Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Pros and Cons

The benefits of being one gal in a two-gal business operation during the holidays are:

1.) No awkward holiday parties where the local high school performing group comes and puts on a show and sings Santa Baby to the highest ranking male administrator. Usually the superintendent. Ew. (Every year at the school district.)

2.) No awkward holiday luncheons at a restaurant you would never pick because the food tastes like 3 day old scrabbled eggs, with people who only seem to be able to talk about 1.) their husbands/ex-husbands/lack of husbands, 2.) their cats, 3.) their hatred of the incoming president. (Last year's party with the Doc.)

3.) No holiday luncheons involving the food being spread out on top of the table where dogs are prepped to be spayed or neutered. This site being chosen because the surgery room needs to remain sterile and the top of the freezer where the euthanized animals are kept before pick-up seems slightly inappropriate. (The one Christmas I worked for the vet.)

4.) No obligatory gift giving to every single person you work with, even those you would never socialize with outside of work so you end up giving them a cheap plastic ornament of Santa on a surf board or a CD sampler of synthesized Christmas music you picked up in the discount bin at the gas station for $1.99.

Drawbacks to being one gal in a two-gal business operation during the holidays are:

1.) No office treats brought in my co-workers or clients/patients.

2.) I can't think of anything else.

I came home last night and Katie was, once again, buried in baked goods. She's been baking since October. Okay, no, that's not true. But definitely since Saturday. She's made fancy flavored olive oils and caramels and brownies and cookies and chocolate covered popcorn and seven-layer bars. And she's been wrapping presents and making up goodie plates and for the last three mornings she's hauled off boxes and bags filled with food. And it has made me slightly nostalgic for those days when you could go into work and know that if you wanted some peppermint bark you could probably find some. At the school district we would freeze most of the treats people would bring us and snack on them clear until spring break.

So there are no Christmas goodies in the office. There's no one to bring them in. I suppose I could bring some in but Chiquita is freaked out about her cholesterol (classic Chiquita quote: "I've been eating like two wild dogs and my blood work came back looking like a funeral program.") so I would be the only one eating them and that's just pathetic.

But, on the flip side, I haven't purchased or made a single obligatory gift and there will be no awkward holiday parties as we will probably just go out for tacos or something and Chiquita has too much class to bring up her ex-husband, her cats or politics when we're trying to enjoy some good Mexican food. I'm considering it a Christmas Miracle.


Rach said...

I want to stop by your office with a plate of goodies so very badly. Or overnight you some. Or something! But you have it right, there. It's nice not to have to worry about all the gift giving to random coworkers. When I was at Germane, I was paid half of what the engineers made, but still felt obligated to buy the 15 buck chocolates for each of them every Christmas. Instead of that new sweater I was eyeing. It must be nice to have such a great boss. I'm glad, after all the insanity, your coworker is normal, but that you get emails from the nutters to keep us entertained. Merry Christmas.

Tammy said...

i envy you, for i had the most awkward christmas party i've ever had this year!

Rach said...

Oh, and gross about the food at the vet's office. Ew.

The Katzbox said...

Chiquita's quote is hysterical!

I think that often times, people's true character comes out at Christmas time...I know, right? "how profound, Deb"'re welcome.

And I cannot BELIEVE that Tammy did NOT elaborate on that awkward Christmas party...

much love to you all...

Bronwyn James said...

I love Chiquita!

Gina said...

You forgot to mention the 3-day old hamburgers brought into the district office, and the old 1/2 bottle of salad dressing. Oh wait...that wasn't for Christmas. It was for every other day of the year. I miss that crowd.

Another thing I miss is living with Katie - baking central. Oh the Christmas wish.

I'm also missing some festivus quotes.

Do you want to come up for Christmas?

Tammy said...

to anyone interested..the work party i went to was about 35 women all around 50 years old asking me to take jello shots,and during an "ice breaker" game describing where they made love with there husband in random locations around town, and showing off there old lady cleavage anytime a picture was taken..ew.. awkward

The Katzbox said...

Tammy, thanks! And ewwwwwwwwww.....

Yeesh, I'm an old lady and that would gross ME out!