1.) Still...freezing...in...office...send...help. The repair guy came and found me huddled in my chair with my hoodie zipped all the way up and my hood tightly secured around my head. He told me it needed some major repairs and had to get the approval from the building owner which means a few more days of this arctic chill. On my break I went outside and stood in the sunshine. There were pools of ice in the shade. If I wanted to live in a place that had ice I would move to Switzerland where I could at least count on finding an excellent cup of hot chocolate and could reasonable get away with wearing one of those really large fur hats.
2.) Guess what I found last night. My missing address book. And guess where it was? THE LOWER CUBBY OF MY DESK RIGHT BY MY DICTIONARY! WHICH IS EXACTLY WHERE I ALWAYS PUT IT BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE IT BELONGS!! THE PLACE WHERE I LOOKED A DOZEN TIMES AND IT WASN'T THERE!!!!!!! For months I looked for it. I would sit at my desk and peer into the place it was suppose to be and wonder where it had gone off to. As predicted, I purchased a new one and hunted down everyone's address again and filled it all up and last night I went to put the new one where it belongs and there wasn't any room so I reached in and pulled out the old one. The old one that wasn't there 2 weeks ago. It is a mystery and I would like for someone to please explain it because I think I may be going a little bonkers.
3.) Katie and I decorated our wee apartment for Christmas last night and, as per tradition, we watched White Christmas. Which reminded me that over Thanksgiving I was down at my parents house helping them with their Christmas decorating, and we were, of course, watching White Christmas and when The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing came on my brother-in-law Chris, who is a DANCE INSTRUCTOR, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!, says, "This is the most boring part of the movie." And a stunned silence fell over the room. Because everybody knows that it's a GREAT part of the movie. And everybody also knows that the most boring part of the movie is Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep. Duh, Chris! It's a good thing you're likable and can reach the top shelves in the kitchen.
Showing posts with label mystery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mystery. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
My guess: International Jewel Thieves Down on their Luck
Yesterday I found myself sitting at a stop light and trying to figure out the story behind the person in the car ahead of me. Here are the details.
1.) Older model Corolla with a tinted driver's side window. No other window was tinted.
2.) The Driver had a nervous tick of shrugging his shoulders and cracking his neck. Like about every 5 seconds.
3.) He also had a very elegant fingers that he flourished about.
4.) He had a full mustache and looked to be Mediterranean.
5.) The Passenger was a very short woman. The top of her head only came up to the bottom of the head rest.
6.) I initially thought that it was a child but she had a 80's style feathered do. Like Jo's from the Facts of Life, only blonde.
7.) She did not move. Not an inch. Her head was slightly tilted off the side of the chair and it remained there through 2 red lights and the metered light on the freeway on-ramp.
8.) Maybe she was asleep, but the Driver was talking to her.
9.) There was a fuzzy teddy bear on the back of the seat (What is that called? The shelf behind the back seat?)(And WHY do people put stuffed animals there?)(Or boxes of tissue?)
10.) Dangling from the hanger holder (what is THAT thing called? The grip above the door in the back seat?) was a pair of hand cuffs.
Your thoughts, please.
1.) Older model Corolla with a tinted driver's side window. No other window was tinted.
2.) The Driver had a nervous tick of shrugging his shoulders and cracking his neck. Like about every 5 seconds.
3.) He also had a very elegant fingers that he flourished about.
4.) He had a full mustache and looked to be Mediterranean.
5.) The Passenger was a very short woman. The top of her head only came up to the bottom of the head rest.
6.) I initially thought that it was a child but she had a 80's style feathered do. Like Jo's from the Facts of Life, only blonde.
7.) She did not move. Not an inch. Her head was slightly tilted off the side of the chair and it remained there through 2 red lights and the metered light on the freeway on-ramp.
8.) Maybe she was asleep, but the Driver was talking to her.
9.) There was a fuzzy teddy bear on the back of the seat (What is that called? The shelf behind the back seat?)(And WHY do people put stuffed animals there?)(Or boxes of tissue?)
10.) Dangling from the hanger holder (what is THAT thing called? The grip above the door in the back seat?) was a pair of hand cuffs.
Your thoughts, please.
Monday, May 18, 2009
A Mystery!
It's time for another installment of Rachel Knecht: Girl Sleuth, because we have a mystery on our hands.
