Saturday, March 24, 2012

Ruby is the new poster diva for Scared Straight

We have had a rash of car break-ins lately.  A few weeks ago Mr. & Mrs. Next Door had their window busted and her purse stolen and this morning Mr. & Mrs. Somewhere on the Other Side had theirs meddled with.  Both times the alarms went off around 6:30am followed by the pitter-patter of hooligan feet.  It is infuriating.

Naturally, I don't keep anything of value in my car.  If someone really wants to take something I suppose they could jimmy the trunk where they will find 1.)  a semi-flat dodge ball, 2.)  a beach chair, 3.) a denim blanket that is literally too heavy to carry long distance, 4.) an emergency bag that holds a ratty pair of sneakers, an even rattier pair of flip-flops, a roll of toilet paper, a flash light with dead batteries, an old fleece pull-over that has camp fire ember holes burned into it and food that is so old it would kill them.

Now, I don't have an alarm on my car but I do have a very serious and effective theft deterrent.

Ruby St. Germaine.  The wee lounge singer and former headliner of my car - now a scorned woman, a possible heroin addict, and practitioner of black magic - living under reduced circumstances in my cup holder.  I guarantee one look through my window into the glazed and sooty face of Ruby would turn any derelict youth from a life of crime.


Rach said...

Is that the same denim blanket you made when we were roomies and you had that enormous pile of old jeans we all contributed to? Because if so, you will never, EVER freeze to death in your car. High five to Ruby. Replacing a car window is pricey and super annoying when someone else did the damage.

Gina said...

You should post a current pic of Ruby. She's had better days for sure.