Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I'm thankful for bras and razors

We have a few patients who belong to some theatrical commune in LA. They all live together in this big house/theater and put on shows every few months. They're dancers and actors and singers and they grow their own food, and, probably, weed. The head of the group is a woman in a wheel chair who always wears tinted glasses and speaks with a very low raspy voice. She has never shown up to an appointment without Marion, her assistant and Sonny, her poodle.

Sonny (who I secretly believe to be the evil mastermind behind this whole group) and Marion are in today. Marion fell off a stool and injured her back. She thought she was sitting on a piano bench and had room to slide over. She has a "very important dance performance" next week and needs to be fixed up before then. While putting her on the unwinding table I noticed two things: 1.) It was horribly obvious that she never wears a bra because, although she's young and thin, her boobs were sagging down to her naval, and 2.) she has the hairiest legs I've ever seen on a human being, male or female. And I could see, once she had the gown on, that the hair stopped just below her knee, making it look as if she were wearing human hair leg warmers.

And on that note -- HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Enjoy the feast. I have a lot to be thankful for this year, including bras and razors.

7 comments:

Andrea said...

Why is it that you always seem to meet such interesting people wherever you work? The leg hair thing I'm sure was totally disgusting, but very entertaining for your readers. I don't believe I've ever thought of being thankful for bras and razors but after reading this I sure am!

camille said...

well that really makes me hungry for a thanksgiving feast!

camille said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AJ says... said...

you always give such vivid imagary. I am not sure if I appreciate that or not. I thought you were off kissing squishy nephew faces? Why are you working on Max Clinger?

Gina said...

On this Thanksgiving day, I'm grateful for your job. People there always make me laugh. :)

Valerie said...

Here's the thing: I probably never would have been able to articulate this, but now that you've brought this up, I really thankful for bras and razors too.
Sometimes...you just take things for granted.
Thanks for reminding me what's really important.

Stephanie said...

I am not only thankful for bras, I am thankful for underwire. Strong underwire that holds and lifts in the proper proportion. Razors, too. But mostly - underwire.