Thursday, July 3, 2014

Keep it classy, America!

Happy Independence Day! Oh, I just love this holiday. There's the Twilight Zone marathon and corn on the cob (you remember how I taught you to butter it, right?) and illegal fireworks going off in the neighborhood while we dance in the street. It is a glorious day.

But you know this already, so I'm going to do a public service here and give my list of appropriate and inappropriate uses of the flag on clothing. Celebrate America by not being tacky:


1.  Simple flags on a t-shirt or a hat.
3.  Flag pins.
4.  An Uncle Sam hat,  because it is iconic
5.  Any tastefully artistic rendering of the flag
6.  Converse, because Chucks = America


1.  Leggings
2. Shorts
3. Denim diapers

4.  Swim suits
(Basically just keep it away from your crotch.)
5.  Whole shirts (you have to turn in your passport if it has a denim collar.)

I know you're trying to be patriotic and fun. But can't you just wave a flag and lose some fingers to a rogue firework like the rest of us?

Have a great day and let freedom ring!


Andrea said...

We went to a BBQ joint the other day and they served corn on the cob. The waitress asked us if we wanted a piece of white bread, I bet it was to butter the corn, what else would it be good for?

Heidi said...

Pretty much DYING right now over this.

And I think we need inappropriate police... went to Jurupa fireworks with my parents and it was pretty much the worse. Maybe I'll just start citizen arrests.