Here's how it goes: Remember last week when I shamelessly requested mixed CDs? Well, a few of you have come through, and I thank you. You all have fine taste. But on Friday night Katie was going through the mail and pulled out a package for me. WOOT! Another CD! But who sent it?
And therein lies the mystery, because I don't know.
Here are the facts:
1.) The only clue to the persons identity was the name Spencer on the return address. There was no address.
2.) Inside was a CD that looks like it was from a McDonald's Happy Meal (I hope it was a cheeseburger happy meal, as those are superior). It had popular songs on it sung by kids. It is rather terrifying.
3.) Also inside was a recipe for cream cheese swirl brownies which look divine. Once the mystery is solved you are all welcome to come over and celebrate by eating them right out of the pan with me.
4.) The package went through the City of Industry center, which means that it's local.
5.) The writing looks suspiciously feminine (Sorry Spencer, if you are, in fact, a fella. You have lovely penmanship.)
Here are my guesses on the possible sender:
1.) A friend playing a joke - which, incidentally, is a good one. I'm basing this off of the girly handwriting. If this is the case, I'm on to you. You had better fess up now before any more time passes and then it gets embarrassing for you and you come to me one night, all sheepish like, and say, "Um, remember when you got that random CD in the mail? It was totally me." And then I have to shun you for holding onto that information for so long.
2.) My neighbor Spencer. He is the only Spencer I know. Wait, strike that. My cousin Sarah just married a Spencer.
2a.) My cousin Sarah's husband Spencer. Neither of these are very likely because I don't think either of them read the blog. Don't judge.
3.) A friend named Spencer whom I have completely forgotten exists. This is entirely possible as it seems that just about every day I get a request on facebook to be someones friend and I have to spend hours trying to remember them only to come to the conclusion that we must have been in the same book club in a former life. In which case, I'm really sorry.
4.) A friend who has a kid named Spencer and thought it would be cute to send me something from him. Do I have a friend with a kid named Spencer? See #3.
5.) A blog stalker who, months ago, found the brownie recipe and cut it out, knowing that I would love it but had no way of sending it to me and was too embarrassed to come out and just ask for a mailing address, and then I posted one on the blog and thought, "Finally! And I'll send her this charming but terrifying kiddie cd that I got out of my cheeseburger happy meal for a laugh!"
6.) An actual stalker. Which was Liz's immediate response. She happened to be over when I was opening the package and she gasped and said, "You have a stalker!" To that I would like to say: I have nunchucks and I am not afraid to use them. And realize that they are illegal outside of the class so if I knock you unconcious, WHICH I WILL, I will claim that they belong to you.
Fun mystery, huh? And one of you out there can solve it. Go to it, gumshoes!
Here's how it goes: Remember last week when I shamelessly requested mixed CDs? Well, a few of you have come through, and I thank you. You all have fine taste. But on Friday night Katie was going through the mail and pulled out a package for me. WOOT! Another CD! But who sent it?
And therein lies the mystery, because I don't know.
Here are the facts:
1.) The only clue to the persons identity was the name Spencer on the return address. There was no address.
2.) Inside was a CD that looks like it was from a McDonald's Happy Meal (I hope it was a cheeseburger happy meal, as those are superior). It had popular songs on it sung by kids. It is rather terrifying.
3.) Also inside was a recipe for cream cheese swirl brownies which look divine. Once the mystery is solved you are all welcome to come over and celebrate by eating them right out of the pan with me.
4.) The package went through the City of Industry center, which means that it's local.
5.) The writing looks suspiciously feminine (Sorry Spencer, if you are, in fact, a fella. You have lovely penmanship.)
Here are my guesses on the possible sender:
1.) A friend playing a joke - which, incidentally, is a good one. I'm basing this off of the girly handwriting. If this is the case, I'm on to you. You had better fess up now before any more time passes and then it gets embarrassing for you and you come to me one night, all sheepish like, and say, "Um, remember when you got that random CD in the mail? It was totally me." And then I have to shun you for holding onto that information for so long.
2.) My neighbor Spencer. He is the only Spencer I know. Wait, strike that. My cousin Sarah just married a Spencer.
2a.) My cousin Sarah's husband Spencer. Neither of these are very likely because I don't think either of them read the blog. Don't judge.
3.) A friend named Spencer whom I have completely forgotten exists. This is entirely possible as it seems that just about every day I get a request on facebook to be someones friend and I have to spend hours trying to remember them only to come to the conclusion that we must have been in the same book club in a former life. In which case, I'm really sorry.
