It was one of those weekends where you just want to do high kicks all over the place because you're having such a good time. It included THREE outrageously fun parties, special occasion French Toast, a dance-off, karaoke, cheesy potatoes, a house full of Knechts, an apartment full of some of my favorite people, and lots and lots and lots of women in sequins dresses and fur stoles.
Just a couple of highlights:
1.) I wrangled a gig working the check-in table at a large hospital company Christmas party. Lucky, right? Because I LOVE doing stuff like that. Seriously. I love talking to total strangers, mostly because they give me great material. Like the doctor who came up and told me he was late because his Pomeranian didn't want him to leave and then he had to spend fifteen minute brushing pom fur off of his suit and thank goodness he didn't wear his tux like he did one year only to show up and feel totally over dressed so he just settled for his more subtle and suitable Christmas tie, which, it must be said, had dancing reindeer on it. Also, I love seeing what other people wear to parties. Oh, the sequins. And the sparkle. And the shorty short dresses. Some of their dresses were so small I was afraid they would catch pneumonia down there. Someone asked if I was having a good time and I said I was having the time of my life. And then they asked if I was being facetious and I said no because being paid $50 to sit around and people-watch with dinner and unlimited Shirley Temples included is my idea of a good time.
2.) I will just say this about karaoke. I love it and if you invite me and Camille to come along with you the next time you go we will sing a rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart that will make you weep.
3.) The annual Knecht Family Christmas Spectacular was on Friday. And I think that most of us all left feeling like it was one of the best we've ever had. Maybe Grandma and Grandpa were sending out double the party vibes now that they've teamed back up on the other side. Grandma loved her parties. And Grandpa loved basking in how much fun we all were capable of. I missed seeing him sitting in his chair and giggling at all of our antics. And you know there were antics. Antics are what we do best. And jazz hands. Which there were a lot of in this year's Knecht Sisters Holiday Number. (Some background: we took this from our favorite SNL Christmas skit that cannot be found anywhere on the internet. Trust me, we've all searched and search. Fortunately, it has worked it's way into our souls.) Enjoy, enjoy,enjoy.
Showing posts with label list. Show all posts
Showing posts with label list. Show all posts
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I'm a winner! Literally!
Around 7 pm I reached 50,000 words, thus making me a NaNoWriMo winner. WOOT.
In celebration I did a very spontaneous but elaborate dance that involved lots of shimmying and jazz hands and fist pumps.
But here's the thing - 50,000 words is really just a long pamphlet. It's about half the length of a regular size novel. And my story isn't near finished. But it's definitely on the way. Also, boy is it garbage right now. There are moments of greatness but for the most part it is a jumbled mess. Which is to be expected. I wrote fast and did zero editing. I have not gone back to read any of it. I am hoping when I do I won't be completely disappointed with it. I don't think I will be. There's a good base there. We'll see how it plays out.
Things I've learned while spending November lashed to my laptop trying to convince myself to write:
1.) The internet is my enemy
2.) The more I complained about how hard writing was the less writing I did. Once I changed my attitude and started saying, "This is a piece of cake. Just a really time consuming piece of cake." my progress tripled.
3.) Cake is an excellent writing snack.
4.) Do not start reading a hard-to-put-down novel with just three days left.
5.) Writing without editing is incredibly freeing. But it makes for really crappy writing. I need to find a good balance.
6.) Writing with a goal is the best. Even when it was a daily goal. There would be days when I would say, "Okay, I'm not going to stop until I hit 3000 words for today" and then I would get there and realize that I was only 1000 words away from hitting a milestone on my total word count and then I'd get there and realize that I was just 1000 words away from hitting a personal daily best. I suppose this is what athletes do when they're pushing themselves. Just for the record, I'm sticking with writing.
7.) I always do better when there is a prize at the end - even if that prize is allowing myself an episode of Psyche on Netflix.
8.) It turns out all those wealthy, famous, published authors are right: sometimes all it takes is to just sit down and write.
8.) 50,000 was not that hard. Or rather, not as hard as I thought it would be. Relief!
Thanks to everyone who asked how the novel was coming along. Feel free to keep it up because there's still plenty of opportunities left for me to think I'm a talentless hack before it is completed. I need the accountability and encouragement.
And if you'd like - you may stop by and see my NaNoWriMo winner's certificate. I think I will get one of those double frames so it can be side by side with my nun chuck certificate.
In celebration I did a very spontaneous but elaborate dance that involved lots of shimmying and jazz hands and fist pumps.
But here's the thing - 50,000 words is really just a long pamphlet. It's about half the length of a regular size novel. And my story isn't near finished. But it's definitely on the way. Also, boy is it garbage right now. There are moments of greatness but for the most part it is a jumbled mess. Which is to be expected. I wrote fast and did zero editing. I have not gone back to read any of it. I am hoping when I do I won't be completely disappointed with it. I don't think I will be. There's a good base there. We'll see how it plays out.
Things I've learned while spending November lashed to my laptop trying to convince myself to write:
1.) The internet is my enemy
2.) The more I complained about how hard writing was the less writing I did. Once I changed my attitude and started saying, "This is a piece of cake. Just a really time consuming piece of cake." my progress tripled.
3.) Cake is an excellent writing snack.
4.) Do not start reading a hard-to-put-down novel with just three days left.
5.) Writing without editing is incredibly freeing. But it makes for really crappy writing. I need to find a good balance.
