Wednesday, June 10, 2009

"You mean my prison record is going to stop me from getting this job?"

Chiquita is out of the office for the rest of the week. Her daughter is graduating from high school, and then is leaving for basic training with the Air Force. Chiquita is making her go. Every day for 2 months she has been coming into the office saying, "I can't wait for that girl to be the military's problem." It's not that she's bad, she's just dumb. Like most 18 year old girls.

Chiquita being gone isn't a problem, except that I am now the only one here to answer phones. Which also isn't a problem, except that we just placed an ad for a dental assistant in one of the local newspapers and EVERYONE ON THE PLANET IS CALLING FOR IT. Including people who have never even stepped foot in a dental office. I like to imagine that their thought process goes something like, "Well, I have teeth. And sometimes I put my fingers in my mouth. That's what a dental assistant does, right?" It's been a joy talking to some of these people.

Here is just a sampling of what I've heard:

"How many years have you been a dental assistant?"
"I've only been a forklift driver, but I've done that for 5 years."

"Are you a certified or registered DA?"
"What does that mean?"

"The client requires you to pass a credit check."
"Well, I filed for bankruptcy a few years ago. Is that going to be a problem?"

"This job is at the corrections facility. Would you have a problem working with inmates?"
"My husband was in prison, so no."

"Any misdemeanors, felonies or DUIs?"
"I've been arrested a few times, but who hasn't?"


The Katzbox said...

Oh my gosh..."I have teeth in my mouth....."....HYSTERICAL......

Really Rachel, I hope you win 1st place...a true 1st place....with a huge gap between you and 2nd place....

I wish you could sell or rent space in your head for a few hours a day. I would totally buy in....please work on some advertising, cause that would be funny as well.....

Rach said...

I love your job. It's always good when you have a job that puts you in the path of crazy people, because it makes for funny stories.

Lindsey said...

Okay... you don't know me, but I happened on your blog from the funniest blog contest and I love it. You remind me a lot of myself... and I can tell we share the same religion, so I feel ulta-connected now. Good gravy. You're a funny one. Sorry I'm stalgging (stalk-blog) you. Please don't be creeped out.