4.) A friend who has a kid named Spencer and thought it would be cute to send me something from him. Do I have a friend with a kid named Spencer? See #3.
5.) A blog stalker who, months ago, found the brownie recipe and cut it out, knowing that I would love it but had no way of sending it to me and was too embarrassed to come out and just ask for a mailing address, and then I posted one on the blog and thought, "Finally! And I'll send her this charming but terrifying kiddie cd that I got out of my cheeseburger happy meal for a laugh!"
6.) An actual stalker. Which was Liz's immediate response. She happened to be over when I was opening the package and she gasped and said, "You have a stalker!" To that I would like to say: I have nunchucks and I am not afraid to use them. And realize that they are illegal outside of the class so if I knock you unconcious, WHICH I WILL, I will claim that they belong to you.
Fun mystery, huh? And one of you out there can solve it. Go to it, gumshoes!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
More Mysteries
I went back to the fair last night (For research, Valerie. RESEARCH!) and while there I realized that I had neglected to share a few more mysteries with you.
The Mystery of the Guy or the Girl: While driving to the fair on Saturday we were stopped at a red light and Katie yelled out "Guy or girl?!" and pointed to a pair of college kids on the corner. One of them was clearly a girl but the other one we weren't quite sure about. She had all the appearances of a girl: hips, chest, long hair, fashionable bag. And she looked really feminine. Except that she had a goatee. Well, more of a soul patch. Or maybe is was a rather unfortunate mole. What I'm saying is that there was definitely a large-ish patch of hair on her chin and it looked like she could have been a guy. For a sec I thought that maybe she was like my friend Shim at Barnes and Noble but then I thought if he's transitioning into a woman then why the facial hair. And if she's transitioning into a man why the tight t-shirt emphasizing the boobs. Such a mystery! We stared at her for as long as the light was red but drove off as confused as ever.
The Mystery of the Chocolate Covered Bacon: Yes. They sell this at the fair. I did not try it but if someone had offered I would have taken a bite. Because I'm tuff like that. And bacon and chocolate are two of my all time favorite things on the planet. The only real mystery is why it took so long to get there. There's no doubt in my mind how it got there though. No doubt two guys were sitting around and were all, "Dude, the fair is awesome. Everything is fried or on a stick. It's like Man Food Heaven." And the other one was like, "Yeah, but there's no bacon." And then Guy 1 was all, "But you can't just sell bacon and it's already fried and it won't work on a stick. How would they make it better?" And then they were both like, "CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON!" And the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders came prancing out and showered Mardi Gras beads and Gatorade over them while Van Halen's "Right Now" played in the background. Or, at least that's how I imagine it happening.
The Mystery of the Guy or the Girl: While driving to the fair on Saturday we were stopped at a red light and Katie yelled out "Guy or girl?!" and pointed to a pair of college kids on the corner. One of them was clearly a girl but the other one we weren't quite sure about. She had all the appearances of a girl: hips, chest, long hair, fashionable bag. And she looked really feminine. Except that she had a goatee. Well, more of a soul patch. Or maybe is was a rather unfortunate mole. What I'm saying is that there was definitely a large-ish patch of hair on her chin and it looked like she could have been a guy. For a sec I thought that maybe she was like my friend Shim at Barnes and Noble but then I thought if he's transitioning into a woman then why the facial hair. And if she's transitioning into a man why the tight t-shirt emphasizing the boobs. Such a mystery! We stared at her for as long as the light was red but drove off as confused as ever.
The Mystery of the Chocolate Covered Bacon: Yes. They sell this at the fair. I did not try it but if someone had offered I would have taken a bite. Because I'm tuff like that. And bacon and chocolate are two of my all time favorite things on the planet. The only real mystery is why it took so long to get there. There's no doubt in my mind how it got there though. No doubt two guys were sitting around and were all, "Dude, the fair is awesome. Everything is fried or on a stick. It's like Man Food Heaven." And the other one was like, "Yeah, but there's no bacon." And then Guy 1 was all, "But you can't just sell bacon and it's already fried and it won't work on a stick. How would they make it better?" And then they were both like, "CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON!" And the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders came prancing out and showered Mardi Gras beads and Gatorade over them while Van Halen's "Right Now" played in the background. Or, at least that's how I imagine it happening.
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