Thursday, March 5, 2015

Cats on an island

1. As a sign that the end is nigh I read about the Japanese island of Aoshima that has been overrun by cats. CATS! Oh, what a nightmare. Here, why don't you have a panic attack and look at this slide show about it. Or worse, you can watch this video where I swear I see blood stains on the pier. This has become a tourist destination! People pay money to take a boat out there and view the cats, and potentially have their faces eaten off by them. There are people who live on that island and feed the cats. Stop feeding them! They're only going to get stronger and smarter and that much closer to total world domination! And you people have given them an entire island for their headquarters!

2. I live by this rule:  when making chicken and dumplings, there should always be more dumplings then chicken. In fact, chicken is kind of optional for me.

3.  Here's what you should do:  you should go to the Redlands Temple and when you come out you should slowly walk to your car and take large breaths in because the air around the neighborhood is thick with the scent of orange blossoms. I went last night and I actually stopped at a stop sign just past the temple for a full minute with my window rolled down and breathed deeply and only moved on when a car came up behind me. Heaven will smell like orange blossoms.

4. We had enchiladas and Mexican rice for lunch today at the Institute and I was in charge of chopping. I got through the onions and garlic and peppers and then I tackled the jalapenos. I thought about wearing gloves but then of course we don't have any gloves there. And besides, how bad could it be. KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS!!!! My hands were on fire for hours. I probably could have lit charcoal briquettes with them. Oh, woe, WOE to me!!! What hath this Mexican rice wrought?! Also, I inadvertently rubbed my eyes sometime after and merciful heavens I thought I was going to go blind. Fortunately, my little pal Kelsie asked why I didn't just put anti-bacterial gel on them, like she's some kind of pepper burn scientist. And would you believe it, it totally worked. There's still a bit of a sizzle to my hands but I can no longer roast marshmallows by them.


Camille said...

Give me orange blossoms!!!! One week and I'll be sipping a frozen lemonade and sniffing the orange trees. Citrus heaven.

Andrea said...

Are you sure those cats aren't photo shopped? Holy Grossness Batman! I'm too scared to watch the video. I mean, can you imagine what that place must smell like? When a neighborhood cat drops his business in our grass the whole yard smells, I can't even fathom what it would be like with that many cats! Or what about when they are in heat? That is the most freaky sound ever. Ok, I have to stop thinking about cats now...on to orange blossoms. That is the one thing I miss most about living in the Alta Loma house (other than being closer to you), our backyard had about 6 orange trees and we'd open the windows at night and fall asleep to the smell of oranges. Sigh.

Rach said...

First of all, Tyler saw the pictures of all the cats and said, "AW, cats!" And I admit I thought the same thing. At least they're healthy looking cats. (A sure sign that they're organized.) And at least they're not all living in some old hoarders house in their own filth. That grosses me out way more than an island full of them. But yes, cat pee is the nastiest smell on the planet, and that place must stink to high heaven. Gross. My question isn't IF they're going to kick the humans off the island, it's WHEN. I'm going to go watch the slide show in a minute.

I want citrus trees, just to smell the blossoms. They really do smell delicious, unlike a giant pile of cats.

Heather said...

Oy, the cats! I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight. I saw the blood stains, too.
Maybe I'll feel better if I go smell my neighbor's orange tree.

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