The Agony of the Feet

Kramerica Industries has taken me to places I never dreamed of - like a podiatrist's office where I spent four hours looking at pictures of some of the nastiest feet on the planet. When I was asked if I minded looking at gross pictures of feet I said no - but in my head I was screaming Good Heavens, YES! Because I do have a problem with it. But I want to be a team player and I thought, how bad can it be? I was prepared for some fungusy toe nails and a few bunions. I was wholly unprepared for what I actually saw. Here's a sampling of what came out of my mouth when I started looking through those pictures:

"Knights of Columbus!"

"What in the world...!"

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Is that a toe?"

"If that's a foot what happened to the toes...Oh, dear."

"I didn't know toes could bend like that."

"Is that meatloaf?"

"Is that even human?"

"Can I go back to calling insurance companies?"

"Um..."

"Yikes!"

"Egads!"

"..."

So here's my warning to you. Wear closed-toe shoes! All the time! Especially when motorcycling! Or when playing soccer! Or sleeping even, because you may have to get up in the middle of the night to pee and you'll stub your toe on something dangerously sharp and low to the ground and it will be ghastly! And get pedicures, often! Or at the very least file down those calluses on a regular basis! And if you see anything questionable growing on your foot have it looked at immediately before it takes over! Because it will take over, oh it will be ALL over and your foot will look like meatloaf. And for the love of all that is good and holy, DON'T GET DIABETES because what that does to your feet is a sin! Oh the humanity. I will never get the images of all those stumpy, gnarly, twisted, bloody feet out of my mind. Ever.