Dear Ladies Who Show Dogs at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show,
Floral print wide-legged jumpsuits went out of style in 1993. The world hasn't accepted enormous hair bows or scrunchies since 1989. Tapestry vests, broomstick skirts, the color mauve - all hit their prime 20 years ago. And unless you're 6 feet tall and have knitting needles for legs orthopedic pumps with sheer black stockings and a fitted skirt that hits below the knee is going to make you look like Mrs. Stumpy McStumperson. The deck is already stacked against you - you run around a carpeted ring with a fancy dog - and I know that function is probably your primary goal, but have some dignity. Your on national TV and that whippet you're running along side isn't the only thing people are looking at. I telling you this because I care. Consider it my Valentine's gift to you.
Hugs and Kisses,
Rachel
Floral print wide-legged jumpsuits went out of style in 1993. The world hasn't accepted enormous hair bows or scrunchies since 1989. Tapestry vests, broomstick skirts, the color mauve - all hit their prime 20 years ago. And unless you're 6 feet tall and have knitting needles for legs orthopedic pumps with sheer black stockings and a fitted skirt that hits below the knee is going to make you look like Mrs. Stumpy McStumperson. The deck is already stacked against you - you run around a carpeted ring with a fancy dog - and I know that function is probably your primary goal, but have some dignity. Your on national TV and that whippet you're running along side isn't the only thing people are looking at. I telling you this because I care. Consider it my Valentine's gift to you.
Hugs and Kisses,
Rachel
5 comments:
I think they should hire you. You would not only be a great fashion adviser, but you would also be able to make felt likenesses of their dogs. I think that would be a huge step forward for them.
Amen, sister. I have never understood their clothing decisions. Blech.
Whoa, whoa-back up. What's that about no tapestry vests?
I love you.
Just watched "Best In Show" a few days ago. Any woman over a size 4 should not run in a shiny suit.
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