Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Shut it, Amy!

I'M GOING BALD!!! 

I'm sorry to get all screechy on you but this is traumatic.  You know how in Little Women, when Jo comes in with the money for a train ticket for Marmie to be with her wounded husband down south and everyone is wondering how she managed it and then she takes off her hat and they all gasp because she has cut off all of her hair and sold it because she couldn't bear to ask Great Aunt Josephine for the money and Amy laments, "Your one beauty!" This is how I feel about my hair.  I know I complain a lot about its proclivity to look like a tumbleweed and my bangs are a true meanace.  But for the most part it has always been healthy and abundant.  And now it is falling out in clumps!

Okay, the truth is, I still have a lot of hair.  But at the rate it's going I'll have to invest in hats in about a month. Or get a weave.  Fortunately I'm an expert on weaves, thanks to Tyra, who loves giving them to white girls.

I scoured the internet and have come up with some causes:  post-pregnancy (nope), stress (nope), birth control pills (nope), extreme hair care (Have you seen how gray I'm getting?  There's no dye up in here.  And I let it air dry. The most intense thing I do is curl it a bit.)  I am left with either a hormone imbalance or a lack of fat in my diet.  The latter seems like the possible cause.  I have cut out a bunch of fat lately. Meaning I eat more vegatables than peanut butter now, when historically it has always been the other way around. But does this mean my options are either to be fat or bald?  Ugh.

In honor of my last post about Grandpa:  it is nothing but ice cream for dinner until this problem disappears.

6 comments:

Valerie said...

That sounds awful. But, also not awful. Eat cheeseburgers everyday, or at least an avocado for crying out loud.

I have also recently lost a lot of hair (though, not because of the lack of fat in my diet. . . not at all). It's pretty traumatic.

Ugh, that Amy. Like the situation could get any worse.

Heidi Broberg said...

I got some serious bald spots after pregnancy (so mine are hormonal) but it SUCKS! I had a mini-meltdown too and when I told people I was going bald they looked at me like I was crazy, but when I showed them my bald spots they were like (nicely) "Oooh".

Heidi Broberg said...

PS Heard the two best sisters missed out on the "Knodd" lunch date. Wink. Wink.

Rach said...

I feel the same about my hair, and I've lost tons of it after having babies. And I lost a bunch when I started my dieting, too. You could give fish oil a try. This is not one of those overpriced essential oils. It is giant pills you get at Costco that you swallow whole and then your skin and hair look ten times better and you burp fish burps. That's why I take it at night. Or just eat avocados. I do the fish oil because avocados trigger my gag reflex. But Rachel, even if all your hair falls out, you have many other nice features. Also, you may have a fantastic head shape! I bet you do.

thefoxkids said...

I have lost so much hair it is now curly (I always wanted curly hair and would sleep in hot curlers before prom or sorority formal to get it for just an hour or so) but I still have so much hair I can't seem to get any dr to listen to me... its most likely hormonal but hang in there.. as long asyou don't have bald spots you probably fine... I am trying fish oil (for things more than just hair but hoping it will help the hair too)... good luck

Empress of Venus said...

I hope the coconut or almond oil works for you. I had a patch right at the front of my scalp that was very visible, so I rubbed coconut oil on it at night for a couple of weeks and now I don't see it at all.