Thursday, April 17, 2014

There must be no slime

I ordered eggs benedict for the first time and it was a revelation.

I've made eggs benedict before to middling success. The hollandaise sauce was good but the poached eggs were a bust. And everything needs to be finish at the same time, which is like rocket science. Have you tried poaching an egg without an egg poacher? Double rocket science with a hint of string theory. Tricky business. And then after doing all that advanced math it still pretty underwhelmed with it.

I've never ordered them before because, if I think about it too much, I get a little squeamish about eggs. I mean, they're gross, right? But they're also delicious. Runny yolks are so good. But also kind of make me want to gag. I'm a mixed bag of emotions here. So I only ever order scrambled eggs when I'm out. Like I'm going to trust some guy at Denny's to get the yolk just right. I need a distinctly over-medium egg because if I see any of that slimy white bit that's attached to the yolk I realize that what I'm actually eating is chicken embryo and I'm done. (Fact, at least twice while writing this I have decided to go off eggs forever, and then have talked myself back.)

But we went to this really adorable place called Clementine and it just felt like the right setting to order eggs benedict. I actually talked myself out of it several times (because there were so many other really great sounding options) but Camille was firm and said I had to. So I did and they were a winner. The hollandaise was tangy and the ham was sliced nice and thin and the egg was poached to perfection. I didn't gag once. In fact, I wanted to lick my plate.

(Side Story:  I got the tale end of a conversation Katie had with our friend Taryn tonight (Thanks for dinner, Taryn.  It was great.) about how I'm a picky eater. Except that I'm not. I actually love most food. And I'll try just anything. It's just that I'm ridiculously opinionated and also a loud mouth. So if I don't like something the world will know. And there's no one on this blog that's like, "Rachel, calm down. Tuna casserole isn't all that bad," to temper all the opinions I'm throwing out. Except, come on guys. Warm canned tuna? Pass the barf bag.)

4 comments:

Stephanie said...

Technically, an egg usually isnt really an embryo (which is a fertilized egg). It's really a chicken's ovulation . . . OK, i admit, not much better . . . doesn't erase the fact that the egg comes out of a chicken's backside. I adore eggs and have decided that they would be the one reason I couldn't be a vegan, but I still can't eat eggs off a buffet. I am different from you that I would rather my Denny's chef cook my eggs over medium rather than risk bad scrambles. I think dry, overcooked scrambled eggs are a true tragedy in the breakfast world. I am alright with omlets, but only I can make perfect scrambles. I feel so vein saying that.

Glad you had a good Benedict experience . . . I can't have them anywhere now because I had the ultimate eggs Benedict experience at the Plaza hotel almost 20 years ago, and I'm not willing to taint that experience with a lesser Benedict.

Tuna casserole is disgusting, but only when you think about it . . , cream of mushroom soup, mayonnaise and hot fish come together with pasta, peas and a cornflake crust? Mmmmm, yum.

Although hollandaise is kind of disgusting when you think of it as warm mayonaise . . . which brings us full circle back to eggs. Which are delicious.

Stephanie said...

Technically, an egg usually isnt really an embryo (which is a fertilized egg). It's really a chicken's ovulation . . . OK, i admit, not much better . . . doesn't erase the fact that the egg comes out of a chicken's backside. I adore eggs and have decided that they would be the one reason I couldn't be a vegan, but I still can't eat eggs off a buffet. I am different from you that I would rather my Denny's chef cook my eggs over medium rather than risk bad scrambles. I think dry, overcooked scrambled eggs are a true tragedy in the breakfast world. I am alright with omlets, but only I can make perfect scrambles. I feel so vein saying that.

Glad you had a good Benedict experience . . . I can't have them anywhere now because I had the ultimate eggs Benedict experience at the Plaza hotel almost 20 years ago, and I'm not willing to taint that experience with a lesser Benedict.

Tuna casserole is disgusting, but only when you think about it . . , cream of mushroom soup, mayonnaise and hot fish come together with pasta, peas and a cornflake crust? Mmmmm, yum.

Although hollandaise is kind of disgusting when you think of it as warm mayonaise . . . which brings us full circle back to eggs. Which are delicious.

sarahgurl said...

I make the most delicious tuna casserole so you can't hate it till you've tried mine

Rach said...

I have never had eggs Benedict, but that's because runny yolk makes me gag. I like nice, firm, well-cooked eggs, and the thought of cutting into a poached egg and having all that yolk go everywhere gives me the heebs. But I love a good omelet. And an egg salad sandwich.