, I don't get

I'm not a germaphobe by any means.  I like things clean but I'm of the mind that we live in the world and the world is messy and washing our hands often is a good remedy for most things. We're surrounded by grossness all the time and look at us, thriving like a bunch of healthy things that thrive.

This reminded me of a conversation I had with Cynde's dad Al.  I asked him how he was doing and he said he was alright but his allergies were really bothering him.  He had been tested and learned that he was allergic to a number of things like eucalyptus trees and cockroach feces.  I had to stop him because how can you mention cockroach feces without your face melting off?  But he said that the Arizona desert is filled with billions of cockroaches and their poop dries up and crumbles in the wind and is carried to the city.

"So you mean we're breathing cockroach poop right now?"
"Yep."

This is what we have to live with!  And most of us are totally unaware and also, totally fine.  Except Al, who has to take pills for it.

Have you been to the beach? Do you know what the beach is made up of?  Bird and fish poop.  If you touch the water or the sand you're touching bird and fish poop.  That's just the facts.  And we're all having a great time there! I think we have a bigger chance of being stung by a jelly fish than we do of contracting some weird disease from swimming in poop infested water.

I'm not trying to freak you about with all this poop talk.  I'm just trying to show you that we're going to be fine.  And we can still have our weird germ hang-ups.  I won't ever bring something into the bathroom that does not belong there.  Like food or my phone.  And if I touch some one's hair I have to wash my hands immediately. And I'll swim in the ocean and walk on the sand but you will not catch me walking on a pier barefoot because people clean their fish there and that's just gross.

Rock and Roll Name

Camille and I are trying to win tickets to next year's Australian Open.

The following IM convo happened this morning:

Camille: they say it's 107 degree there right now. Are you sure we want to go?

Me: YES! As long as they have frozen lemonade or some alternative slushie bev then we're set.
Slushie Bev is my new rock and roll name!!!!!!!!!

You know friends, some people spend their whole lives looking for perfection and then it just drops in their laps like dew from heaven. I want it embroidered on the back of a gold lame jacket.

Maybe blepharitis

There's something up with my right eyelid.  There's been a small dry patch on it for about a month, and now it's a little pink and swollen.  My eyeball is fine so I don't think it's conjunctivitis or shingles (so help me, if it's shingles I'll DIE!!!!)(Also, 38 is turning into the Year of Weird Skin Stuff.  What's next? Scabies? Impetigo? Leprosy? Sweet Land of Liberty!  What if it's leprosy?) Obviously I'm going to wait until it grows a mouth and starts shouting at me before I go to a doctor to have it checked out but for now I'm just doing moisturizing and not wearing make-up.

I don't have a problem going out in public without make-up on.  But I normally don't.  I almost always have on at least mascara. And for work I put on a little shadow and liner.  But today I don't have any of that and I'm prepared to hear, "Are you okay?  You look really tired."  I have squinty eyes, okay! Why don't you just back off!

Naturally I took to the internet to see if I could figure out what is going on and I came across this:

• Blepharitis – The inflammation of the eye margin mostly caused by a bacterial infection or a skin disorder.

Okay, that's a funny word, right?  Go ahead and say it out loud.  Hilarious! I think it's just eczema (I get it sometimes in the winter) but that won't stop me from hoping for this conversation:

"What's up with your eye?"

"I don't know.  Maybe blepharitis."

Leisure Week This and That

Oh, poor neglected blog.  It's not like I've been ignoring you, it's just that I've been too busy lounging and my laptop is heavy. And not having to prepare a seminary lesson every night kind of went to my head.  I could read more than one chapter in a book before falling asleep. Or watch two episodes of Chuck IN A ROW! It was the Life of Elegant Leisure every day!

So here's some stuff:

1.  A true Knecht New Year's Eve involves staying in.  If I ever write on here that I went out that means I was abducted and am being forced to type lies. There's also probably a very large ransom.  Alert the Wealthy Benefactor! So we stayed in and we painted. For real.

2.  Back to seminary this morning.  I've missed those kids, even the ones who just sit there doing their best impressions of a pile of marshmallows wearing hoodies.

3.  It's also nice to have students back at the Institute because the weeks of Christmas break are a huge drag. It's great to work on bigger projects uninterrupted but there were several times where I'd look out into the empty building and sigh and then contemplate whether or not to play air hockey with myself.

