Monday, December 9, 2013
Any ideas as to why these North Korean soldiers are patrolling in heals. I mean, they have tread which will help them chase their fleeing countrymen across the ice but that's where the practicality ends. Also, is Number Two wearing sensible pumps with blue socks? Yes. North Korea is a glorious mystery.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Do you want to know the most strenuous thing I did today? I lifted 6 pizzas. But the rest of the day consisted mainly of sitting and talking, so a normal full day. And still I came home completely wiped out. Which is to say that I'm back among the living, just not 100%. And that's ok. I'll take what I can get.
I took off Monday and Tuesday and made it 4 whole hours on Wednesday, which felt like an enormous accomplishment. And I don't have the death rattle any more. I think we caught the shingles early enough to not be so miserable as I remember. And I can stand for longer than 5 minutes. Progress.
But what I really want to say is that I'm surrounded by the nicest people on the planet. My refrigerator full of soup can attest to it. People dropped by with food and sympathy, and countless more offered. My seminary class was taken care of (like early morning seminary is the easiest thing to sub for on a few hours notice.) And everyone has been so helpful and wonderful. I have felt very taken care of. So thanks. If any of you want letters of recommendations as a friend I'll write you a glowing one.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Which was how I ended up at the doctors this morning. "Sure, Rachel. Of course you were at the doctors. This is what normal people do." Except that I haven't been to a doctor in about 6 years. Mostly because I didn't have insurance for a lot of those years but also because I never think I'm sick enough to see a doctor.
I'm going to suggest to my doctor that he starts creating categories for patients based on their level of tolerance. Because you know there are people out there who go in for a runny nose. They get one little paper cut and they're off to the doctor. And then there are people like me who only go in if limbs are starting to fall off. I want to have a sticker on my chart that says, "She's not kidding. She's really suffering. Desperation drove her here. Please just give her drugs and let her go home."
Because when the doctor said to me, "I'm not going to give you anything for the bronchitis but if you get to the point of extreme exhaustion and you have to drag yourself out of bed to do anything then give me a call," I wanted to yell, "I'M THERE! I'VE BEEN THERE FOR DAYS NOW! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M HERE!!! AND LOOKING LIKE A HOBO!!! I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO PUT ON MASCARA!!! I HAD EXACTLY ENOUGH ENERGY TO PUT ON A BRA AND BRUSH MY TEETH AND DRIVE MYSELF HERE!!!!!" Except that I was too exhausted to scream and simply said, "Give me the drugs." Which he did. A lot of them (I had to make a spreadsheet of when to take each one.) Because on top of acute bronchitis I also have shingles. And they're fighting against each other for my attention which is why I'm getting worse and why I'm so tired.
So I got a lot of drugs, and while I was at it I also got a flu shot and a DTAP vaccination, because why not. And then he noticed that I was due for a pap smear and suggested I could have that done today and then I punched him in the face. No. Not really. Remember I can barely lift my arms. Which was just his dumb luck.
If you need me, I'll be in my bed.
PS. This is my second time around with shingles. I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks.
PS2. One of my antibiotics doesn't work if I have any dairy, which is seriously cutting into my Season of Eggnog.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Along with being entertaining it is also a really beautiful experience to sing those songs. You know how much of a sucker I am for a sing-along. This may be my favorite one.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
But how about this one: "warm gelatinous ham fat."
I chose ham for our Institute Thanksgiving feast simply because I did not want to have to deal with the turkey neck and innards. I did that last year and I think I'm set for life. So I got a bunch of hams. They were pre-cooked and spiral cut and I thought, swell, this will be a cinch. And it was. Up until the time I had to carve it off the bone.
And that's when I started gagging. Look, I fully admit that I'm a wimp when it comes to meat. I like it but I want it to come in a hamburger patty, or a well trimmed steak, or a breast of chicken. I don't care for it on the bone or dripping in grease and fat. Cartilage and tendons and gristle gross me out. And that slimy, gelatinous fat sends me over the edge. So I just wasn't prepared for how much of all of that would be on this ham.
It was really the sound that got me. You know how I am about sounds. I have sensitive ears. It was that sound of the fat slicing apart. Like a plunger in a vat of jello.
And I'm gagging again.
Next year: vegetarian!
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Monday, November 18, 2013
And I tried everything. Any suggestion people made I would do. I took fish oil pills, I took prenatal vitamins, I rubbed coconut oil all over my head, I added more fat to my diet, I massaged my scalp every night, I washed it less, I washed it more. I did everything short of sacrificing squirrels under a harvest moon, and still it fell out. I had luminous skin but no hair.
And then suddenly...HAIR!
Seemingly overnight I went from losing fistfuls of it to sprouting it like a Chia Pet. I have regrowth upon regrowth. Little wisps of hair are shooting out at all angles. My head looks like one of those Tesla balls. And I love it. Never have I cared less about fly-aways, because it means that my hair is back.
The downside is more cowlicks. My scalp is a swirling mess of them. But at least they're covering up the corners. I'm not kidding! They're there!
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
I promise I wasn't following you. I mean, it seemed like I was. But really, you just happened to be at the top of the escalator when we got up there. And then you just happened to walk down the same corridor that the bathrooms were at. I just had to pee, okay. I'm not a stalker.
|Camille and the book, which is fascinating so far. You guys, it's a tough road to space.|
|Contrary to how it looks, this was not a lounge act.|
|Blurry - but whatever. We met an astronaut!|
Monday, November 11, 2013
Lesson learned: always start with Abba.
Monday, November 4, 2013
There's something about a marching band, right? I know you agree with me which is why I'm certain that you won't find it weird the my family goes to this high school band competition every year. Some people find it weird, but you don't.
Chino High puts it on every November and it's a joy to sit outside on a lovely autumn day and watch high school kids play clarinets and such. I mean, they're just so awkward. And they're band kids, which is like another level of awkward. But also fun. There is no denying that band kids know how to have fun.