I went back to the fair last night (For research, Valerie. RESEARCH!) and while there I realized that I had neglected to share a few more mysteries with you.
The Mystery of the Guy or the Girl: While driving to the fair on Saturday we were stopped at a red light and Katie yelled out "Guy or girl?!" and pointed to a pair of college kids on the corner. One of them was clearly a girl but the other one we weren't quite sure about. She had all the appearances of a girl: hips, chest, long hair, fashionable bag. And she looked really feminine. Except that she had a goatee. Well, more of a soul patch. Or maybe is was a rather unfortunate mole. What I'm saying is that there was definitely a large-ish patch of hair on her chin and it looked like she could have been a guy. For a sec I thought that maybe she was like my friend Shim at Barnes and Noble but then I thought if he's transitioning into a woman then why the facial hair. And if she's transitioning into a man why the tight t-shirt emphasizing the boobs. Such a mystery! We stared at her for as long as the light was red but drove off as confused as ever.
The Mystery of the Chocolate Covered Bacon: Yes. They sell this at the fair. I did not try it but if someone had offered I would have taken a bite. Because I'm tuff like that. And bacon and chocolate are two of my all time favorite things on the planet. The only real mystery is why it took so long to get there. There's no doubt in my mind how it got there though. No doubt two guys were sitting around and were all, "Dude, the fair is awesome. Everything is fried or on a stick. It's like Man Food Heaven." And the other one was like, "Yeah, but there's no bacon." And then Guy 1 was all, "But you can't just sell bacon and it's already fried and it won't work on a stick. How would they make it better?" And then they were both like, "CHOCOLATE COVERED BACON!" And the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders came prancing out and showered Mardi Gras beads and Gatorade over them while Van Halen's "Right Now" played in the background. Or, at least that's how I imagine it happening.