I'm a winner! Literally!

Around 7 pm I reached 50,000 words, thus making me a NaNoWriMo winner.  WOOT.

In celebration I did a very spontaneous but elaborate dance that involved lots of shimmying and jazz hands and fist pumps.

But here's the thing - 50,000 words is really just a long pamphlet.  It's about half the length of a regular size novel.  And my story isn't near finished.  But it's definitely on the way.  Also, boy is it garbage right now.  There are moments of greatness but for the most part it is a jumbled mess.  Which is to be expected.  I wrote fast and did zero editing.  I have not gone back to read any of it.  I am hoping when I do I won't be completely disappointed with it.  I don't think I will be.  There's a good base there.  We'll see how it plays out.

Things I've learned while spending November lashed to my laptop trying to convince myself to write:

1.)  The internet is my enemy
2.)  The more I complained about how hard writing was the less writing I did.  Once I changed my attitude and started saying, "This is a piece of cake.  Just a really time consuming piece of cake." my progress tripled. 
3.)  Cake is an excellent writing snack.
4.)  Do not start reading a hard-to-put-down novel with just three days left.
5.)  Writing without editing is incredibly freeing.  But it makes for really crappy writing.  I need to find a good balance.
6.)  Writing with a goal is the best.  Even when it was a daily goal.  There would be days when I would say, "Okay, I'm not going to stop until I hit 3000 words for today" and then I would get there and realize that I was only 1000 words away from hitting a milestone on my total word count and then I'd get there and realize that I was just 1000 words away from hitting a personal daily best.  I suppose this is what athletes do when they're pushing themselves.  Just for the record, I'm sticking with writing.
7.) I always do better when there is a prize at the end - even if that prize is allowing myself an episode of Psyche on Netflix.
8.) It turns out all those wealthy, famous, published authors are right:  sometimes all it takes is to just sit down and write. 
8.)  50,000 was not that hard.  Or rather, not as hard as I thought it would be. Relief!

Thanks to everyone who asked how the novel was coming along.  Feel free to keep it up because there's still plenty of opportunities left for me to think I'm a talentless hack before it is completed.  I need the accountability and encouragement.

And if you'd like - you may stop by and see my NaNoWriMo winner's certificate.  I think I will get one of those double frames so it can be side by side with my nun chuck certificate.

Lydia the Tattoed Lady

1.)  There are four more days left in NaNoWriMo and unless a freak finger accident is in my future it looks like I will finish.  That's right, I WILL FINISH!  I'm only 5000 words behind on my count, which, I have learned, is nothing.  I eat 5000 words for breakfast.

2.)  My toenails are a shiny gold right now and they make me feel very festive and also like a superhero.  It is my new favorite color.

3.) I saw The Muppets today and it was grand.  I mean, really.  And it got me thinking about one of my favorite clips from the old Muppet Show.  Enjoy

No novel, but nicely trimmed nails

The continuing list of things I've done instead of NaNoWriMo includes:  trimming and filing my nails (I cannot be expected to type with long nails); searching every inch of my kitchen for an appropriate snack for writing (I thought it was popcorn but I was wrong); going to a friend's baby shower where I got to visit with the girls and snuggle a newborn; visiting another friend afterwards where I got to snuggle with her newborn (Oh boy, newborns.  They're kind of the best thing ever.); making paper Christmas ribbons

Ack!  I'm addicted.  And for what purpose.  It's not like I ever go out of my way to decorate presents.  And it's not like people are going to keep those forever if I do.  And yet, I can't stop.

For those of you interested I am officially 6051 words behind on my count.  But I have a plot.  A PLOT!  That I'm pretty sure I have stolen from every single book I love.  But at least I'm heading in some direction, right?

Do you know what else I have been up to instead of NaNoWriMo?  Going to my writing group.  I now belong to one with 3 friends.  We all have similar goals in regards to writing and recognized the need to be brave in order to achieve those goals so we got together for the first time last night to critique.  It was TERRIFYING!!!!  Because you may not know this but 99.5% of every single thing I write I think it garbage.  Oh, it's just so bad.  And I have learned that every other writer on the planet feels the exact same way.  So imagine how we all were feeling last night as we huddled around our little bits of work, anticipating confirmation that our fears are justified - we cannot write.  And then it turned out to be just the opposite - we found out that we could.  It was actually a really amazing experience for me.  We were all kind and helpful in our critique and no one left in tears.  And I came home inspired and ready to write.  And what did I do this morning?  Trimmed my nails and watched Gilmore Girls.  But I'm getting there.

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In other news:  I'm a little annoyed at my Jehovah's Witness best friend Jason who occasionally stops by to give me pamphlets and invite me to conventions because while I was visiting my friend her own JWBFF came by and gave her a present for the baby.  What?!  Jason is totally slacking on this.  I was busy snuggling so I didn't get a chance to see them but had I been at the door I would have told them to pass it on to Jason that he can stop by anytime with a present.  At least wrap the Watchtower magazine in a bow.

My mantra for this month is: If Tyra can do it, so can I!

I'm doing NaNoWriMo this month.  That's right, folks, it's time I got around to writing a novel.  By the end of November I should have at least 50,000 words and an ulcer because the truth is, I've never written that much in my life.  Well, that much of one thing.  I do better writing short things like blog posts and thank you notes.  Every time I have attempted a novel I've gotten about 30 pages in and decided that 1.)  I'm a talentless hack, 2.)  I have no imagination, and 3.)  I'm going to give it all up and learn how to do something that will actually make me money like cosmetology.

But can you think of a better time to do it than right now?  I'm a woman of elegant leisure.  I have all the time in the world.  So what if I don't have an imagination.  Or a plot.  Or realistic and interesting characters.  They say that all you really need is a deadline and November 30th is pretty firm.

But take a look at my list of activities this morning and see how this could play out:

Turned on my computer, all set to write
Checked my email
Checked Google Reader
Read a few articles in the LA Times
Read up on Kim Kardashian getting a divorce (I'm pretty ashamed about that one)
Fixed myself some breakfast
Talked myself out of playing a round of online Scrabble
Wrote this blog post instead

David Franzen (who writes big books) said he removed all games from and physically disabled the Net portal on the computer he writes on.  I totally get why.  Distractions are the death knell of my creativity.

But I'm determined.  So feel free to ask me how the writing is coming along.  Check in to make sure I'm keeping up with my daily word count goal (2000/day).  Ask me if I have finally come up with a plot line that involves the characters doing more than just sitting and watching TV for 100 pages.

Tyra did it (sort of)(I mean, she wrote a lot of words).  Surely I can too.