6.) Writing with a goal is the best. Even when it was a daily goal. There would be days when I would say, "Okay, I'm not going to stop until I hit 3000 words for today" and then I would get there and realize that I was only 1000 words away from hitting a milestone on my total word count and then I'd get there and realize that I was just 1000 words away from hitting a personal daily best. I suppose this is what athletes do when they're pushing themselves. Just for the record, I'm sticking with writing.
7.) I always do better when there is a prize at the end - even if that prize is allowing myself an episode of Psyche on Netflix.
8.) It turns out all those wealthy, famous, published authors are right: sometimes all it takes is to just sit down and write.
8.) 50,000 was not that hard. Or rather, not as hard as I thought it would be. Relief!
Thanks to everyone who asked how the novel was coming along. Feel free to keep it up because there's still plenty of opportunities left for me to think I'm a talentless hack before it is completed. I need the accountability and encouragement.
And if you'd like - you may stop by and see my NaNoWriMo winner's certificate. I think I will get one of those double frames so it can be side by side with my nun chuck certificate.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Handel at the Nixon
Just like most families, the Knechts start the Christmas season off with a trip to the Richard Nixon Presidential Library.
(Note - it's been a few years since I've been through the place but I remember loving how they simply glossed over the whole Watergate business. "Well, there was this thing with some tapes, but LOOK OVER THERE! Is that the White House china??!)
We actually go for the Messiah Sing-along that is held there every year. It is magical in many ways.
1.) It's a sing along. This blog is riddled with examples of my deep love for them. People who like to sing along to things are just more fun. We all know it's true.
2.) People dress up in period clothing. What period, you ask? Oh, any period. There were people in mid 18th century dresses - which is the period Messiah was written - with lots of bustles and ruffles and powdered wigs and tri-cornered hats, and then there were people dressed like Jane Austen. And a few more dressed like they were from ye olde Dickens novel. Basically any kind of Days of Yore attire is permitted. Which makes me want to dress like a hippie next year.
3.) The music is divine. And I mean that in the literal sense of the word. Every year the conductor tells the same story of how Handel was destitute and he came home one night and found several verses of scripture a friend left on his doorstep to give him comfort and within six weeks the entire thing was written and Handel tells everyone that all of Heaven was revealed to him as he wrote. Then the conductor always says, "I wonder what he saw," and then we sing, "Behold the Lamb of God". And then I weep like a baby.
4.) The clarinetist had the BEST toupee. I mean, it was epic. He was clear across the room from us when we first spotted him and even from that distance we all were like, "niiiice."
5.) The orchestra and choir are all volunteers so there's always a few squeaky and out of tune violins. Which I love because it just reminds me that people do this sort of thing because they love it. My voice is also squeaky and out of tune most of the time. There is no judging here.
6.) We sang the Hallelujah Chorus twice because it was so much fun.
(Note - it's been a few years since I've been through the place but I remember loving how they simply glossed over the whole Watergate business. "Well, there was this thing with some tapes, but LOOK OVER THERE! Is that the White House china??!)
We actually go for the Messiah Sing-along that is held there every year. It is magical in many ways.
1.) It's a sing along. This blog is riddled with examples of my deep love for them. People who like to sing along to things are just more fun. We all know it's true.
2.) People dress up in period clothing. What period, you ask? Oh, any period. There were people in mid 18th century dresses - which is the period Messiah was written - with lots of bustles and ruffles and powdered wigs and tri-cornered hats, and then there were people dressed like Jane Austen. And a few more dressed like they were from ye olde Dickens novel. Basically any kind of Days of Yore attire is permitted. Which makes me want to dress like a hippie next year.
3.) The music is divine. And I mean that in the literal sense of the word. Every year the conductor tells the same story of how Handel was destitute and he came home one night and found several verses of scripture a friend left on his doorstep to give him comfort and within six weeks the entire thing was written and Handel tells everyone that all of Heaven was revealed to him as he wrote. Then the conductor always says, "I wonder what he saw," and then we sing, "Behold the Lamb of God". And then I weep like a baby.
4.) The clarinetist had the BEST toupee. I mean, it was epic. He was clear across the room from us when we first spotted him and even from that distance we all were like, "niiiice."
5.) The orchestra and choir are all volunteers so there's always a few squeaky and out of tune violins. Which I love because it just reminds me that people do this sort of thing because they love it. My voice is also squeaky and out of tune most of the time. There is no judging here.
6.) We sang the Hallelujah Chorus twice because it was so much fun.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Lydia the Tattoed Lady
1.) There are four more days left in NaNoWriMo and unless a freak finger accident is in my future it looks like I will finish. That's right, I WILL FINISH! I'm only 5000 words behind on my count, which, I have learned, is nothing. I eat 5000 words for breakfast.
2.) My toenails are a shiny gold right now and they make me feel very festive and also like a superhero. It is my new favorite color.
3.) I saw The Muppets today and it was grand. I mean, really. And it got me thinking about one of my favorite clips from the old Muppet Show. Enjoy
2.) My toenails are a shiny gold right now and they make me feel very festive and also like a superhero. It is my new favorite color.
3.) I saw The Muppets today and it was grand. I mean, really. And it got me thinking about one of my favorite clips from the old Muppet Show. Enjoy
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Nick Lachey is a Robot
1.) Last night I watched my friend Heather's kids and we spent the whole two hours drawing, coloring and painting. A while ago I told them about my ridiculously large collection of art supplies and they were eager to see them so I brought them along and they were sufficiently impressed. I'm not going to lie, it's a pretty rad collection. There are hundreds of crayons (in standard, neon, metallic, glitter and glow in the dark), colored pencils, pastels, watercolors, markers, and glitter paint. It was kind of an awesome night. I love Heather's kids (K said, "I think we should start an art society," as seven year olds do.) and I love to color and now I'm trying to figure out how to get other kids to color with me because it was so much fun.
