1.) The Pod (yep, I'm back) is located right next door to a hospital that my grandpa was admitted to yesterday. I tell you, the convenience. He's okay. How do I know? He's telling corny jokes and war stories and he's flirting with the nurses and hassling the physical therapists. Oh, Grandpa. Anyway, I walked over to the hospital to visit him and I passed by a nurse who was eating lunch on a bench outside. There wasn't a back on the bench but there was a wide but low arm on the side so she had her lunch sitting on the arm and was leaning over to eat. Here is where I should tell you that scrubs do not have a lot of give to them. Meaning when you sit in them they don't stretch out to cover your butt. They instead migrate south of the border. So here was this nurse, leaning way over to eat her lunch and wearing scrubs that had headed so far south that were her butt a globe I could have pointed out the Cape of Good Hope. This was compounded by the fact that she was wearing a thong. There was a whole lot of flesh. But she was just munching away on her salad, by all accounts intent on fully mooning me, the 10 construction workers in the parking lot, the 10 people out on smoking breaks, and the flock of children walking into the hospital. You would think that the draft alone would have clued her in, but no. I felt like it was my duty to at least bring it up on the chance that she was in some kind of tragic butt numbing accident, but as I made my way over I saw someone else beat me to it and whisper something in her ear and motion to her exposed backside. And what did the nurse do? She shrugged and shift down her shirt a little, which only succeeded in covering the very top of her thong. Classy.
2.) One of the girls at the Pod called an insurance company to verify coverage of custom shoes and shoe inserts. She was told that under the patient's plan those items are only covered in case of an amputation. Which means that in order for the company to pay for either inserts or shoes that are specifically measured and molded for his feet he would have to not have feet.