4.  Does anyone else feel like you have to have chocolate in your mouth at all times throughout the holidays? Like if you're not eating chocolate at every moment of the day the Magic of the Season has died and it's all your fault?  Well, this is how I have felt so don't worry, I saved Christmas for you and yours by eating all the chocolate.  This has proven challenging for Day 1 of Stop Eating Like a Garbage Disposal, Rachel: I Mean, Why Don't You Eat a Carrot or Something.

5.  Speaking of which, I was at the gym last week on the stair climber and the girl next to me finished up and said, "You look great up there, girl!  You keep it up!" and I may or may not (may) have burst into tears because if there is one thing you need to hear when you're on that stair climber is that you don't look like the sweaty, blotchy, crazy-eyed monster you're staring at in the enormous mirror in front of you.  Why with the mirrors!?! Also, thanks, Lady.  You're my new hero.

Retrospective

A few nights ago I was talking to my mom and Lindsay about the whole Target debit card theft thingy and how I'm a little paranoid because you may recall that my card number has been stolen and my bank account wiped out twice this year and on top of that I had $30 left on a rebate credit card that was also stolen.  And Lindsay said to me, "So you've had this happen 3 times AND you had shingles?! This is a rough year."

To which I say, if this is all the bad things that happened then fine, I'll take it.  Those are hardly tragedies.  In fact it's been a year of grand adventure (as all years should be.)  Look, there have been plenty of rough patches in 2013. But it's hard to complain when life hands so you much joy.

This was the year I:

Went to New York with my sisters
Met Neil Gaiman
Became a godmother
Learned to not hate exercise
Went to a play-off game for the Dodgers
Sang "My Favorite Things" with Julie Andrews
Talked to Mock Turtleneck Guy
Found the Best Ice Cream in the Los Angeles
Did two days at the tennis tournament instead of just one
Met an astronaut
Memorized the order of the presidents
Parasailed
Discovered Prancercising
Survived my first year of early morning seminary and started a new one
Went to the circus for the first time
Saw New Kids on the Block from the luxury suite
Drove up the central coast with a bunch of wild teenagers
Made chocolate covered bacon
Went to the temple more
Went to lots of sing alongs
Read a lot of books
Had lots of Art Society meetings
Ditto that for book club
Laughed a lot with friends and family

See, it's been great.  Even if only half of these things happened I'd still consider it a success because there's so much to love about life (okay, truthfully, all I really needed was Prancercising.)  And I'm grateful that you come around here from time to time and share in the joy. It's an honor to have you be a part of it.  Here's to a new year full of wonder. And Slurpees.

It's been a week of Christmas

Since last we spoke there was:

1.  Julie Andrews.  Here are a few adjectives that were used on the drive home:  regal, charming, elegant, gracious, wonderful.  She is just so classy and beautiful.  She walked out as we were singing My Favorite Things and that may seem a little contrived but I'm telling you, it was one of the most magical moments of my life.  She is officially my model for elegant living and I'm wondering how many silk dressing gowns she owns so I can match it.  She must have a dozen.

2.  The Knecht Family Christmas Party, wherein we had a hootenanny complete with 2 guitars, a ukulele, a violin, an autoharp, and a bongo. There was also a ton of laughing.

3.  A surprise trip to Disneyland with Denise and her boys.  You just can't beat that. Especially when Drake yelled "Blast-off!" the entire time we were on the rockets.

4.  Christmas Eve brunch buffet at the Avocado House.  Caramel syrup for everyone!

5.  Christmas Day lounge-fest.  We don't leave the house.  We stay in our jim jams all day and we nap and eat and do puzzles.  It's the best.

6.  Santa Monica pier, LA Temple lights, and gelato with the fam.  White Christmases are for the birds.  It has been stunningly beautiful around these parts and 70 degrees is the perfect weather for December.

And finally,

7.  Lots of Addie time.  I cannot adequately express to you how cute this kid is. Oh, sure, you've seen pictures, but they don't do her any justice.  She has the most adorable personality and we would all spend hours just watching her babble to herself.  And now she's gone and we're in the depths of despair.  COME BACK TO US ADELAIDE!

Aside from the leaving bit, it was a perfect week of Christmas-ing.  How was yours?

Merry Christmas!

I'll tell you about Julie Andrews and the Knecht Family Party hootenanny and the impromptu trip to Disneyland later. But right now I just want to say that I hope your Christmas is merry and bright and that the Spirit of Christ fills your homes and your hearts.

The Hills Are Alive!

