Friday, November 13, 2009

Hazards of Eating Alone

I kind of like going out to eat by myself. Especially at lunch time, after a long morning of telling people that their felony will indeed get in the way of them getting hired by us. It's nice to have a peaceful hour to myself.

But there is a hazard in eating alone. It is this: you have no one to drown out the obnoxious chewers at the table next to you. If you eat with someone else you can talk right through it. But when you're dining alone you have no defense against the smacking lips, the sloshing food, the slurping, the gnawing, the sucking, the talking and talking and talking with their half-chewed sandwich still floating around inside their open mouth.

You'd be surprised at how hard it is to not stick my fingers in my ear and loudly hum Neil Diamond songs when these situations arise.

5 comments:

Rach said...

I end up watching TV a lot when I'm eating alone, and that's so I can't hear my own mouth noises. I would like to eat at a sandwich shop alone some time. I haven't done it for years. It is nice to have that alone time.

sarahgurl said...

I've been known to yell and leave the table for good if I can hear you chewing. I also HATE the sound of teeth scraping on a spoon...ITS ICE CREAM YOU DON'T NEED TO CHEW!! Apples are the absolute worst. between the bite and the chew is the sucking up of extra juice!! AAAAHH EEWWWWW

The Katzbox said...

Some people's jaw mechanics actually amplifies noise than others. I swear, my sister's mouth can make oatmeal sound crunchy. It alternately grosses me out and fascinates me. But she's 9 years older than me so, there was no way I was going to tease her about it...she could totally take me down...but now her knees are bad....HAHAHAHAHAH...who's laughing now sister.....

Stephanie said...

I don't like eating alone,and I haven't done it often. I do remember eating by myself on a business trip in New York - I don't remember anyone chewing loudly, though. Maybe people in the East know how to eat with their mouths closed better than West Coasters? Just a thought.

Casey said...

I base my life around my roommates' eating schedules--when they are eating, I am not around. Elementary schools should be forced to teach the proper way to eat cereal. No slurping, scraping, or opening of the mouth at any time except to insert the spoon. Get those kids started early with proper technique before it's too late to change.