Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The price of staying well groomed

You know how sometimes you run out of things all at once? Things like shampoo and soap and mascara and toilet paper and party favors and laundry detergent and razors? It always happens at the same time, like it's a conspiracy between the shampoo/soap/mascara/toilet paper/party favors/laundry detergent/razor makers of the world. So you head down to Target. You think that you should go to Wal-Mart because it would be cheaper but you can't bring yourself to go back to Wal-Mart after the last time you were there. The time when the lady in line ahead of you left her shopping cart to run and get some Christmas lights that were on sale and the checker refused to let you go ahead of her so you all just had to stand there staring at the checker dust her register while you waited 5 minutes for the lady to come back with the lights, which ended up not being on sale so she threw a fit. No, you can't go back to Wal-Mart. So you head down to Target and you load up your basket and maybe you find a cute pair of brown pants that you've been needing and you possibly got the latest US Weekly. And when they ring you up your grand total was $15,097.42.

It is times like these that you pray your Wealthy Benefactor will get his act together so you can shave your legs without having to put your kidney up on craigslist.

6 comments:

Mr. Hall said...

Whoa, your kidney is up on craigslist? How much are you selling it for? It is always good to have a spare kidney on hand! :)

hi, i'm nancy! said...

LOVE the way you write! (could that be because you write like i do?) :)

Chris said...

Party favors??? ..........oh, "party favors".

Got it.

Rach said...

The description you gave of your last trip to Walmart is the definition of every trip to Walmart for me. And yet, I still find myself there all the time, behind the stupid lady or in front the hacking, coughing old man that keeps touching my baby.

And you're right. Going to Target is an improvement, but a very expensive one. I always walk out with a pair of shoes, and usually forget the items I actually went there to buy.

Andrea said...

This is so true! I'm pretty sure that I had the same shopping list last week and I ended up with a few dvds, a shirt, etc. It's dangerous living across the street from a Target. Oh and I loved the party favor reference.

AJ said...

You are a realist. Your experience is so absolutely right on! WalMart can cause PSTD. And I love that you call them party favors, too!