Well, the Russians are at it again. Those doping, low-down sneaks! Will they stop at nothing to win?! In a nutshell there was a whole clandestine government-sponsored switcheroo going on with urine samples at the Sochi Olympics. The guy who was forced by the Kremlin to run it and then forced to resign once it came out has had to flee for his life to sunny LA (do you think I could meet him?), which was a smart move considering that two of his colleagues mysteriously died just months after the story broke. There's been a call to ban Russia from the Olympics. I will sign that petition. Should we have a rally or something? Let's make t-shirts and have a rally. Stop messing with my Olympics, Russia!
Do you also think of this scene from An American Tail when you hear the word rally? I have literally only seen that movie once and yet it comes to mind every single time.
Plus, it's Madeline Kahn, which naturally leads me to think of this:
Speaking of flames on the side of my face: I think my allergies are trying to tell me something, and that something is that they hate me and want me to be miserable and live the rest of my life as a sniffly, snotty, droopy-eyed zombie who doesn't have any friends because I've driven them all away with my constant nose-blowing and throat-clearing and awkward ear-scratching. It is the worst it has ever been, folks. If I were a cartoon character I would have a cloud of pollen over my head and beehives coming out of my ears.
I had a student in the institute a few weeks ago who had a bad cold and sniffed - and I'm not exaggerating because I timed them - about every 20 seconds. And I put up with it for an hour. AN HOUR!! Finally, I couldn't take it anymore so I went over to him with a box of tissue and said, "Darling Child, I know you're feeling miserable, but either you blow your nose or you leave the building because I can't handle your sniffing any longer." And he apologized and then DIDN'T BLOW HIS NOSE AND CONTINUED TO SNIFF!!! Only quieter but I could still hear him because I am a neurotic human being with mutant selective hearing. So I kicked him out. And when I pointed him toward the door he said, "Where am I supposed to go?!" I told him I didn't know but not to the library and not to class and not around any other human beings because he clearly did not care that he was gross and germy and totally unfit for society. One of my job responsibilities is to help these kids be functioning adults and one of the realities of adulthood is that when your nose is full of boogers, you blow it. I am absolutely going to needlepoint that.