Gifts from a Kiwi

EEEEEEE!!!!!!!  Guess what arrived on my doorstep today!  A package from New Zealand!!!!!!  This blog has introduced me to some lovely little Kiwis who not only are funny and sweet and thoughtful but who send me things.  I love friends and I love packages.  Win win!  (Also, I love this blog.  Who knew it would bring me so much joy.)

Tessy wanted something felty but I can't take orders from people outside of the US because of the whole money exchange business so I said we could just make a swap.  I could send her something made of felt and she could send me something unique to her area, like a Hobbit.

Boy, did she.  Well, not a Hobbit.  She did say she looked for the One Ring but that was destroyed on Mount Doom.

But she made up for it in snacks.  Behold the New Zealandy loot:

There's candies (one called Pineapple Lumps - which is the must unfortunate and unappetizing name ever - that are like Charleston Chews but pineapple flavored.  Yum.) and Marmite (I'm going to give it another try after my first and only attempt 20 years ago of eating fermented yeast, which did not end well.) and Milo (a chocolate beverage which I plan to wash the Marmite down with.), some music, a lovely necklace, a book and postcards, a calendar and a NZ flag and an All Blacks flag (go All Blacks!)(that's rugby)(there's a World Cup going on right now and truthfully I don't follow the sport but it just seems appropriate now to root for them.) and a mini Buzzy Bee which is a toy that was made popular thanks to Prince William the Toddler, and a map so when I go out to visit I will know where I can find and hug my favorite people.

And for something truly unique, there is some yarn made of possum wool.  You read right.  Wool made from possum.  I don't know about you folk but around here possums aren't the most luxurious creatures.  And doing a little research it looks like possum wool is unique to New Zealand (Teresa, our resident yarn expert who only reads this blog about once every 3 months, can verify).  So I'm trying to imagine in a country that has more sheep than humans why someone would look to the possum and say, "I'd like to make a sweater out of that."  They must be velvety soft down there.  The yarn looks and feels like regular old, non-vermin yarn so keep your eye out for some sort of scarf in the near future.

Thanks Tessy!  I'm going to learn the New Zealand national anthem and sing it while marching around my apartment waving the flag.

Modelland, gross hair, cream puffs and surviving consumption

1.)  I've survived the consumption.  Although I've had a bit of a relapse last night and today.  Because yesterday I had a burst of energy after holing up in my apartment and watching countless hours of Gilmore Girls (what else is a girl to do in such a weakened condition). I ended up cleaning my bathroom, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the kitchen, including moping the floor, shopping for fabric, shopping for groceries, visiting my mom, making a Halloween costume for a friend, making cream puffs and hosting book club.  By the time the ladies left last night it hit me that I was nigh unto death and I was in bed within 10 minutes.  A record.  But book club is always worth it. 

2.)  If you're going to have a book club you should read the Wednesday Wars.  And not just because it's a great book.  But also because cream puffs play a dominant part in it.  Which means that when your friends come over for book club they'll bring an assortment of cream puffs.  We had 4 different kinds.  You cannot beat that.

3.)  Stacy convinced me to try not shampooing my hair.  As in, get it wet and condition it and rinse it out, just don't shampoo.  She's been doing it (or rather, not doing it) for a few weeks now and claims her hair has become luxurious.  And truly, it looked that way when we Skyped on Sunday.  So I gave it a shot this morning.  EPIC FAIL.  When my hair dried it looked like I had soaked it in left over cooking oil and then styled it with lard.  And then it hit me - I already have decent hair, minus the tumbleweediness and robust cowlicks.  Why change anything?  Shampoo it is.

4.)  I finished Modelland.  It is the crappiest book I've ever read in my entire life.  Holy Cats in a Bag, it is so bad.  If I didn't love Tyra and her loony ways it would have been a nightmare for me.  I wouldn't have made it past page 20.  It is so bedazzled with descriptions of the craziest things - things I can't even recount or describe because there were so, so, so many. There were several moments (ok, every page) that I thought, "Is this even a book?  Or did Tyra's brain just vomit all over these pages?"  Which is to say, it was awesome.  I will be hosting a dramatic reading from it in a few weeks.  You are all invited and must come prepared to smize.

