Monday, January 4, 2010

Just ignore me. It's normal.

Boy, when I give you a job (this time - stirring) you people really come through. And there wasn't even a prize involved. I can tell you're all civic minded team players. I'm going to report your good works to the Congressman next door and see if he can get you a plaque or something.

The results are that the counter-clockwisers are the freaks. Or, as I like to think of us, special. And not short-bus special but Faberge egg special, four leaf clover special, Christmas morning Quik special. What I'm saying is we're rare and kind of beautiful.

So I was grumpy all weekend. I’m blaming PMS because there wasn’t a single other reason for me to feel grumpy. I just did. Grumpy and punchy and irritable. Which is just awful because 1.) I hate being grumpy and 2.) I really hate being grumpy simply because of PMS. If my hair was looking tragic or I was fresh out of Burt’s Bees lip balm or nothing but No Doubt songs were playing on the radio, then I would have good reason to be grumpy. But there were zero irritants. Well, other than the billion and a half dollars I had to spend on new tires. But have you driven on new tires? After driving on Flintstone rock tires for several months? It’s a dream. So was the free alignment. And the hour I got to spend browsing around B&N while the work was being done. And yet I still felt like I couldn’t open my mouth for two days without breathing fire at people for looking at me. See? It’s PMS all the way. And, let me tell you, it’s ridiculous to be such a cliché – The Irritable Hormonal Woman. Like I should have been in a ratty bathrobe with mascara tears streaming down my face while stuffing chocolate in my mouth.

I have since moved on to the Emotional Wreck phase of PMS, which in a way is a relief - crying I can handle. I was watching Cranford last night - a movie I have seen before and actually remembered what happened so I was prepared - and I was weeping openly for about an hour over it. And then this morning I was reading Colleen's story about her friend Amos* and was openly weeping at work. And I had to explain to Chiquita that I was fine and to just ignore the blubbering. Maybe I should watch Shadowlands tonight to get it all out of me.

*If you choose to read this story Colleen would appreciate it if you only thought mean things about her. Although I will risk her wrath and say that I have known her for many years and have always thought, even before the Amos story, that she is one of the kindest people on earth. Take that Colleen!

8 comments:

colleeeen said...

Your lies will not sway me. I prefer to be thought of as a person of dubious character and taste.

Rach said...

That was me Christmas weekend. Including Christmas day, when my poor children were yelling with joy at the nerf guns Santa brought them, and I was screaming for world peace, or at least a little quiet. So at least you didn't ruin Christmas. It's a horrible feeling. If I need a good cry, I either watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, or A Walk to Remember. Sobbing and an entire box of tissues are usually involved. If you count it up, it's a lot of tissues in a year. So, you're not alone, sister friend. Just think, next will come the "I'm going to eat chocolate and not feel guilty about it phase." That is my favorite phase.

Amanda said...

What was I thinking???? Knowing this exact mood and understanding the kind of story that would have you weeping at work, I read about Amos anyway. I am a crazy woman. I have been crying for the last 24 hrs about Nathan being 1 and I am in no condition for this kind of story.
I wish he was from Georgia, cause we'd be sening him back on the Midnight Train. I suppose there is probably a midnight train to Mississippi. Just no song, quite yet.

samandholly said...

Also having known Colleen for MANY years, I would agree with Rachel's assessment of nicety and Colleens profession of dubious taste: we've been friends for a long time!

Jeanette said...

Just hearing the movie title "Shadowlands" makes me want to cry. The best crying movie ever! LOVE IT!! I think I will watch it tonight.

Stephanie said...

I love you and I love Colleen. You two make the world a better place.

I wish I could send you some of Ina Garten's brownies - they have more chocolate and butter than flour - and they freeze well for those days where you just don't want to bake brownies, even though they will make you feel better.

I hope you feel better.

I know you will.

Andrea said...

Oh Rachel, I'm so glad to hear that you get as irritated with people as I do. Confession...I have never seen "Shadowlands". I'm guessing I should watch it now because in a few weeks I will be an emotional wreck. And since we're on the PMS subject, I have yet to taste your PMS brownies.

The Katzbox said...

I just saw Cranford for the first time about a week ago. It was wonderful. It's difficult to watch Dame Judy Densch (sp?) and not watch.

It was the episode where she was ready to take the next step with her prior youthful admirer who had gone to Paris and on his return home...well...

She's amazing....

Sorry about your PMS....

Glad you're feeling better...