Monday, November 9, 2009

I Don't Tweet

Long ago I opened a Twitter account that I have never used. I went on to check out what it was all about and it took me 30 seconds to discover that it's basically a place to let people know what you ate for lunch. And I already have this blog to bore you with information like that. And I can do it in however many letters I want. And, I'm going to be honest here, I don't actually care what you had for lunch. Unless it was amazingly delicious and you're going to share the recipe. Or invite me over the next time you make it. Incidentally, why didn't you invite me over? I'm hurt.

So I've never posted anything on Twitter. And yet every so often I'll get an email from the good people over there saying that someone is following me. A few of them are friends who no doubt are holding their breath waiting for me to say something witty (Keep holding, my friends.) But the rest of them are complete strangers.

Which leads me to:

Dear Strangers Who are Following Me on Twitter,

Why? There isn't a single tweet up there. There's no picture. No profile. Zero information that would give you an idea of what you're signing up for. For all you know I could be some crazed lunatic who suddenly start posting about her Hello Kitty collection, or putting links up to pictures of rare fungal conditions, or a Britney Spears fan. Do you really want to follow a Britney Spears fan? I think you don't.

What I'm saying is that you maybe you could be a little more selective.

Best,

Rachel

4 comments:

Rach said...

I also don't tweet. It's partly in rebellion to its ever-increasing popularity. Also, I spend enough time messing around on facebook that adding something even less productive is ridiculous. So I'm with you. If I did tweet, I'd be your follower, but we're friends, so that makes it okay.

Heath said...

Dear Strangers Who are Following Rachel on Twitter,
Thanks for following her and giving her something to blog about. I'm sorry your life is so uneventful that you have to follow a tweet-less twitter account.
Good luck finding something fun to do,
Me


Dear Rachel,
Thank you for opening a Twitter account and telling me that it's basically a place where people post their lunch options. I, therefore, did not have to look into getting my own account, because I know I don't each lunches cool enough to tweet about. (Today I had pancakes--but I know you don't care.)
Love,
Heather

The Katzbox said...

I get unknown followers all the time. In fact, the more I tweet, the more followers I get. I'm not certain how they find me, but they do. They must have little catch words because one night I made several snarky tweets that were canine related and I received a couple of followers that turned out to be "pet care" sites. I have no way of explaining the "ladies of leisure" who are following me and I take no responsibility for that.

This past friday I put my ITunes on shuffle and tweeted my response to each song as it came up (yea...I was bored) and I ended up with a three tween-type followers. So...I don't know where the "followers" come from.

I enjoy the people I follow on twitter, but I sought them out. I knew them in advance; Jim Gaffigan, a couple of person friends, Tyra Banks, Justin Pollard (a British royal historian and funny guy), etc.

Anyway, thus ends my post. I have added nothing to the conversation. I have edified no one. Yep! This is pretty much like my twitter account except with lots more words. :)

Stephanie said...

I don't tweet for the same reason I don't own a really fancy cell phone - it's just too much work. I get along fine with my dinosaur, thank you.

But I know many people who like knowing what Shaq is having for lunch.