I didn't have much of a voice when I had bronchitis.  This is not a surprise.  But even after my voice came back I still couldn't sing.  Oh, I would try.  I would turn on the radio and clear my throat but nothing more than a wobbly croak ever came out.  This was a big bummer because I love singing at Christmastime.  And I missed a choir performance, which may not have ever happened before.  It was strange sitting with the congregation while the choir sang. This was also a problem in seminary because we always start with a song and there are only 2 girls who sing with me.  The other 15 kids just sit there.  Some of them mouth the words but it's mostly just me singing to them.  It's as weird as it sounds but I refuse to give up the song.

But my voice came back.  I'm able to sing, and just in time because it's a big singing weekend.  We have a choir number on Sunday and I'm singing in a trio.  But here's the really big reason why:

I'm going to a Christmas sing along and Julie Andrews is going to be there.

DID YOU JUST READ THAT RIGHT!?!?!?  Did I just type "sing along" and "Julie Andrews" in the same sentence?  I DID!!!!!   Literally two of my all-time favorite things are coming together. I've known about this since the spring and we purchased the tickets a while ago and yet I just can't think about it too much because my heart might explode. Or worse, my thinking about it jinxes the whole thing and it doesn't happen.  No, this is happening! At 11:30 am on Saturday I will be in the Disney Concert Hall and Julie Andrews will be on stage and we will be singing Christmas songs together.  And around that time you will feel a warmth in your heart, an inexplicable sense of gladness and good cheer.  And you'll go to your window and look to the west and you'll see a glow on the horizon.  That will be my joy.  It will not be contained. 

An Elegant Hand

At my ward's Relief Society Christmas party we all wrote letters to the missionaries and as I looked over the table I realized that I very rarely see anyone's handwriting these days.  How often do you get a handwritten note?  Not often.  It's all type, type, type.  It struck me how closely a person's penmanship matches their personality.

And then I had a flashback to the day when I applied for a job and the woman doing the interview looked at my handwriting and said, "That's almost identical to mine." And she pulled out a piece of paper and started writing and she was not kidding.  We were writing twins.  Very spooky. I got the job and we ended up being eerily similar in many ways.

And then again, I just finished up reading Rebecca where the New Mrs. de Winter keeps talking about how sharp and decisive Rebecca's handwriting was.  She's haunted by it because she has such weak handwriting and how can Maxim ever love her and her inelegant hand?  How, indeed!  And it struck me that for however long people have been writing they have been commenting on it.  And someday in the near future that won't happen anymore.

Then today I read an article about how important it is to still teach cursive in school. A lot of places have taken it right out of their curriculum.  I'm not as broken up about it as you might imagine.  The article was a little preachy and the gist of it was that it boosts kids' self esteem to master script. Hogwash, I say.  If anything learning cursive gave me anxiety.  I could never get the letters to look how they were supposed to look when I always could in printing.  And if I based my self worth on how nice my T's looked then that would be a sad thing indeed. But naturally, it made me want to dust off the old cursive:

Isn't it strange how we all learned cursive and we still break through and write how we want.  I mean, I really applied myself to it.  I did all those worksheets as a kid and still my writing has evolved to look nothing like how I was taught. Oh, how I agonized over those Ts.  And also the lowercase r.  I could never get that second corner.

But it is a little sad that kids today are missing out on the joy of writing the cursive Z.  I still use it because it's just so satisfying.  When I wrote out Zarahemla (a place in the Book of Mormon) on the board in class the other day, the kids did not know what it was.

This is just a really long way of saying, "Handwriting.  Am I right?"

Disney Day

The Fam went to Disneyland on Wednesday thanks to our pals Casey & Clancy.  And it was great.  Hooray for family fun. I mentioned last year when Casey got us in that I've been ruined forever from doing it any other way.  And I stick to it.  Free is better.  And even though it's a legitimate bummer that my mom has a bad ankle, there is no denying that the back door policy for wheel chair riders is fantastic.

While slowly making our way up Main Street we overheard a conversation:

Old Guy:  Hey, did you hear about the actress who stabbed her husband today?  It's all over the news.

Youger Woman:  No. That's awful.  Who was it?

OG: Um, I can't remember her name.  Reese, maybe?

YW:  Reese Witherspoon?

OG:  No, not with her spoon.  With her knife.

So it's corny but his delivery was perfect.

And then later that night, while in line at the Haunted Mansion we hear: "Hey, did you hear about the actress who stabbed her husband?"

Same Old Guy!  He is getting a lot of mileage off of that joke.