2.) I've done it. I've made amazing rolls. Year after year I try to make rolls and they always turn out sort of mediocre. But I was trying out a new recipe for Thanksgiving and I wanted to give them a test run so I made some this afternoon and THEY ARE INCREDIBLE. I feel victorious. (Fluffy Dinner Rolls from America's Test Kitchen baking cookbook. ATK has never failed me. I'm also making their sausage cornbread stuffing that I made last year and have been dreaming about ever since.)
3.) Is anyone watching the Sing Off? And is anyone else annoyed that Afro Blues was sent home? And does anyone else think that Nick Lachey may be a robot? He does not vary from his host mode at all. From the inflection in his voice to his shiny shirt/black slacks combo to the way he stands with his hip a little out to the way he drops his arm when he's done talking, everything is exactly the same week to week. It's creepy.
2.) I've done it. I've made amazing rolls. Year after year I try to make rolls and they always turn out sort of mediocre. But I was trying out a new recipe for Thanksgiving and I wanted to give them a test run so I made some this afternoon and THEY ARE INCREDIBLE. I feel victorious. (Fluffy Dinner Rolls from America's Test Kitchen baking cookbook. ATK has never failed me. I'm also making their sausage cornbread stuffing that I made last year and have been dreaming about ever since.)
3.) Is anyone watching the Sing Off? And is anyone else annoyed that Afro Blues was sent home? And does anyone else think that Nick Lachey may be a robot? He does not vary from his host mode at all. From the inflection in his voice to his shiny shirt/black slacks combo to the way he stands with his hip a little out to the way he drops his arm when he's done talking, everything is exactly the same week to week. It's creepy.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Confetti Gun!
Highlights from the Chino High School Band Review and Field Show Competition (which my sisters and I go to every year even though none of us were ever in band - we're just really big dorks and live for opportunities to cheer for people and eat snack bar food.)
1.) During the parade one of the bands shot off confetti guns, instantly making them The Greatest Band There. Those guns went off and every single person, young and old, shrieked in delight. I wonder if they have little personal use sized confetti guns. I think that would be fun to take into the bank.
2.) We ate multiple things covered in nacho cheese. WIN!
3.) We always sit right in front of where the flag girls line up just before marching for the Rose Parade judges. It is a joy to hear some of the things their coaches say to them, the best so far being, "Hands on hips, smiles on lips, ladies." Which, of course, is my personal motto. Also, we like to chat with the girls. Well, not so much chat as say things like, "You look super sparkly," or "I love your hair extensions," or "We want to see some big smiles out there," as they're waiting to step off. I like to believe it gives them that extra boost of confidence.
4.) As usual we became best friends with everyone around us. It's because we spread good cheer and crack jokes about flag girl costumes. And we're loud. We will not be ignored! Anyway, we made friends with everyone around us including Charlene the 53 year old flight attendant who came by herself even though she didn't know anyone in the competition (or have a deep rooted family tradition of going) and started off the conversation by saying, "You girls are so funny. I just came from a stand up class in Burbank and I've been listening to you and you're hilarious. I came here to meet men but you can never have too many girlfriends." She then spent the rest of the evening telling me about her glory days as a majorette and trying to convince us to come to another band competition in two weeks. I told her that if she brought her baton and stormed the field I'd consider it.
1.) During the parade one of the bands shot off confetti guns, instantly making them The Greatest Band There. Those guns went off and every single person, young and old, shrieked in delight. I wonder if they have little personal use sized confetti guns. I think that would be fun to take into the bank.
2.) We ate multiple things covered in nacho cheese. WIN!
3.) We always sit right in front of where the flag girls line up just before marching for the Rose Parade judges. It is a joy to hear some of the things their coaches say to them, the best so far being, "Hands on hips, smiles on lips, ladies." Which, of course, is my personal motto. Also, we like to chat with the girls. Well, not so much chat as say things like, "You look super sparkly," or "I love your hair extensions," or "We want to see some big smiles out there," as they're waiting to step off. I like to believe it gives them that extra boost of confidence.
4.) As usual we became best friends with everyone around us. It's because we spread good cheer and crack jokes about flag girl costumes. And we're loud. We will not be ignored! Anyway, we made friends with everyone around us including Charlene the 53 year old flight attendant who came by herself even though she didn't know anyone in the competition (or have a deep rooted family tradition of going) and started off the conversation by saying, "You girls are so funny. I just came from a stand up class in Burbank and I've been listening to you and you're hilarious. I came here to meet men but you can never have too many girlfriends." She then spent the rest of the evening telling me about her glory days as a majorette and trying to convince us to come to another band competition in two weeks. I told her that if she brought her baton and stormed the field I'd consider it.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Modelland, gross hair, cream puffs and surviving consumption
1.) I've survived the consumption. Although I've had a bit of a relapse last night and today. Because yesterday I had a burst of energy after holing up in my apartment and watching countless hours of Gilmore Girls (what else is a girl to do in such a weakened condition). I ended up cleaning my bathroom, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the kitchen, including moping the floor, shopping for fabric, shopping for groceries, visiting my mom, making a Halloween costume for a friend, making cream puffs and hosting book club. By the time the ladies left last night it hit me that I was nigh unto death and I was in bed within 10 minutes. A record. But book club is always worth it.
2.) If you're going to have a book club you should read the Wednesday Wars. And not just because it's a great book. But also because cream puffs play a dominant part in it. Which means that when your friends come over for book club they'll bring an assortment of cream puffs. We had 4 different kinds. You cannot beat that.
