Friday, September 19, 2008

Three Things

Three funny things:

1.) All morning I was STARVING. Every time my stomach would growl I would wonder why I was so hungry. I ate a very good breakfast this morning.

Except that I didn't eat breakfast. I made breakfast. I was running late so I made my usual yogurt/berry/granola breakfast and put it in a cup and carried it out to my car and put it in a cup holder and immediately forgot about it. So by the time I dragged myself out to my car to go get lunch, still so confused as to why my stomach was beginning to snack on itself, the mystery was solved by the very distinct smell of yogurt that has been baking in the sun in an enclosed car for 5 hours. Lovely

2.) A direct transcript of a conversation I heard at work:

Mother of Kid Getting Treated: How do I know if he's out of alignment
Doc: Just check his crease.
MOKGT: His crease?
Doc: Yes. His crease. Check his crease. If he's out of alignment his crease will be crooked.
MOKGT: His crease?
Doc: (turns around and vigorously runs her fingers up and down her butt crack.) His crease.
Me: (snort)

3.) I guess this is my week to spot ladies with facial hair because there is a patient that was in the office today with the fullest mustache I've ever seen on a woman. I mean, it looked like she was entering a Magnum PI Look Alike competition. There was no sign of even an attempt to bleach and if she's waiting to grow it out a little to have it waxed she's about 6 weeks behind. Poor thing.


Jared and Laurel said...

Woohoo! Nothing like a female mustache. I just wanted to comment. I'm a big fan of everything I've read on your blog. Hilarious!

Chris said...

The crease?

Liz the Poet said...

Can you imagine a kid going to school and telling a teacher that his mom had to check his "crease" all the time to make sure he's in alignment?

Heather said...

Haha--I love the story. I'm a little sad I didnt get to see it, but I'm imagining it in my head, and it's Hilarious!

Rach said...

Too funny. First of all, I don't think a day has gone by where I've forgotten to eat breakfast. You must have either been really tired, or you're not obsessed with food like I am. I think about breakfast as I'm falling asleep every night. And the whole crease situation will haunt me forever. Now whenever little Jacob's got a naked bum I'll have to try not to check his crease. This post has also made me grateful that I'm not one that has to wax my upper lip.

Heather said...

So...I was in class yesterday, and the girl in front of me and in the next row over was whale-tail-ing (you know, when her thong is sticking out above her pants) and all I could think about was "check the crease." I was about to explode into a fit of giggles, but was forced to "respect" my teacher by making 10 origami flowers for my bouquet.

Heather said...

PS--Sorry for the visual!