Dear Hobo We Almost Killed the Other Night,
Sorry about that.
You see, we were a little hysterical by that point. We had just picked up Andrea from the airport, which, for some reason, always makes everything so funny. I don't know why this is. It may be a combination of late night+very funny friends+mildly funny moments+the opportunity to make public spectacles of ourselves, although it could just be the very funny friends bit because have you met my friends? Hilarious. Like you really can't eat or drink anything while you're around them because there is always the possibility that one of them will say something so funny that you will choke and they'll have to do the Heimlich maneuver on you but they'll be laughing so hard that they can't so you'll run around the room trying to Heimlich yourself by falling onto the back of a chair but it's not working because you're laughing too hard to really concentrate on the landing, but miraculously the hard laughing also dislodges the piece of cake you were choking on and you end up with a really great story about the time you almost literally died from laughing. These are the type of friends I have.
Anyway, we picked up Andrea and only embarrassed her sightly with our very creative signs. (She's such a good sport. We do all sorts of humiliating things like make her wear a bonnet in Pasadena and try on really adorable clothes she would never choose for herself and she doesn't complain or make us stop. Secretly she loves it.) We decided to get some dessert somewhere. We tried Applebee's but when we walked in the guy at the front said that the air conditioning was broken. Boy was it! He was sweating so much it looked like his head had sprung a leak. So we headed over to TGI Fridays. You know the one off the 10 by the airport. Of course you know, you were there. Cross my heart, we didn't mean to almost plow into you but it was dark and we were slightly lost in that dead end street by the truck stop where Guasti should have gone through but didn't because there was that large pile of gravel and you with your shopping cart. The sight of you pushed us over into the Grandpa Laugh, you know where you laugh so hard that no sound actually comes out, it's just old man wheezing.
So you see, we couldn't help it. Maybe you should have noticed that we were heading straight for you and not gotten in our way. Or put reflectors on your shoes. That would have been helpful.
Apologetically,
Rachel (And Liz, Katie, Heather, and Andrea)
P.S. If you're ever at TGI Fridays go ahead and order the fried macaroni and cheese appetizer if you're really that curious. We were and it wasn't all that bad. It wasn't all the good either but it was worth the experiment.
5 comments:
I'm happy to hear that at least it was a piece of cake you were choking on in your story, and not something healthy like broccoli!
I agree--Andrea SHOULD come into town every weekend! I really dont know why it makes us turn into complete loons, but hey--we have SO much fun picking her up! ...It really should just be weekly occurance. Church on Sundays. The Office on Thursdays. Picking-up Andrea on Fridays. Because not only do we get to have a night of insanity, we also get Andrea here for the weekend.
I forgot one comment on the use of the word "hobo". It reminds me of this Gilmore Girls episode where Emily finds out that Rory and Lorelai intend to backpack around Europe and she says something about how they'll be sleepin on park benches like hobos. Lorelai says "who uses the word hobo anymore?" I can now answer that: Emily Gilmore and Rachel Knecht!
I remember that episode and I remember thinking, "Hey, I say hobo!"
I'm so glad you wrote this letter, Rachel. That poor hobo! (I affectionately call him "Lefty", by the way. I just always assume hobos are missing limbs).
Poor ole’ Lefty. I hope this letter gives him some comfort.
I mean, there he was, minding his own business collecting junk, cans, and whatnot, while trying to avoid the nefarious going's on of those other men, and then he's almost killed for his trouble! Oh, the humanity!
I'm just glad Katie was able to gain composure while driving. I was almost in hysterics by then and would have hit him, screamed, ran into the other men (truckers?/drug dealers?), screamed, then turned around and careened us into the gravel mound.
So, it was a good thing I wasn’t driving, a very good thing…
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