3.) Stacy convinced me to try not shampooing my hair. As in, get it wet and condition it and rinse it out, just don't shampoo. She's been doing it (or rather, not doing it) for a few weeks now and claims her hair has become luxurious. And truly, it looked that way when we Skyped on Sunday. So I gave it a shot this morning. EPIC FAIL. When my hair dried it looked like I had soaked it in left over cooking oil and then styled it with lard. And then it hit me - I already have decent hair, minus the tumbleweediness and robust cowlicks. Why change anything? Shampoo it is.
4.) I finished Modelland. It is the crappiest book I've ever read in my entire life. Holy Cats in a Bag, it is so bad. If I didn't love Tyra and her loony ways it would have been a nightmare for me. I wouldn't have made it past page 20. It is so bedazzled with descriptions of the craziest things - things I can't even recount or describe because there were so, so, so many. There were several moments (ok, every page) that I thought, "Is this even a book? Or did Tyra's brain just vomit all over these pages?" Which is to say, it was awesome. I will be hosting a dramatic reading from it in a few weeks. You are all invited and must come prepared to smize.
2.) If you're going to have a book club you should read the Wednesday Wars. And not just because it's a great book. But also because cream puffs play a dominant part in it. Which means that when your friends come over for book club they'll bring an assortment of cream puffs. We had 4 different kinds. You cannot beat that.
3.) Stacy convinced me to try not shampooing my hair. As in, get it wet and condition it and rinse it out, just don't shampoo. She's been doing it (or rather, not doing it) for a few weeks now and claims her hair has become luxurious. And truly, it looked that way when we Skyped on Sunday. So I gave it a shot this morning. EPIC FAIL. When my hair dried it looked like I had soaked it in left over cooking oil and then styled it with lard. And then it hit me - I already have decent hair, minus the tumbleweediness and robust cowlicks. Why change anything? Shampoo it is.
4.) I finished Modelland. It is the crappiest book I've ever read in my entire life. Holy Cats in a Bag, it is so bad. If I didn't love Tyra and her loony ways it would have been a nightmare for me. I wouldn't have made it past page 20. It is so bedazzled with descriptions of the craziest things - things I can't even recount or describe because there were so, so, so many. There were several moments (ok, every page) that I thought, "Is this even a book? Or did Tyra's brain just vomit all over these pages?" Which is to say, it was awesome. I will be hosting a dramatic reading from it in a few weeks. You are all invited and must come prepared to smize.
Friday, October 7, 2011
A short list of good things
1.) Watching Casablanca outside on a big screen and remembering that it's an awesome movie.
2.) Warming my hands on a cup of hot chocolate after watching Casablanca outside and fah-REEZING.
3.) Finding out the Tigers beat the Yankees while warming my hands on hot chocolate. WOOT!
4.) Coming home and Katie remembering that she brought me a left over Lil' Debbie brownie. Ah, childhood.
5.) Watching Parks and Recreation while bundled up in my Dodger snuggie.
6.) Finally getting around to switching to October on my Abba wall calendar and finding this picture:
Nice overalls, Bjorn.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
It Was a Good Day at the Fair
I missed the LA County Fair last year because I was busy being hit on by Tunisian date farmers. An experience I would not have passed up, so it's no complaint. But while Tunisia does have an abundance of men offering you 300 camels to stay in the Sahara with them, it does not have many deep-fried things on sticks. So I was understandably eager to return this year.
1.) There was an entire display in the student arts & science exhibit of famous scientists made out of felt. And suddenly I did not feel so alone in the world.
Ben Franklin
Jane Goodall
Edward Scissorhands
2. I don't gamble, but were I to start it would be on horses. I LOVE watching a horse race. And not just because it reminds me of the Ascot scene in My Fair Lady (Definitely one of my all time favorite movie scenes. Ever.) It's just so exciting to pick a horse - based almost exclusively on how pretty I think it is - and cheer it on.
3. The majority of the stuff you can buy at the fair is pretty dumb. Like this toilet paper holder.
Friends, If I see this in your home I will be so embarrassed for you that I won't be able to look you in the eye ever again.
But if I see that you have purchased this:
as we did, then I will think you the smartest of all people. A slushy maker! And it really works! You put your chosen beverage in the cup with the special ice cubes and shake and in a minute you have a slushy! It is, as the sign says, magic.
4. My dream of all fair dreams is to win 1st prize for jam. Not that I'm an exceptional jam maker. I make strawberry jam every year and it turns out fine but I feel like one of these times something magical will happen and I'll make a sensational batch and that blue ribbon will be mine.
5. Let's face it, if it weren't for fair food the place wouldn't be nearly as charming. The only problem is that there are so many options you don't know where to start. Here's the trick, get one of everything and share. We had the usual, chocolate milk, corn dog, bloomin' onion, funnel cake, ice cream, but we also tried something new - the Potato Tornado:
A potato on a stick, deep fried and covered in a suspicious, yet delicious, powdery substance. Winner.
6. And finally, a tip: DON'T RIDE THE RIDES!
You guys! That is a ROLLER COASTER ON STACKS OF WOOD!!!! No doubt set up by some 17 year old carnie making minimum wage with an acne problem that is only slightly less worse than his marijuana problem. We could have tossed our stick from the Potato Tornado at it and the whole thing would have crumbled.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Oh What Do You Do in the Summertime When All the World is Green
If you know anything about my dear friend Valerie it is that she loves summer. Like, love-loves it. When you read her blog (and you should) you will find yourself saying, "You know, summer isn't really the sweat inducing season of Satan's Fiery Breath that I've always thought it was. It's quite nice. Let's go have a popsicle." She wrote an ode to summer recently that made me nostalgic for it - even though it was 95 degrees today, and we still have a good two months worth of warm weather ahead of us round these parts.
