Down with Lettuce!

1. I've given up trying to like lettuce. Which is a totally ridiculous thing to say, I know, but there it is. Lettuce is no friend to us. It is not very flavorful and it's difficult to eat. Who among us has never had the experience of being caught in polite company attempting to shove a giant piece of lettuce into our mouths? You absolutely cannot eat a salad with any kind of grace. Also, I can't tell you how let down I feel when I remember that I brought a salad for lunch. It took me a while to figure out that it's the lettuce that bums me out. Everything else about a salad is great. So my brilliant plan is to just have everything in a salad but the lettuce. Like smaller, crunchier, (superior) chopped up veggies, which, thanks to modern day miracles, come in pre-packaged bags, and chicken, and an avocado, if available. Two days in and I think I'm on to something. But I feel a little dumb that it took me so long to diagnose my lettuce ennui.

2.  I did, as promised, put that picture of Prince on my desk and it has changed my life. I have many conversations with him throughout the day. I think he's going to come in real handy when I have to start towing cars at work (we have a major illegal parking problem over there that bring a lot of hoodlums and their litter.) and I'm going to go to him and say, "Prince, I feel really bad that these dummies are going to come back from class and see their cars have gone missing." And he's going to be like:

You're right, Prince. The signs are clearly posted.

Genius alert! I'm going to put Prince's picture on the notices I leave on the cars that are illegally parked! And all it's going to say is, "You know what you did."

3. We just got the Hollywood Bowl line up for the summer and it's a doozy. Harry Connick Jr.; Pink Martini; and a screening of Back to the Future with the orchestra playing the score along with the movie. For crying out loud! I think that they must have gotten wind that it's my 40th birthday this summer and they wanted to make sure I had enough opportunities to celebrate.