Friday, August 29, 2008

I'll tell you this much - there was groping involved

I've been house sitting (surprise) for the Duke these past two weeks. They have a dog that (again, surprise) pees inside the house. It's really not even worth mentioning because this trend of incontinent dogs I watch has catapulted into the ridiculous. I mean, does EVERY dog pee inside the house and I just haven't noticed because I've never been a dog owner? When I lived with Rac and Emma at their family's home and we took care of Jane, their Boston Terrier, she never peed inside. And she was certainly not the brightest of God's creatures. Lovable and gaseous, but not bright.

This is all irrelevant because what I really want to say is that I have essentially been without a phone for two weeks and it's kind of been like Heaven for me. I get zero reception up at the Dukes. I am way beyond having no bars. It seems I can only call out if I'm calling 911. And since I can no longer talk on the phone in my car and most days I work so many hours (roughly about a squillion every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday) that days go by when I'm literally only in my car or at work or at the Dukes, I haven't called anyone in a very long time. And I'm fine with that. You know my anxiety about calling people.

But today -- oh, today -- I want to call everyone because you will never believe what I had to do at work. Never. It is just too crazy -- and, I feel, not exactly for mixed company, which means it is not for this blog. Trust me boys, you would be mortified. But gals, you will laugh and laugh and laugh because, Knights of Columbus!, this is a funny story. It tops ultrasounding that guys toe and the time I had to guess whether the black furry stuff on a woman's back was part of her sweater or a rogue patch of back hair. Please ask me the next time you see me (unless we're in church, I can't do it at church) to tell you what happened. I'm DYING to tell it.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself that I lucked into a job with so many great stories to tell. It's like a dream come true for me.

11 comments:

jessi said...

you should write a book about all those stories...when you're not working there anymore, of course.

Rach said...

Rachel, please please email me this story! Also, I have no idea what the deal is with all these dogs you watch. Yes, Jane was the gassiest dog I've ever seen or smelled, but she knew where her business belonged. Ah, Jane, how we miss you so.

Karina & John said...

You can't do that! please email me as well.

Gloria said...

ok, I feel lead on... All that and no story??? I need to be in the e-mail loop for that story! :)

Tammy said...

we need to have a girls get together at your place, so I can hear this story!

Empress of Venus said...

Ok I'm requesting my name be added to the email list, or the copy-and-paste list.

Liz W. said...

Having heard the story, I have to tell you all to track Rachel down, IMMEDIATELY, and be prepared for one of the greatest tales you will EVER hear!!!

Just thinking of it now is making me laugh and laugh!!

Heather said...

Ok, if you're sending out an email, send it to me too!!! Last time I saw you we were in mixed company, and I NEED to know!

Stephanie said...

I can't track you down. I don't have your phone number or your email. I must hear this story. It's a matter of laugh or death. Pleaaasse. My email is stephaniestempinski at yahoo dot com.

I'll make you some eclairs!

Bronwyn James said...

Can you email me the story? I must hear it! james.bronwynm@gmail.com

Kathy said...

Rachel, I have been reading all your blogs and loving them...you could create a sitcom based on your Doc stories...anyway, I must hear or read this story...my email is obwyzz@gmail.com. You inspire me!
Cousin Kath