This summer has been lovely. Despite some rather annoying business (which I didn't write about because, well, I just didn't. I was busy eating Otter Pops.) It has been filled with adventure and shaved ice. A lot of shaved ice. Just tonight I went in and got a free shaved ice because I filled up a punch card. Not my first punch card. Probably my 4th. I'm not ashamed of my love for shaved ice, people.
In my nostalgia I have compiled a list of Glorious Summertime Moments in no particular order because they were all supreme:
1.) Filling my first punch card at the shaved ice place (OKAY! So I'm addicted. If you come and visit me I'll take you there and then you can stop being so judgy.)
2.) Walking through Union Station with my luggage about to board a train.
3.) That first night of beach camping, after our tents were set up and we strolled down to the beach. Suddenly it was like every summer of my youth.
4.) Getting on the jumbo-tron for the second time that night at the Dodger game.
5.) The point during my birthday party when I looked around and said, "I have really lovely friends," and several people said, "I know."
6.) The architecture river cruise where it was 10 degrees cooler than the rest of Chicago (Fact: It was named the Windy City because in the summer it actually is Satan's Fiery Breath blowing down on you.)
7.) Watching my nephews eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at the beach
8.) Les Miserables with my sisters, all dolled up and sitting in the box seats (as the Queen does), eating contraband peanut M&Ms.
9.) My cactus blooming not once but three times.
10.) West Side Story under the stars at the Hollywood Bowl
11.) The dance party at girls camp
12.) Singing "Living on a Prayer" at the Music Center sing-along
Oh, it's been good.
What was your favorite part of the summer?
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Because I'm curious and have spare time
Announcement, I'm back to making funny things out of felt and to jump start it I'm having a give away. If you answer any of the following questions you will be entered into a drawing to receive an original felt bookmark of your choice. You want want Yoda? You can have Yoda. Mr. T? Sure. Wayne Newton? Elvis? The cast of Three's Company? It's entirely up to you.
On to the questions:
1.) Did you get your free Slurpee on 7/11? Because I did. Look how happy we are together. MFEO. Also, what is going on with my bangs? Particularly that wonky part on the left. Dumb cowlick.
Question: What is your favorite Slurpee flavor?
2.) I'm back to the ring watch. Why did I ever leave? Seeing my fingernails that long is giving me anxiety.
Question: Do you wear a watch?
3.) Katie came home from shopping and presented me with this lemonade. This will mean nothing to you unless you know that my dad's nickname for me is Hubert. It is a mystery how he came to call me that - even to him - but I've been Hubert my whole life. It makes no sense. But the lemonade was tasty.
Questions: What is your nickname?
4.) Hey, what's that black thing on the wall of my parking garage?
Oh, just a moth the size of a postcard. And not one of those cheapo 5 for a dollar postcards but a fancy large glossy one that you can find at the gift shop in the Museum of Things that Scare the Holy Cats Out of Rachel
When I got close enough to take a picture it struck me that at any moment that moth could fly at my face, pick me up by my wonky bangs and carry me across the street to WalMart, you know, to complete my personal nightmare. I felt incredibly brave.
Questions: What flying and/or creeping thing would you not get close to even to take a picture for your blog?
5.) I took this of me and my mom in Union Station while waiting to board the train to Chicago
Question: Isn't my mom the cutest? (Hint, there is only one answer to this.)
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Nothing says freedom like ice cream and hats
My Fourth of July weekend was everything it should be. Complete with:
Eating out a lot
A very serious conversation over Bert & Rocky's ice cream with Amanda, visiting from the Frozen North, about the importance of ice cream placement in your cup/cone - your favorite goes on the bottom - and how shocked we are that people don't grasp this. Also, our shock over people liking vanilla ice cream. They always follow up this admission by saying, "But you can add things to it." And to that we say anything that needs to be added to is AUTOMATICALLY INFERIOR!!!! Clearly we are passionate about this. (Sorry for the rant. Vanilla makes me cranky.)
It also included a frenzy of hat making. My friend is throwing a bridal shower tea party and she saw the hats I made for the Royal Wedding and asked if I'd make some for it. As it is officially my new dream to live in London and make hats for the Queen I decided it would be good practice. So I took the gig.
Here, let me model them for you:
The white one, with its explosion of feather's shooting out, makes me feel patriotic. But I promise to not rib the Queen about losing to us all those years ago when I am the Royal Milliner.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The advent of summer
1. Happy Summer!!!!!!! I love the beginning of summer above all other seasonal beginnings because it feels so open and full of potential. It's a bit of wild card season. You know in the fall there will be school and in the winter will be Christmas and in the spring you'll have allergies. But summer is so full of surprises and possibilities. It is when your friends are most likely to call you up out of the blue and say, "Hey, I'm heading down to the beach to ride bikes. Wanna come?" I celebrated the advent of summer with a little shaved ice and am now ready for adventure.
2. Does the rest of the world have Funeral Potatoes, or is it just the Mormons? This afternoon I was helping out at a dinner after a funeral for a man who was a Mormon, long, long ago, but his family was not and we had, naturally, 3 pans of Funeral Potatoes (a casserole made of cream of something soup, sour cream, cheese and potatoes) and none of the mourners had ever seen them before. I suppose it could be called other things, but Funeral Potatoes are what it's called around these parts because, well, we bring it to funerals. It's easy to make, it feeds a lot of people, and it is the epitome of comfort food. At the end of it all I was chatting with the man's daughter, who was marveling at the amount of food we brought, and I had to explain that Mormons only know how to feed very large groups of people. I believe it's our pioneer spirit that warns us that the crickets could come and eat all our crops and we'll starve come winter and we'd better fatten each other up just in case.
