Hey, remember when I used to be funny? How I used to regularly post on this blog and we'd all laugh and laugh. Boy, those were the days, right? We'll look back on those days with all sorts of nostalgia and sighs and possibly a tear or two. We'll nestle our grandkids on our laps, feed them some hard candy and say, "Why, when I was a child that blog used to be a riot!" and then they'll roll their eyes and scamper off to throw rocks at the neighbor's cat. Yes, my friends, those were the days.
So I lose my funny from time to time. It happens. And when it does I generally just give you list of things that have happened and you can use your imagination as to how the Funnier Rachel would phase them. So here it goes:
1.) I went to see Cyrano de Bergerac last night at a theatre across the street from the Santa Monica airport so every 20 minutes or so a plane would buzz overhead. And this weekend is the Cable air show which goes on just outside my bedroom window and the planes have been practicing all week. Which may account for my dream that I had last night that I was stuck in London during the blitz.
2.) While standing in line last night to pick up our tickets a woman, whose husband was at the ticket window getting theirs came up to me and smiled and said, "Hi! You're fabulous!" To which I said, "Thanks." To which she said, "No really, you're FABULOUS!" Then she turned to her husband who had finished with the ticket window and said, "Paul, come here and meet my fabulous new friend." Paul then came over and shook our hands and said, "Yes, fabulous." Then they both walked away. They both had long grey hair and wore matching leather jackets.
3.) Do you read GOOP? Gwyneth Paltrow's blog? You should be reading it. Because it is the most ridiculous thing on the internet. This week she started her newsletter encouraging us to do a 21 day cleanse. And then she had some of her friends share their New Year's resolutions. Friends like Jay-Z ("Don't eat french fries every day") and Deepak Chopra ("Flow") and Valentino ("Wear a helmet while skiing"). My personal favorite came from some guy named Phillip Otto: "To usher in a new era of global peace, environmental stewardship, and general good vibes through the power of pressed, unpasteurized juice."
4.) My New Year's resolution? To usher in a new era of global peace by learning how to lasso.