Last night was rough. I had to fight it out with Verizon for an hour and a half.
Me: Do I need a new modem?
V: You may need a new modem.
Me: So I need a new modem?
Me: Can you just tell me?
V: I'm not saying you do, but you probably do. Let me transfer you to someone who can sell you a new modem.
Me: I hope the marshmallows on your candied yams burn on Thanksgiving.
All of this went on while I was having the Worst Cramps of my Life. They were the full body kind that make you feel like someone took a meat tenderizer to your insides and then put on some brass knuckles and punched you a few times and then said mean things about your hair. They were so painful that about an hour into the phone call I felt like I was about to black out, but then I willed myself to go on because so help me if all that back and forth was for not! It turns out that it was entirely for not as this morning Katie rearranged some of the wiring and ta-da we have internet again.
Which I am grateful for. But I'm still hoping for disastrous yams.
Another thing I am grateful for...Los Angeles, and friends who want to have Adventures there. Me, Katie, Heather and Andrea spent yesterday (before the Verizon/Cramp Summit of '011) cruising the city. Andrea has lived here for several years but has never really seen anything so we took her all over the place. Beverly Hills, the Farmers Market, the Biltmore, we rode Angels Flight (which is the cutest thing you can do in LA. Best 25 cents you will ever spend.), and we capped it off with French dips at Philippe's. I've lived here my whole life and you know how much I love it. It's so much fun to show it off. Maybe I should look into becoming a tour guide. We saw a guy driving down Sunset in a van with no windows and the roof sawed off giving a tour to a family of red-heads. I could totally do that.
And it has to be mentioned: we started the morning off with breakfast at the Avocado House - Home of the Life Altering Cinnamon Swirl French Toast with Caramel Sauce. I would not be surprised if that stuff could cure cancer. At the very least it balanced out a night of cramps and a soul-crushing phone call with my internet provider.