Gasp

am dying of consumption...please send ice cream.

How do you say angry in Chinese?

Okay, so I'm going to show you this picture first to make it clear I was an adorable child.

That's me in the hat on my first birthday.  And that's Gina, flashing her knickers.

Now that we have established that, here's another picture:

Gina's all "Look at my luxurious bangs."  And I'm all, "Who stole my pork bun?" Because I have clearly morphed into a very angry 80 year old Chinese woman.

A short list of good things

1.)  Watching Casablanca outside on a big screen and remembering that it's an awesome movie.

2.)  Warming my hands on a cup of hot chocolate after watching Casablanca outside and fah-REEZING.

3.)  Finding out the Tigers beat the Yankees while warming my hands on hot chocolate.  WOOT!

4.)  Coming home and Katie remembering that she brought me a left over Lil' Debbie brownie.  Ah, childhood.

5.)  Watching Parks and Recreation while bundled up in my Dodger snuggie.

6.)  Finally getting around to switching to October on my Abba wall calendar and finding this picture:

Nice overalls, Bjorn.

Pajama Day

It was a pajama day.

For the record, I did change out of my jim-jams today.  I changed from a shorter pair of jammy pants to a longer, warmer pair of jammy pants and put on a different t-shirt, which I then covered with a sweatshirt, because suddenly it's all cold and fall like around here.  And also, for the record, I showered and washed my hair and shaved my legs.  And I put on a bra, which connotes some level of responsibility, right?  But I wore pj's all day long.

Even though I spend the majority of my time at home these days I still make it a point to get dressed and do my hair and put on mascara because it makes me feel more like a human being who is an active part of society.  I find that I am way more productive when I get myself ready for the day, even if it is just to fill out online job applications.  But the odds were stacked against me today. 

1.)  It rained all day.  I have mentioned here before that I have a made-up condition called weather paralysis which means that I feel like I am not capable of doing anything but eat cheese and watch Pride & Prejudice when it's cold and rainy. 

2.)  I have two of the largest zits that have ever sprouted on any face in the history of all zits.  And faces.  Which is a really long time.  What I am saying is that they are enormous and if mascara and non-stretchy pants makes me feel human, these zits make me feel like an alien from the planet Sad And Tragic.

3.)  Also from the planet Sad And Tragic, I woke up with a sty.  Gah.

4.)  Did I mention is was cold and rainy?

So, you see, it HAD to be a pajama day.  And I did, in fact, eat cheese and watch Pride and Prejudice, all 5 hours, while hunched over my crafting desk, submerged in felt.  Apparently I can be productive without mascara.

This and That and Tyra

1.  We don't watch a lot of Wheel of Fortune around here but when we do Katie kills it.  She's a Wheel savant.  It will be a 15 word phrase and she'll get it with two letters up there.  I usually don't even have it by the time the contestants have bought all the vowels and they keep spinning to get more money.  So I felt pretty good about myself tonight when I got one before she did.  Woot!  But what I really felt great about was recognizing one of contestants as a very bit character from Gilmore Girls who's maybe been in like 10 scenes total.  And there she was spinning for cash.  So I'm a Gilmore Girls savant.

2.  After dinner I said, "I could use some chocolate cake right now," and Katie said, "There's a recipe for individual microwave chocolate cake in the Food Network Magazine," (which, for the record, is a great magazine.  Trust your friend.  You'll want to make every recipe.)  I am very suspicious of things being cooked in a microwave.  Warmed up in a microwave, sure.  But baked?  I don't know.  (I wonder if the folks in Days of Yore felt this way about the gas range.)  But a girl has got to take a few risks if she wants cake.  And ta-da!  It worked.  Chocolate cake in under 10 minutes.  Revolutionary!  It's more souffle-ish, and it could definitely use some whipped cream or frosting or chocolate sauce, and the recipe makes more that I could eat (can you believe that?), but who am I to complain about such speedy results?

