Thursday, October 16, 2014

Book the Old Lady Cruise!

I've had this shoulder pain for about 3 months now and I finally went in to have it checked out. You know how I am about going into the doctors. I don't go unless limbs are falling off. Or worse, I'm losing sleep. And I was losing sleep because of the pain. Unacceptable. So I went in and the doctor checked me out and we had the following conversation:

"So you didn't have an accident where you hurt it?"


"You didn't fall and land on it?"


"Did anyone or anything hit you there?"


"And it just started hurting one day."


"Well, it sounds like just regular wear and tear. You may even have a bit of arthritis. That's pretty common for your age."

FOR MY AGE?! She means 80, right? Which is terrific because that means I can retire and move onto one of those residential cruise ships that sail around the world year round. I can play bingo with all the other senior citizens who have arthritic shoulders.

She gave me a pamphlet that had some cartoonish pictures of activities that could cause this sort of pain. And with the exception of pitching in a local softball league, I do every single one of them. Reaching for my purse in the back seat while sitting in the drivers seat, yes. Carrying a heavy purse on one shoulder exclusively (and before that a back pack), my whole life. Carrying enormous loads of groceries all at once, of course, because if I don't do it in one trip then I have failed. Reaching up for and retrieving heavy objects, all the time, because I'm short and have to reach for everything. She also said I have the tensest shoulder muscles she's ever felt, which could be a contributing factor, and that I must have a really stressful job. Sure, if sitting around eating tootsie rolls and talking to college kids about super hero movies is stressful, then okay,

She took some x-rays to rule out a tumor or anything torn and sent me home with exercises and drugs and a suggestion to stop using my right arm for repetitive motions. Easier said then done, Doc. Have you tried using your mouse on the left side of your key board? Hard. Although my shoulder does feel slightly better today since switching over.

The ray of sunshine in all of this is that I have to go to physical therapy, which means I get to hang out with senior citizens in stretchy pants. I'm going to scout out a good roommate for my cruising years.


Rach said...

Huh. Maybe all that knee pain I've been having is old age. Let's go on a cruise together.

Amanda said...

I'm in for the cruising years. Just wish that aches and pains were the only requirement because I'm ready to start the cruising.

Stephanie said...

I just got done with some physical therapy where they put needles in my back and hip and massaged the nerves and gave me excersizes and stretches. I thought of myself as one of the young people until one of the physical therapists called me "young lady. You know you are officially old when they call you "young lady" like it is a compliment.

Good luck on the physical therapy . . . I really liked what they were able to do with me. Even if I am old.😁

Valerie said...

I contracted "mother's thumb" when Edie was about six months old. And as if the name of my condition wasn't humiliating enough, when I asked about why I was so prone to tendinitis (I also have some in the old foot), the nurse told me, "It's just what happens when you get older."
And then I was like, "Thanks a lot, medical establishment."

That being said, I'm a big believer in physical therapy.