Around the time I started this blog I was house sitting for someone and watching their dog Maynard, who was mentally challenged. He had fallen off the kitchen counter (WHY IS YOUR DOG ON YOUR COUNTER?! THEY STEP IN THEIR OWN POOP!!!) as a puppy and also OD'd on his owner's medication that was also open on the kitchen counter (geez) and it all left him a little special. He was cross-eyed and his tongue lolloped to one side and he would regularly just stand in front of me and stare. He was so wee that he could very easily slip through the fence posts. Many nights when I would let him out he would wiggle through and dash down the street and I'd have to chase after him shouting, "MAYNARD! MAYNARD GET BACK HERE!" Which may be one of the most ridiculous things you could shout into the night.
I don't know why I brought up Maynard. Maybe because he kind of set the tone for this whole blog. It's a silly place, this.
I've been going through the process of editing (for spelling and grammar only. What, like I'd change this beauty.) all the old posts because I eventually want to have them printed out. For no other reason than what if some day the world is struck down by a pandemic and 90% of the world population dies and the grid goes down and we lose everything and we have to somehow find a way to rebuild our lives, I'm going to want to remember all those times I wrote about Slurpees. And Wayne Newton and Tyra Banks and Prince Face and The Queen. And Ruby St. Germaine and her crack problem (RIP). And all my crazy jobs (remember the Doc?! Chiquita?!). And the World's Largest Felt Collection. And how many times I posted the link to the video for I Don't Want Your Freedom. And this picture:
And now, to stay on theme for random stuff that finds its way into my life: I took my car to a different mechanic yesterday (I am loyal to mine but this other place took my warranty) and when I went in to pick it up the guy helping me out said, "For you, for your first time with us," and reached under the counter and pulled out a bottle of Tapatio with their address label on it. This is the most genius thing I've ever seen. It's way better than a business card or magnet. It's a cheap way to get your name out there. Those bottles are $0.99. And, most important, you're always going to remember the mechanic who gave you Tapatio. I'll think of them whenever I have scrambled eggs.