3.  I'm reading Tyra Banks' book Modelland and it is the Capital of Crazytown.  I'm marking my favorite passages and I think I need to host a dramatic reading.  Who's interested?

Beware the Waters!

For the last month the water here has both tasted and smelled like dirt.  I asked Katie and she said she didn't taste or smell anything.  I went out to eat with Holly to a place in Claremont where the water also tasted like dirt (yeah, Claremont, even you) and she said she couldn't taste anything.  I was beginning to think that I had a brain tumor that was affecting my senses.  I would die a poor spinster, alone with my felt. 

But it wasn't a tumor.  It was just my mutant sense of smell.  Because 3 days after I had the bad water in Claremont I got a text from Holly saying it was bad in LaVerne.  And at the same time I was down in Chino at the old homestead and it was gross there too, and I wasn't the only one who thought so.  And then suddenly Katie could taste it at our place.  And then my dad told me today that he heard on the radio that the water supply for western San Bernardino County and Eastern LA County (I live about 1 mile from the county line.  I'm at the epicenter of bad water.) has an algae bloom that's causing the water to taste like dirt.  Fantastic.  We can all rejoice that I'm not going to die alone with my felt, and they claim that it is harmless and are handling the situation.  But even so, my water still tastes and smells like it's being pumped in from a pond. 

On a tangential note, last night I had to make a quick run into Stater Bros. to pick up some hamburger buns and the man in front of me at the check out was buying 20 cans of Friskies cat food and 20 packets of Kool-aid mix.  I initially thought that he was throwing a party for his cats but now I'm wondering if he's trying to mask the taste of the nasty water.  I like his style (even though he looked like a hobo).  I'm always up for Kool-aid.

The Haftan

The nice thing about not having any extra money to spend is that I can try on whatever clothes I want without having to worry about the cost.  Everything is outside of my budget so why not try everything on?  I had an hour to kill before the movie last night so I headed over to Macy's to play dress up and while perusing the selection came across this little number:

You guys!  It's an orange and cream zebra print halftan!!*  Because of the spending moratorium the only price that would have worked for me was free but oh how I laughed myself silly in the dressing room.  It is so Golden Girls!  Doesn't it just make your day?!  And don't you wish it came with a turban, a pair of silk pants, and a stack of personalized stationary?  If it did I could go as a legitimate Woman of Elegant Leisure for Halloween.

I'm not sad about leaving it in the store because twice before I have found pieces that I loved during a spending moratorium and have gone back months later once I could spend again and have found them significantly reduced and in my size.  If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.  And then I can get down to some serious lounging.  A turban should be easy to make, right?

*A caftan that only goes to the hips. Rotating the picture cut off the bottom.

The community who watches musicals together stays together.

There's a very large outdoor mall around here and they're showing old movies out on their grassy knoll on Thursday nights.  Tonight was Singin' in the Rain so Katie and I headed over.  I cannot pass up Singin' in the Rain.  It is one of my favorites.  Also, I cannot pass up watching a movie outside on a balmy autumn night while eating Mexican food.  Perfect?  If a Slurpee had been involved it would have been.

The group sitting next to us were clearly super fans.  You know how much I love super fans.  One of the guys was laughing at (and I'm not exaggerating) every single funny line, like it was his first time seeing it, and also like he was drunk, which I don't think he was.  I am a big proponent of communal events such as this for the simple reason that people who go to these types of things go with the intent of enjoying themselves.  It makes for a nice crowd.

It's Victoria Gardens if any of you locals are interested.  Next week is Casablanca, if you'd like to join us.  The movie starts around 6:45.

Because I'm curious, what is your favorite musical?  Mine - The Sound of Music.  Duh.