Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I'm going to start refering to people as Old Fart. You've been warned.

The husband of a patient at the Pod was sitting in the lobby, waiting for her to finish up.  He was wearing a VA hat, a t-shirt with a bald eagle on it, American flag suspenders and aviator sunglasses.  He was making phone calls to pass the time.  (And he was also - and this may gross you out - sucking the snot up in his nose like it was his job.  Not just little sniffles but full-force suckage.  You know what I'm talking about.  For me, this is the most repulsive sound on the planet.  I haaaaaaaate it.   It makes me want to punch something, and then vomit, and then punch something else.  The End.)  These phone calls were of the "Hey, this is Big Fat Nose Sucker.  Let's get together some time." variety.  There wasn't anyone else in the lobby so it wasn't such a big deal.  Once the lobby started to fill up he stopped.  Until his phone rang and he said, in the loudest voice possible, "WELL HEY THERE YA OLD FART!  HOW THE HELL ARE YOU!"  And then proceeded to spend the next 10 minutes talking to one of his old war buddies about their time in Nam.  The receptionist and I just sat in our chairs, hiding our faces and giggling the entire time.  He more than filled my daily quota for the Ridiculous

3 comments:

Rach said...

That is awesome. And I apologize for any snot sucking I may have done as your roommate. I'm sure it happened once or twice. And I look forward to being called OLD FART by you. Next time we meet up I'll be expecting this greeting, "Hey there, you old fart! Have you puked lately?"

Heath said...

I love that he said that! I also look forward to being called an Old Fart.

Empress of Venus said...

Well a fart isn't any good unless it's old. More satisfying.