Tuesday, August 5, 2008

His toe is not pregnant

Things I thought of to take my mind off of the fact that I was doing an ultra-sound on a patient's fungusy big toe:

1.) If I were at my old job right now I would be spending the entire day repeating the difference between inter- and intra-district transfers to parents who wouldn't get it even after I brought out the map. This new job is way more awesome.
2.) I know, I'll play geography games. List all the countries in Africa. Egypt, Libya, Tunisia...South Africa.
3.) Still 5 more minutes.
4.) Could this guy's gown be any shorter on him?
5.) I mean, there is short and then there is SHORT. And this is Mr. Shorty McShortster short.
6.) I wish I were better at small talk. I wonder if someone has a book I can borrow on it.
7.) I'll move on to state capitals. Alabama - Montgomery, Alaska - Juneau...Wyoming - Cheyenne.
8.) Knights of Columbus! Is this timer broken?

I guess when the doctor asked if I had a problem touching people she actually meant if I had a problem touching people's toes. Maybe I should have said yes.


Rach said...

Ew. Gross. I'm so sorry that you had to touch feet. There's something really weird about touching other people's feet. And having to touch a guy in a short gown sounds like the nightmare of feet nightmares. What do toes have to do with chiropractics?

Jeanette said...

why was the guy in a short gown if you were xraying his toe?

Sounds like torture - glad you made it through the toe incident.

One time my friend and I were at the movies, when we got there she said do you smell that? I didnt smell anything but she said something was super stinky. The movie began and she had her elbow on her arm rest where it belongs and she said it felt funny. So she pushed down with her elbow trying to investigate what was wrong. She still couldnt figure out what it was so she reached over with her other hand and felt around. It was some guys stinky nasty bare naked foot. My friend is a total germ freak and so when she realized what had just happened - she gasped in horror about giving me a heart attack. She busted out the hand sanitizer and drenched her hands. A few minutes later the guy got up and left. I think the guy was a perv and had some foot fetish! NASTY

Amanda said...

Jeanette, all I have to say is super-yuck. I'm choking back my bagel right now.

I have the same question about the robe and the toe. Why couldn't he just wear his pants?
The first time I went to this chiropractor, the lady asked me to put on a top half gown instead of my shirt. Um...I'm no novice. I've been the the chiropractor millions of times and never had to wear a gown. What's the deal with that? Maybe they thought I'd need x-rays of my toe?

rachelsaysso said...

He was originally in for an adjustment, that's why he was in the gown. And we have all of our patients wear gowns. She's not a quick-adjustment kind of doctor. They're usually in there for 2 hours.

Jeanette said...

sorry to gross you out - hopefully you kept the bagel down.

I was just trying to prove the point that feet are disgusting.

Amanda said...

So, why the gowns? I don't get it? Is my t-shirt getting in the way? I'm actually slightly comforted, because for a minute, I thought they were a little weird and possibly using hidden cameras at my chiropractors. Good to know. I only want a 2 hour chiropractic visit if I'm getting a massage as well. Then, I'll stay all day. Bring it on.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the gowns idea happened at a global chiropractor convention, where they huffed around and got all red-faced because insurance companies didn't count them as real doctors. So, what better way to prove you're a real doctor than make your patients take all their clothes off?

And ditto on the EW. What was wrong with his toe???