Friday, October 12, 2007

You call this happy?

You all remember that Seinfeld episode where Elaine refuses to participate in all the office parties because there are so many of them, right? I've turned into Elaine* here at work but for a completely different reason. We sound HORRIBLE when we try to sing happy birthday and it makes me not want to go to the party. It's like you have to be tone deaf to work here. I've noticed that when a large group sings Happy Birthday they always start out on different notes but then will eventually find their way to the same key. This does not happen in my office. Everyone chooses their own key and sticks with it to the bitter, bitter end. No amount of Costco cake can sweeten the experience. Plus, I don't even really like cake. It's a lose-lose for me.

This morning we got an e-mail announcing another birthday celebration and I found that I couldn't stomach it today. So I'm sorry Co-Worker for not coming over to wish you well. Maybe you could take that as my present to you. I was one less voice to make your ears bleed.

It was my brother Sam's birthday on Wednesday and even though I called I feel like he needs an Internet shout-out as well. So Happy Birthday Sam! For your birthday present I'm giving up Sunday hamburgers with Mom and Dad so they can come visit you. You're welcome.

*My next step in becoming like Elaine is to come up with a fun dance to do at office parties. Complete with thumb-waving and short kicks.

3 comments:

Laura said...

I say that every office should elect a singer for the birthday parties. And this would preferably be someone who can actually sing. Or...perhaps there could be a mini-audition during job interviews. If you're good, you can be on the Birthday Singing Committee...if not, you are not allowed to sing...ever!

Liz said...

What I've begun to do is hum a starting note. It helps the few who actually can be on tune. As for the rest, heaven helps us...

Empress of Venus said...

Every cubicle on my floor has a cd player in it, it couldn't be hard to download the song (or burn someone awesome singing it) and just play it. It would save a lot of embarassment and promote kindness to animals with sensitive hearing.