Me: Gah! I feel like at any moment all those pallets of potato chips are going to come crashing down on me! How come the only soda you sell in a 2 liter bottle is Coke?! How come you don't have signs on your aisles??! Am I just suppsed to guess where everything is? How come there are no workers around to ask a simple question like where are the other beverages besides Coke?! Why can't I pay for these 8 pizzas with my Costco card?! Are you serious that it's cash only?! Who carries around $90 in cash?! Is that a five gallon vat of mayonnaise? DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY BUY THAT MUCH MAYONNAISE?! Are you in cahoots with Wal-mart? Because I thought that Wal-mart was Satan's store but now I think you may be making a play for that title.
Costco: Are you talking to me, loser?