Tuesday, January 13, 2009

She works hard for her money

A few observations on the new job:

1.) Chiquita is wonderful. She's helpful and patient and she gets the joke. And she loves me. How do I know? Because every time I do something right she says, "Ooooh! I just love you!" Which makes me feel great, but also makes me wonder if she had retarded chimps working here before me because it's not rocket science.

2.) This place is a field of landmines for my allergies. Where the Doc had air filters and a strict fragrance-free policy, Chiquita has stock in the Yankee Candle Company. The pillows on the couch in the breakroom are covered in what looks like white muppet fur and the building is surrounded by eucalyptus trees. The skin around my mouth and nose have been tingling for 2 days.

3.) Speaking of landmines - do not ask Gary the CPA about his ex-wife! It's just me and Chiquita in the business but Gary the CPA rents out one of our offices. He is very much a CPA. I asked him what he does for fun and he said "I work." But Chiquita asked him if his ex was excited about their daughter's upcoming wedding and he said, "Why would I talk to that woman?" And then he went off about how he spent 30 years of his life making her happy and now she has everything and "If you think that I'm ever going to speaking to her after she took my RENTAL PROPERTY...!!!" And then his head exploded.

4.) The break room - minus the muppet pillows - is the nicest I've ever been in. Considering that my previous break room was my desk and the one at the school district was a kitchen with sticky chairs and a fridge that perpetually smelled like sour milk and rotten carrots, my expectations were not high. But Knights of Columbus, this one is like a Fortress of Solitude. There's a new, comfy couch with a foot rest, a tv, a nice table and cushy chairs. And I can shut the door. I have to say that it is very fitting for a Woman of Elegant Leisure forced to work hard for her money.

10 comments:

Wendy said...

Can I get a break room like that at my job (a.k.a.- my house)? It sounds really, really fabulous. Especially the shutting the door part. And to clarify, when you do shut the door, no little children immediately start twisting the knob and throwing their little bodies against it, right? Sounds very nice...

The Katzbox said...

"retarded chimps"...classic...

And I swear...I was NEVER EVER married to Gary, the CPA...EVER!!!...I don't think....

Nicole said...

I'm glad you're liking your job so far. I started mine last week and so far I love it! My break room is decent, but I have my first closed-door office. Farewell to the cubicle (until the renovation of our real building is over this summer) I work with people named Alonda, Keemba, and Mags (from Ireland). We're a fun bunch.

hi, i'm nancy! said...

file this under "anything you can do, i can do better" -

MY break room is my office - complete with mood lighting, a couch (i'm a counselor, afterall), comfy pillows, scented candles,music, well, you get the drift.

i have been known to take a break and never wake up!

Valerie said...

I'm glad things are going well, muppet pillows notwithstanding. My best breakroom with at Dr. Bladh and Boyer's office in Claremont. It was upstairs, and quiet and dusty and warm, and it had a TV, where every day I watched an episode of the People's Court and an episode of Cops.

Gina said...

Um, Valerie...

I thought your best breakroom was at State Farm, home of the sassy Friday. You know, that cozy little room in the back that maybe smelled a little like cigarette smoke and mint, all in the same waft. Gosh I miss that place. :) Rachel, you should remember that place too.

Andrea said...

I think we have a winner with Gary, I feel many more entertaining stories to come. Yay for Rachel having jobs with interesting people! It helps to read your stories while I'm at work to entertain me with my not so interesting co-workers.

Rach said...

Ooh, muppet pillows. They don't have break rooms at Taco Bell. But I did get to have "lunch break" in my boss's office when he was in town and run a calendar meeting. Yeah, that was my lunch break. The upside was that he bought us lunch. The downside was that at the time I was doing the Body for Life diet, and sat and watched everyone eat food from Costa Vida and drank my gross protein shake. Good luck with Gary the CPA. Sounds like a really sunshiney person.

Rach said...

I forgot to say, those calendar meetings were not when I worked at Taco Bell. They were at the engineering firm. I learned most of what I know about defensive football plays from those meetings. The rest I learned from the old fogies sitting by us at games as kids.

Stephanie said...

I'm glad you like your new job. You deserve all good things, including a loving attentive associate, a clean fridge and a funny rental guy.