Friday, April 17, 2009

I didn't brush my teeth. I'm sorry.

Dear World,

I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. And not just once, but twice. I forgot before I went to the gym. And then I forgot before leaving for the day. I am so sorry. I don't know what my problem is.

Well, actually I do. When I leave for the gym it is still the middle of the night. A girl cannot be expected to remember to brush 100% of the time when she should still be in her jim-jams but is instead trying to stay awake long enough to tie her shoes. The ladies at the gym are already accustomed to seeming my puffy, blotchy pillow face and hear my morning-man-voice. I'm sure that they just expect my breath to stink too. So, forgetting to brush my teeth before going to the gym is not such a big deal. And, I'll admit, it has happened before. But I never forget to brush my teeth before going to work. It's part of my routine. And that's where the problem is. I did things out of order this morning. My order is gym, breakfast, shower, scriptures, hair/make-up/brush teeth. But this morning I did gym, shower, scriptures, hair/make-up, breakfast with the intention of brushing my teeth after I ate, only I was late to the breakfast part and had to turn my peanut butter and jam on toast into a toasted peanut butter and jam sandwich and rush out the door. Without brushing my teeth. Drat.

Can we still be friends?

Hugs and Kisses, Rachel

PS. I generally don't talk to people when I'm working out (I would like to call it "intense focus" but really it's just "intense early morning brain not being able to form sentences") but this morning the Cat Woman and I were the only ones in the weight room and we started chatting and it came out that she was an elementary school teacher. Gasp! She always struck me as a Woman of Elegant Leisure. Only a WofEL would own that much leopard print. And now I'm trying to visualize her in the classroom and all I can see are 30 terrified 9 year olds, their eyes fixed on her over-collagened lips and spidery eyelashes and her insta-facelift from her bun being pulled back so tightly as she talks about their upcoming field trip to the San Gabriel Mission.

9 comments:

Britny Hill said...

1. nope. We aren't related anymore.
2. I think you need to pick a different gym!! HaHa

Rach said...

Rachel, the fact that you go to the gym, read your scriptures, and WEAR MAKE-UP every morning before going to work excuses you from brushing your teeth from time to time. I changed out of my pjs about an hour ago (it's past noon) and the last time I wore make-up was at a Mary Kay party. So forgetting your teeth once in a blue moon is totally excusable. Sometimes when I'm brushing my teeth before bed it dawns on me that this is the first time that day. Now everyone is going to think I'm totally gross. I swear I'm hygenic. I'm just stuck indoors with sick kids.

Stephanie said...

There are worse things than not brushing your teeth. Like the time that I forgot to rinse my conditioner out of my hair. I showered, make-uped, brushed teeth and thought I was ready, only to discover how gross my hair gets when it dries and still has conditioner in it. And at that point, with all the make-up and clothes and things I had worked so hard to put on, I didn't want/need to get naked and get back into the shower to mess everything up. I just put my hair in a bun and called it a "treatment."

Whatever we have to do to convince ourselves that we aren't going crazy.

Rachel said...

Steph, I've done the EXACT SAME THING. Clothes and make-up, then I started to blow dry my hair and realized it was a slick mess and I had no time to do anything about it. It was a pony and a head band for me. My scalp felt funny for days.

And I would like to make an addendum here: I went home for lunch with the intention of brushing my teeth before coming back to work. Nope. Still forgot. I am a moron. With dirty teeth.

Amanda said...

When I was working I remember clearly those mornings that breakfast was in hand as you leave the house. I always had a whole tooth brushing dilema. Should I brush right before leaving and then wait to eat til the taste wears off? But by then, your toast is cold or whatever you have in hand. Or brush and eat right away, which makes your breakfast taste weird and also makes me feel like brushing was almost a total waste because I have breakfast all stuck in my teeth.
If it makes you feel any better, I forgot to brush before letting my visiting teachers come over the other day. I even sat close to one of them so our babies could chat. There is a reason I try not to plan any visits before noon. By noon, I for sure have my teeth brushed. I'm going to make a memo for myself about that.

the freshmaker *ting said...

hahaha you made me smile again. i always have breakfast on the go but it is also the norm to brush, floss and rinse there (work)...

Rach said...

For a while in college I kept a toothbrush and toothpaste in my bag. It was because I had to play my flute and the thought of food flying into it grossed me out, but in case this forgetting happens again, there's always the option of keeping a spare on hand in your desk. Or purse. Or just chew gum. Or think about how charming you are and the fact that no one is noticing your breath because you are saying witty and intelligent things.

The Katzbox said...

This is where my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) comes in quite handy. I brush right when I wake up, before I leave my bedroom (the bathroom is connected to the bedroom-it's quite OCD friendly), and brush again after breakfast. I also brush throughout the day. So...it's not that I'm hygienically superior, it's just that I'm that much more mentally ill...and I have the receding gums to prove it. Yea, life is good on this side of the minty fresh tracks.

Dennis said...

Before, I'm so lazy flossing and brushing my teeth. But, I learned my lesson when I got this terrible toothache, I just couldn't get up. My mom took me to the Dentists Germantown TN Clinic, which is just a 15 - min drive to our house and they found out that I have an underlying gum disease. I'm glad we have friendly Dentists (Germantown based) nearby because I'm back on my feet again.

Rachel, thanks for sharing your experience, I enjoy reading your posts. Keep them coming.