It should be noted that when I got in line at Joann's with my two wee bits of embroidery floss totaling $.85 all the items in the basket of the woman in front of me had already been scanned and the checker was telling her, "That will be $62.71."
What followed was 10 minutes (TEN MINUTES!!!!!!!!) of the woman:
Explaining why her teacher discount card had expired
Explaining why she had an old teacher's union card
Digging around in her purse for her new teacher's union card
Asking the checker how she would go about getting an updated teacher discount card
Being informed that it was easy enough, she just had to go online to do it
Asking the checker if she couldn't just come into the store because sometimes she doesn't trust the internet to do things because once she had signed up for something online and it didn't work can you believe that.
Telling everyone around (including me as I smiled patiently) that she taught high school orchestra
"Yes, really! High school orchestra!"
Telling everyone around (including me, this time shooting laser beams out of my eyes) that she was planning on buying scarves for the orchestra to wear for their Christmas concert because she really didn't want to make them but here she was making them - sigh.
Laughing at herself for being so darn accommodating
Being told repeatedly that the total was $62.71.
Digging around her purse for her checkbook
Methodically licking her finger and flipping each previous duplicate in her checkbook until she came to the next check
Carefully writing out the check while saying out loud exactly what she was doing
Balancing her checkbook
Being handed her bags and her receipt and a "have a nice night" but refusing to move
Asking the checker if they have any Cricut books
Announcing to everyone (including me, now silently weeping into my embroidery floss) that she was planning on buying a Cricut in a few months and wanted to be prepared so she needed to know exactly where to find the Cricut books when that day came
Reluctantly walking away from the counter, only to leave her shopping cart in the aisle, thus blocking me and the five people who had lined up behind me from getting to the cash register
Moving the shopping cart after the checker beat me at shaming her into moving it but acting like she was just asked to move a giant bag of poo.
Blissfully going about the rest of her life never realizing that we were all imagining how many spools of grosgrain ribbon it would take to tie her up and dump her in the back corner with the discounted fabrics.