Today I cooked 2 turkeys and 20 pounds of mashed potatoes for our institute Thanksgiving feast this week. It's been kind of fun. Sometimes you just need to peel two bags of potatoes.
Here's my question: do any of you use the neck and the guts of the turkey? Because holy dry heave! Why do the Turkey People insist on putting those in? Hasn't the magic of science brought us to a time when we can have the option of neck or no-neck? Can't the neck people just ask the butcher for one instead of all of us having to deal with them? In general I have a difficult time handling raw meat, which is why I subsist on cold cereal and toast and the occasional apple. But this was too much.
I went to three different locations looking for just turkey breasts because I desperately did not want to have to remove the neck and the innards in that little bag. But I couldn't find them anywhere. Nor could I find a whole bird without them. So I decided to be a grownup about it and get the whole birds, with all the fixings. My prayers were partially answered because there was no little bag in any of the birds but I still had to pull out the necks. Oh vomit.
Dear Institute Students: This is how much I love you.
ADDENDUM!!: I just finished carving the turkeys and lo, there were the bags of squishy bits. They appeared to have been tucked somewhere in the upper most part of the bird. Fortunately they were in a paper bag and not a plastic one, because could you imagine all that basting and neck pulling out for naught! It's a Thanksgiving miracle!
And also, per Katie's comment: Some years ago my family determined that the sickest phrase in the English language was "moist giblet loaf." Enjoy your dinner, everyone!