3. After the funeral, I got to play the piano for one my primary kid's baptism. He comes from a very big family so I was expecting a crowd. What I was not expecting was that they'd all be early. I am notoriously late to things I have to be early to. I have nothing to blame but my optimistic sense of time. But tonight I arrived 15 minutes before it was about to start and I was super proud of myself - until I discovered that I was the very last person to arrive. I'm giving myself an A for effort.
4. I am thinking of becoming a super model. Behold.
2. Does the rest of the world have Funeral Potatoes, or is it just the Mormons? This afternoon I was helping out at a dinner after a funeral for a man who was a Mormon, long, long ago, but his family was not and we had, naturally, 3 pans of Funeral Potatoes (a casserole made of cream of something soup, sour cream, cheese and potatoes) and none of the mourners had ever seen them before. I suppose it could be called other things, but Funeral Potatoes are what it's called around these parts because, well, we bring it to funerals. It's easy to make, it feeds a lot of people, and it is the epitome of comfort food. At the end of it all I was chatting with the man's daughter, who was marveling at the amount of food we brought, and I had to explain that Mormons only know how to feed very large groups of people. I believe it's our pioneer spirit that warns us that the crickets could come and eat all our crops and we'll starve come winter and we'd better fatten each other up just in case.
3. After the funeral, I got to play the piano for one my primary kid's baptism. He comes from a very big family so I was expecting a crowd. What I was not expecting was that they'd all be early. I am notoriously late to things I have to be early to. I have nothing to blame but my optimistic sense of time. But tonight I arrived 15 minutes before it was about to start and I was super proud of myself - until I discovered that I was the very last person to arrive. I'm giving myself an A for effort.
4. I am thinking of becoming a super model. Behold.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
How hard can it be to accidentally be shot into space?
1.) Remember how I told you that my niece was cuter than your niece? I meant it. She is Miss Eliza Jean the Beauty Queen.
2.) In other news: KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS, COULD PRIMARY HAVE BEEN ANY MORE OF A MAD HOUSE TODAY? To say that being both the Primary president and the stake girls camp director was kind of a big undertaking is like saying the Grand Canyon is kind of a big hole. But for the most part they have only converged slightly over the last 5 months and I've had a lot of help from very wonderful people and it's been manageable as well as miraculous. So it just figures that on the day before I leave for camp we are short eight people - EIGHT PEOPLE - in primary and the kids seemed to have OD'd on lunatic pills.
3.) In other, other news: I watched Space Camp the other night (jealous?) for the first time in years and found myself a little let down that I'm not an astronaut. It was my dream as a kid to go into space. The first time I watched that movie at a cousins' slumber part at my grandparent's house I vividly remember thinking, "Those kids are SO LUCKY to have been accidentally shot up into space." And I was desperate to go to space camp because, you never know, maybe I could be so lucky. Who wants to join me in my letter writing campaign to NASA to 1.) reinstate the space shuttle program (let's not talk about my heartbreak over that) and 2.) institute a new Writers of Humorous Anecdotes in Space program. Also, did you know that Joaquin Phoenix is in that movie? As a young lad? When he went by the name Leaf? Crazytown.
2.) In other news: KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS, COULD PRIMARY HAVE BEEN ANY MORE OF A MAD HOUSE TODAY? To say that being both the Primary president and the stake girls camp director was kind of a big undertaking is like saying the Grand Canyon is kind of a big hole. But for the most part they have only converged slightly over the last 5 months and I've had a lot of help from very wonderful people and it's been manageable as well as miraculous. So it just figures that on the day before I leave for camp we are short eight people - EIGHT PEOPLE - in primary and the kids seemed to have OD'd on lunatic pills.
3.) In other, other news: I watched Space Camp the other night (jealous?) for the first time in years and found myself a little let down that I'm not an astronaut. It was my dream as a kid to go into space. The first time I watched that movie at a cousins' slumber part at my grandparent's house I vividly remember thinking, "Those kids are SO LUCKY to have been accidentally shot up into space." And I was desperate to go to space camp because, you never know, maybe I could be so lucky. Who wants to join me in my letter writing campaign to NASA to 1.) reinstate the space shuttle program (let's not talk about my heartbreak over that) and 2.) institute a new Writers of Humorous Anecdotes in Space program. Also, did you know that Joaquin Phoenix is in that movie? As a young lad? When he went by the name Leaf? Crazytown.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Pink
Things that have gone pink that shouldn't be pink:
1.) My eye. Once again, I have some weird eye infection that has turned my entire right eye pink - and oozy. Bleh. I'm pretty sure it's not actual pink eye because it doesn't hurt or itch or feel like my eyelids are made of sand paper. But it does leak a whole lot. And I think it's all allergy related because it has always come when I'm having a particularly difficult time with them. But whatever the cause, it is disturbing and gross and I'd like for it to go away.
2.) My neck. Or rather, a ring around my neck. We had a glorious Memorial Day that involved more time in the sun than I had anticipated and I now have a lovely necklace of slightly burnt skin around the collar. But it was worth it. We played bocci and went to the batting cages and ate homemade ice cream - which, in my book, constitutes the perfect day.
