Friday, January 2, 2009

One More

I was talking to my bishop a few weeks ago and he asked about my job and wondered if it was a good one and I said, "Well, it's alright. If anything it always keeps me in a steady supply of fantastic stories to tell." He said that he never thought of that as a perk to a job. I had to admit that it's one of the very first things I look for.

One of the saddest aspects of not working for the Doc anymore is the loss of all those wonderful stories. Because, let's be honest here, that was the best part of the job. Every day I came across something fantastic. I pulled on legs and ears and arms and heads and the Doc was a treasure trove of wacky medical remedies. But it's not just me who loses out on them. It's you. And that makes me sad.

But don't despair! Because I have one more.

Some background: The Doc is a borderline diabetic so she would check her blood sugar level every morning and then report it to me and Lisa when she came in. I'm not sure why she would tell us. Maybe it was her way of telling us whether or not it would be okay to shove a Snickers bar into her mouth. On Monday we had the following conversation:

Doc: My blood sugar was 80 this morning. Isn't that wonderful!
Me: Yep.
Doc: I've had apples in my fridge for 6 months that I've been too afraid to eat but I brought one for lunch because I think my body can handle the sugar today.
Me: You've had apples in your fridge for 6 months?
Doc: Yes.
Me: And now you're not afraid to eat them?
Doc: Of course.
Me: After 6 months?
Doc: There's nothing wrong with them. They just get sweeter and a little withered.
Me: ???
Doc: Clearly you weren't raised in a family that cold-stored their fruit.
Me: No, I was not raised to eat old, rotten apples.

Maybe my standard for fruit is too high. Maybe I've been living high on the hog for too long and think it's okay to toss out a 50 cent piece of fruit after oh, a month or so. Was I the crazy one in this conversation or was the Doc? I can't actually use the Doc as a good measure in this because she has also been known to leave cheese out on the counter for 12 hours every single day and I'm pretty sure the bacteria has gone to her head. And I don't like cold apples so I'm not about to test this one out. So if you think it's okay to eat 6 month old apples please let me know.


samandholly said...

Cold apples: In
Old withered apples: Out
Old cold withered apples: Out

Rach said...

Ew ew ew! I like my apples cold, but they get mealy after a week, so why? Why why why? That is so disgusting. I'm sad about the lack of new stories about the Doc, but I'm glad you're not working for someone who eats 6-month-old apples. That's just too much.

Stephanie said...

I like cold apples. I have stored cold apples for about a month or two, but as soon as they start to look like grandma they are in my garbage can.

And, btw, cheese is the ultimate storage food. It can be left out at room temperature indefinitely - or until it starts growing things. We just keep it in the fridge so that it doesn't grow things as fast.

Anonymous said...

well, this is just a hundred percent GROSS, that's all i've got to say!

well, i also have THIS to say - you can come out to Ohio, Rachel, and i can hook you up where i work. i'm a clinical social worker. WHOA, baby - I GOT STORIES!

The Katzbox said...

Doc is a bit over the top eh? Wow...I will definitely need to check back here more often because you see Rachel, I trust your keen ability to observe..or, in Bush-speak, your ability to "observate" people and I don't think you're going to run out of funny stories at all, because the human condition being what it is, you'll be loaded with things to write about...for better or worse...loaded...

Laura said...

I love cold apples - can't really stand to eat them at room temperature. But I agree - after 2-3 weeks, they get mealy and funky. Maybe you can push it to a month if you're despearate - but not 6. That's just wrong.

Valerie said...

No. End. Of. Story.

Valerie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda said...

I cold store my fruit. It's called 'leave it on the tree all winter'. She should come for a visit. I'd let her eat as many as she wanted.