Sunday, March 16, 2014

The Grip

And now for My Body is Giving Up on Me: Stomach Flu Addition (see also, Random Eye Lid Leprosy addition, and Shingles + Bronchitis addition)

At about 5:30 on Friday morning I sent out a panicked text to the other seminary teachers, "Emergency! I can't stop throwing up!!! Someone take my class!" Because by that point I had been awake for 5 hours doing nothing but convincing myself to throw up and then throwing up and then berating myself for throwing up because I hate it so much. I also had myself nearly convinced that I had contracted malaria from the mosquito bite I got earlier in the week.  I was pretty delirious by that point and I wasn't fully convinced that it wasn't malaria until Friday night and I finally didn't feel like Death wasn't hanging out on my doormat.

I spent all of Friday sleeping it off. And then nibbling on Saltines and sipping Gatorade. And then more sleeping and then more nibbling and sipping but no more vomiting.

Lindsay, who hates throwing up more than I do, asked if it was worse than that time I lost my spleen in Tunisia and it wasn't. There was not crying on the bathroom floor. Nothing could possibly be worse than that. If anything is worse you're all invited to my wake, because I'll be dead. But this was bad enough to be in the running.

I snapped this picture because it struck me that anyone could look at this and guess what was going on. An empty sleeve of Saltines, a stack of books, some water, and remotes.

I barely touched the books (I can't focus when I'm warding off the Grip) but the remotes saw plenty of action. I watched a ton of movies. The new Thor, which seemed like it was made just to be made, Catching Fire, which I hadn't seen, if you can believe it, and liked, and the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, which has Judi Dench AND Maggie Smith so obviously I loved it. I've decided I'm going to be Judi Dench when I grow up. Do you think she wears muumuus around the house?

I'm fit as a fiddle, by the way. Good as new. I've been eating like a regular person who eats and I'm ready to tackle whatever part of my body revolts next. (I'm kidding. Please stop.)

1 comment:

Rach said...

Yucky. I'm so sorry. I'm glad you got some good movies in. I'm making a note to see the Judi Dench movie. Please don't get sick again. When you get sick you do it way too thoroughly. I glad you're better now.