1.) My eye. Once again, I have some weird eye infection that has turned my entire right eye pink - and oozy. Bleh. I'm pretty sure it's not actual pink eye because it doesn't hurt or itch or feel like my eyelids are made of sand paper. But it does leak a whole lot. And I think it's all allergy related because it has always come when I'm having a particularly difficult time with them. But whatever the cause, it is disturbing and gross and I'd like for it to go away.
2.) My neck. Or rather, a ring around my neck. We had a glorious Memorial Day that involved more time in the sun than I had anticipated and I now have a lovely necklace of slightly burnt skin around the collar. But it was worth it. We played bocci and went to the batting cages and ate homemade ice cream - which, in my book, constitutes the perfect day.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
This post brought to you by the show Hoarders
I am blessed to live in a wee small apartment. Blessed because I only have so much room to put things. If I had more space I would have more stuff because that's just my nature. But every so often I'll catch a few minutes of that show Hoarders and suddenly I'll get it into my head that I need to throw everything I own into the trash because I CANNOT END UP LIKE THAT!
(Side note: have you seen Animal Hoarders. KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS!! And also EGADS! I actually can't watch it. Because I already think that cats will eat my face when I sleep. So I start to hyperventilate when I see the title, "Person living with 42 cats.")
So tonight I attacked the upper quadrant of my closet and I got rid of so much stuff. I love to look at something and decide that I don't need it anymore. Let freedom ring!
But here's a brief list of things that I found that survived the purge.
1.) My Best of Dolly Parton CD, which I am listening to right this very minute. I contest that Jolene is one of the greatest songs ever written. And not just because it's fun to sing along to but because I like to imagine that if Jolene did actually try to take Dolly's man and they got into a scuffle over it that Dolly would be the hands-down winner. I'm sure even Jolene is smart enough to know you don't mess with a woman with hair like that.
2.) My sophomore yearbook. Speaking of hair, what were we thinking? Oh, the hours we spent on our bangs.
3.) This picture of me and Amanda in front of a giant chicken.
I will report that there is a very similar picture of the two of us wearing those glasses on the Grassy Knoll. In fact, there are dozens of pictures of us in those glasses all over the greater Dallas/Fort Worth area. It was a trip that involved, among other things, the attempted theft of a fallen highway sign, Gina threatening to punch a tollbooth lady in the face, and the Greatest Meal of My Life. It was a pretty great weekend. And just so you know, if I'm given the opportunity to wear funny glasses and take a picture in front of a giant chicken, I'll do it every single time.
Tomorrow I tackle the lower quadrant of the closet and, if I survive that, under my bed. Oh the treasures that await.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Things in my food that aren't food
Foreign objects and creatures keep ending up on or near my food.
1.) A couple of weeks ago one of the doctors from the Pod took us out to lunch to the Soup Plantation. I already have a bit of an issue with buffet style restaurants. But I like soup and a free meal, so what are you going to do? Near the end of lunch a roach - A ROACH! - climbed up onto the table and started marching across. Pandemonium ensued. The doctor, without even putting his fork down reached over with his napkin and took care of it. The manager came over (because one of my coworkers caused a pretty funny scene by literally climbing over the doctor to get away from it) and took the napkin and said, "I can assure you we do not have any bugs in this restaurant." And then she opened the napkin, approximately 2 inches from my head, and flinched when she saw just how ludicrous that statement was. Conclusion: I can't even drive by that place without getting the heebs.
2.) Tonight at my favorite Thai restaurant I found a piece of twisted metal wire in my green curry. We waved down our waitress, (Her name is Moo. Seriously.) and presented the wire to her and within minutes she came back with the owner who could not have been more apologetic and promptly comped the curry and brought us some free pad thai. Conclusion: I can't quit that green curry. Or the tom kha gai. And their pad thai is pretty great. What's a piece of metal every now and then?
1.) A couple of weeks ago one of the doctors from the Pod took us out to lunch to the Soup Plantation. I already have a bit of an issue with buffet style restaurants. But I like soup and a free meal, so what are you going to do? Near the end of lunch a roach - A ROACH! - climbed up onto the table and started marching across. Pandemonium ensued. The doctor, without even putting his fork down reached over with his napkin and took care of it. The manager came over (because one of my coworkers caused a pretty funny scene by literally climbing over the doctor to get away from it) and took the napkin and said, "I can assure you we do not have any bugs in this restaurant." And then she opened the napkin, approximately 2 inches from my head, and flinched when she saw just how ludicrous that statement was. Conclusion: I can't even drive by that place without getting the heebs.
2.) Tonight at my favorite Thai restaurant I found a piece of twisted metal wire in my green curry. We waved down our waitress, (Her name is Moo. Seriously.) and presented the wire to her and within minutes she came back with the owner who could not have been more apologetic and promptly comped the curry and brought us some free pad thai. Conclusion: I can't quit that green curry. Or the tom kha gai. And their pad thai is pretty great. What's a piece of metal every now and then?
Monday, March 14, 2011
Fergus Murphy! And other tales from my day of tennis.
Camille and I have been making the trek out to the desert every March for several years now for a day of tennis. Watching tennis, that is. I haven't played tennis since college and even then it was mostly just as an excuse to get smoothies afterwards (am I right, Rac?) We get to watch several matches pretty close to the players and drink frozen lemonade. And now I have just realized that I must have a very deep-seeded link between tennis and slushy beverages. This is clearly not a bad thing.
