Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Got a meeting in the ladies room

I went out to dinner last night with Emsy and we were there for five hours. Because we only see each other just a few times a year there is generally a lot of catching up and arm flapping to do, and in the case of last night, recapping entire episodes of "The West Wing".  Five hours with lots of water refills naturally lead to a bathroom break so I excused myself and headed into the loo where I found 1.) a woman having a difficult time breathing, 2.) a man comforting her while on the phone with 911 and 3.) her sister in hysterics. I mean, HYESTERICS. How, exactly does one take care of business under those conditions?  I'll tell you, one does not.  So I put my arm around the wailing sister and lead her over to the sink and away from the gasping woman and tried to calm her down by saying positive and soothing things. Which would have been a noble thing to do if I were not so fixated on the fact that there would be no peeing in my immediate future.  Especially after a whole lot of dreamy EMTs came strutting into the Ladies a minute later.

And now I feel a bit like a jerk for only thinking, "But I really have to peeeeeee!!!!" while the poor woman was fighting for life.*  But, really, I did.  And you would think that during an emergency situation such as this that urge would disappear, but I can testify that it does not.  I am happy to report that the EMTs were not only cute but also efficient and they had her strapped to oxygen and a guerney in under five minutes and we all could rejoice.

*Okay, she was actually standing, which I took to be a very positive sign, and other than not being able to speak and having difficulty getting air into her, she seemed like she would weather the storm.  In fact, she looked and sounded exactly like my old co-worker Sheila when she had severe acid reflux which, in a freak incident, went down her wind pipe, and who, once she had recovered her voice, said, "I'm so embarassed you called 911 because I burped."


Bonnie's World said...

You life is so full of fun and interesting things.. Love your blog.. Hehe

Rach said...

I miss Sheila stories. I hate it when something stops me from taking care of business. Like when I've been holding it for 2 hours because I was in the middle of a major cleaning battle with the toddler that, if interrupted, would fall to pieces, and then as soon as I think I can go, the toddler jumps ahead of me, misses the toilet, and then I have to hold it for another 20 minutes while I wipe off the bathroom floor and toilet. But I think your story takes the cake. Aren't you glad, though, that you weren't peeing when the EMTs came? Because you might have missed seeing them, and I don't know about you, but I feel weird peeing when men can hear.

Andrea said...

Oh man, you are brave. If it were me I would have seen the emergency and freaked out and ran as fast as my legs could carry me, and you better believe I would have ran to the next closest restaurant to use the bathroom! Props to you for taking time to help a stranger in need.

Anonymous said...

You did more than I when I went in there first, which was to plug my ears and hum loudly and then mental judge the hysterical selfish sister. *flap*

Toby Ziegler.

Tessy said...

It also doesn't disappear when you're at a crucial part of a movie in a theatre or when the bathroom is near a room full of people and the walls are paper thin and you have to try and relieve yourself as quiet as possible... all the time failing, of course.