Don't you just hate it when you sit down to write in you blog and you have loads of things you could write about but nothing is coming out right and you're pretty sure that you've lost your sense of humor, which, let's be honest here, is the one thing you really have going for you, and once that's gone and all your friends have left you, you'll have nothing but the World's Largest Felt Collection to sustain you through the now dark and dreary days, and without your sense of humor, even the felt seems a little creepy and out of context, because, seriously, who in the world has that much felt? and what would you do with all of it if you're not funny anymore and can't make funny things with it?
Here are topics I started writing about in the last few days but ditched after I realized that I'm the Least Funniest Person In America. Right next to Jay Leno.
1.) My fear of undersea footage of sunken ships
2.) The time Amanda and I wore blue star shaped sunglasses on the grassy knoll.
3.) Ice flows crashing into homes in Michigan and how I will never live in a place where that is even a possibility, even if the Wealth Benefactor is from there and promises a Slurpee machine.
4.) How much I hate Daylight Savings Time and my writing campaign to stop it. And how I secretly believe that DST is the reason why I'm not funny anymore.
5.) My fear that my super awesome nunchuck skills will make my already large forearms balloon up to twice there size from all the muscles I'm building.
6.) How my inability to remember names, even of people I know pretty well, has set me up for some embarrassing moments. Especially now that I'm on facebook and people from Days of Yore are showing up to friend me and I have to wrack my brain to remember how I know them until it hits me, long after the totally embarrassing point, that we were like best friends in junior high.
8 comments:
your memory may be shot but rest assured, your sense of humor is still in full measure.
although i agree - DST is the spawn of the devil and should be shot on sight at sun-up.
Wow! That's one impressive run-on sentence.
OH my gosh....this was hilarious...truly....so funny.....
#1. they are creepy...it's that fuzzy, dark nature of the film and the possibility that a one-eyed head will pop thru a window!!!
#2. OH my gosh...I have referenced "the grassy knolls" frequently in my life, just not recently or in my blog...I feel so much better...whew! thanks....
#3. Ummmm...can't relate, but your WB can afford a large furnace and he will heat those suckers and make drinkable water for poor people in the deserts of Nairobi (I think there may be a desert there???)
#4. I'm on the fence on this every other year according to our meeting times at Church....I'm very self-centered that way....so whatever works for you and Nancy, I'm with ya.
#5. 3 words: Rosie the Riveter
#6. memory loss....at your age, it's bothersome...at mine, it's a diagnosis....
Great post....you are loved....
I say let them pick one or the other, but changing times twice a year is awful. I'll join your campaign.
How can you be your father's daughter and have an inability to remember names when he is the master of name remembering? I'm pretty sure he knows every person's name in the stake (or at least he did when I lived there). You'd think a skill like that would be passed on to his children at birth.
Ha ha. I live in the enlightened state of Arizona where they have banished DST. My nose is high in the air and I am saying "whilst" a lot.
Neener, neener.
you should move to arizona. they don't believe in randomly changing the time of day here.
Rachel, do you know that I lost my blue star sunglasses in CA. Then last year I worked at that there elementary school and my great friend the school counselor had a pair in her office from some skit they had done and I made her give them to me.
And, as if we only wore them on the Grassy Knoll. I remember great enjoyment as we embarassed Laura.
I would take large forearms if I could be a nunchucker. I totally think it's worth it.
I don't mind DST so much. I feel it is a perfectly reasonable excuse at least once a year for missing the early morning church meeting that you aren't really needed at anyway. Although, the trade off is that the other DST time, you totally forget and show up an hour early. So, yeah you are right. Down with DST!!!
I'm with you on sunken ship footage. Icky. I think the only thing that's more creepy is sunken airplane footage, because you know there will be bodies. Yick. About the ice crashing into houses in Michigan--what is it about rich people building their houses in dangerous places? There are a ton of super huge houses here that are starting to slide down the mountain, and the idiots that built them think it's the government's fault. And don't get me started on building in the riverbottoms. I blank on people's names to their face constantly, which has put me into the habit of never addressing anyone by their name, so you're in good company.
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