2.) The chair ump for the last match we watched (The Bryan Twins v. Some Kid from Canada and Some Cute Guy from Spain.) was named Fergus Murphy. FERGUS MURPHY!! Oh, please let me have a son so I can name him Fergus Murphy (insert Wealthy Benefactor's last name here). Not only was he beautifully named but he had the funniest moment of the entire day. At the end of a break the players got up and into position and were ready to play but there was a couple right in the middle of the stand making some ruckus. Dancing or something. So Fergus Murphy says, "Ladies and gentleman, please take your seats." Still, with the ruckus. "Please, stop moving around so the players can begin." Still, ruckus. "Will the lady and gentleman standing directly across from me please stop moving around and sit down." STILL! "Hellooooo! We can all see yoooouuuu!" Fergus Murphy is my hero.
3.) Unless your in the big stadium or watching a match with some no-names, seating is decided by death matches under the bleachers. We always had great seats because after four years we have learned to go to the tail end of the smaller matches preceding the bigger ones. But some people haven't figured out this trick yet. People who had been waiting under the bleachers for hours would finally get seats and tell stories of blood and guts and name calling. An argument between two senior citizens very nearly came to fisticuffs. It was thrilling!
A few highlights include:
1.) Guess what is in this cup. Go ahead. Cocoa? Coffee (don't be ridiculous)? Some other hot beverage that needs to be sipped gently through a wee hole? Nope. It's rootbeer. They ran out of soda lids. This, after waiting in the drive-thru for 20 minutes. They handed this to me with a straw and no explanation until we asked. It was fine until the ice got in the way. But it made me giggle the entire time. And as an aside - here's something interesting about me that you may not know - I hate guessing. When someone says, "Guess," I always say, in a very stubborn tone, "I don't guess." I find that this is the only way to combat the, "No, come on! Just guess!" If it doesn't work I usually throw something out that is ludicrously wrong. Like if you say, "Guess how many polar bears I have in my Beanie Baby collection," I was say "910," and then fold my arms and harumph. Because I'm zero fun. Don't ever invite me to your party.
2.) The chair ump for the last match we watched (The Bryan Twins v. Some Kid from Canada and Some Cute Guy from Spain.) was named Fergus Murphy. FERGUS MURPHY!! Oh, please let me have a son so I can name him Fergus Murphy (insert Wealthy Benefactor's last name here). Not only was he beautifully named but he had the funniest moment of the entire day. At the end of a break the players got up and into position and were ready to play but there was a couple right in the middle of the stand making some ruckus. Dancing or something. So Fergus Murphy says, "Ladies and gentleman, please take your seats." Still, with the ruckus. "Please, stop moving around so the players can begin." Still, ruckus. "Will the lady and gentleman standing directly across from me please stop moving around and sit down." STILL! "Hellooooo! We can all see yoooouuuu!" Fergus Murphy is my hero.
3.) Unless your in the big stadium or watching a match with some no-names, seating is decided by death matches under the bleachers. We always had great seats because after four years we have learned to go to the tail end of the smaller matches preceding the bigger ones. But some people haven't figured out this trick yet. People who had been waiting under the bleachers for hours would finally get seats and tell stories of blood and guts and name calling. An argument between two senior citizens very nearly came to fisticuffs. It was thrilling!
4.) Because of the trauma of getting in and all that frozen lemonade, there is a real bond that you share with your neighbors. We sat next to Our New Best Friends Kristen and Austin for 2 entire matches. Austin cracked jokes and Kristen pointed out cute players. Ideal seat companions.
5.) Is that Paula Deen in a woven bird jacket?! I wish.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Things I've Lost This Week
1.) My calendar (status: still lost)
2.) My keys (status: found in Katie's purse - after several hours of searching and eventually giving up and calling into work to tell them I won't be making it in which is just so embarrassing because what am I, 12 and can't keep track of important things? and then getting back into my pajamas because gee whiz it's cold and raining out there and I felt defeated and frustrated and a bit in need of comfort and a hot chocolate.)
2.) My keys (status: found in Katie's purse - after several hours of searching and eventually giving up and calling into work to tell them I won't be making it in which is just so embarrassing because what am I, 12 and can't keep track of important things? and then getting back into my pajamas because gee whiz it's cold and raining out there and I felt defeated and frustrated and a bit in need of comfort and a hot chocolate.)
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Hide your prescription meds
1. Did anyone else watch Jeopardy! where the robot who is going to take over the world wiped the floor with the human contestants? Okay, so it's not a robot...YET. It's technically a super computer the size of a living room But trust me, those nerds at IBM are working on getting it into fighting shape so it can steal old people's medicine. The truth is, while I was rooting for the humans (Go Us!) I was really thinking, "That would be a pretty lame computer if it didn't cream them."
2. Due to some church responsibilities I had a long list of people to call tonight and so I worked my way through about 6 and when I got to the 7th she asked, "How many more people do you have to call?" and I said, "A lot" and she said, "Do you want me to make those calls for you?" And then I hugged her through the phone. Because to someone with a phone phobia (Hi!) being offered that is like someone saying, "Here, have this sack of gold doubloons."
3. I'm in a reading funk. A funk, I say! I've started and stopped no fewer than 5 books in the last 3 weeks because nothing is grabbing my attention. Quick, someone please give me a book that will make me want to ditch work to finish it.
2. Due to some church responsibilities I had a long list of people to call tonight and so I worked my way through about 6 and when I got to the 7th she asked, "How many more people do you have to call?" and I said, "A lot" and she said, "Do you want me to make those calls for you?" And then I hugged her through the phone. Because to someone with a phone phobia (Hi!) being offered that is like someone saying, "Here, have this sack of gold doubloons."
3. I'm in a reading funk. A funk, I say! I've started and stopped no fewer than 5 books in the last 3 weeks because nothing is grabbing my attention. Quick, someone please give me a book that will make me want to ditch work to finish it.
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