This Cold Can Not Be Contained.

My head cold is trying to break free. It seems that my head can no longer contain it because it is trying to come out of my left ear and right eye. Last night my ear clogged up and I woke up at around 4am to it throbbing and ringing. So I took some drugs and went on line to see if there was anything else I could immediately do to 1.) relieve the pain and 2.) unclog it. This was an astronomically bad idea. Because do you know what people love to do on those websites that ask for medical advice? They love to tell their horror stories. "My ear was clogged for 3 months!" "I had ringing in my ear for a week and then I lost my hearing completely!" "I had to have surgery and do you know what the doctor found? Two pairs of socks and the entire touring company of Cats!" Because that's what it feels like in there. Also, the clog has distorted all sound. So today in church all the music sounded slightly off key and when people spoke I would hear them in my good ear then hear a muffled and screechy version of them a millisecond later in my clogged ear.

And then there is my eye. I noticed it was a little red before church but when I got into Primary Teresa said, "You have something in the corner of you eye." So I went to brush it out and when I pulled my finger away there was the LARGEST EYE BOOGER I HAVE EVER SEEN. Teresa is a world class gal for not flinching, as I did when I saw it. It's been oozing all afternoon. And I'm officially grossed out by it.

I mentioned earlier that I thought either my immune system has been compromised or aliens life forms have taken over my body. My money is on the aliens. Feel free to share your own personal clogged ear/oozy eye horror stories.

Sign of the Apocalypse

Shiny leggings for toddlers

Get your wife and kids down to the bunker and make sure you have your can opener.