Friday, June 26, 2009

Miracle Cures

We all have our own medical remedies. Things we swear by when the ague hits. Like, for instance, I firmly believe in the medicinal powers of 7-Up. I get this from my Grandma Knecht. She swore by it. So much so that once when Gina fell out of a moving car (this was before the days of mandatory seat belts and, apparently, car doors that stayed shut) she rushed over with a 2-liter bottle of it.*

And how can we forget the beloved Doc, who, among other things, told me to put raw bacon on my chest when I had a cough and to take 21 allergy pills a day when I had the sniffles. She was a gem.

Well, I have discovered Chiquita's miracle cure. I have a bit of a cold but I came into work yesterday because it's not that bad and Chiquita has a little cold as well, but by about 3pm I was fading and she could see this and told me to go home. (This was about 30 minutes after she got a phone call from her son saying that Michael Jackson was dead but it was before any official announcement was made and she yelled out of her office, "Rachel! We're going to stop what we're doing and get to the bottom of this rumor!") As I was cleaning my desk up for the night she came out of her office with an aerosol can of what I assumed was Lysol and said, "I'm going to take care of these germs so we don't keep getting sick," and then she went to town. By the time I made it to the door the office was socked in. I could make out through the haze that Chiquita had placed the can on the bookcase. So this morning I walked by it and noticed that it wasn't Lysol. It was a can of Glade Jasmine and White Rose Air Freshener. I thought about telling her that unless the stuff killed germs by asphyxiation, it wasn't going to be that productive. But it tickles me so much that she does it that I think I'm going to keep quiet.

*This happened maybe 30 years ago and some of my siblings weren't even born yet but the story is LEGEND. Mostly because along with the 7-Up she also brought a hand mirror for Gina to check out the wounds on her face. This cracks my family up. Anytime anyone is injured someone will inevitably say, "Would you like me to get you some 7-Up and a mirror?" And then we laugh like loons.

12 comments:

Gina said...

7-up is the miracle drug. And, a nice hand mirror is always nice too.

Taryn said...

Kyle too fell out of a moving vehicle when he was a little boy! It's nice to hear that there are more of you out there!

Heath said...

I love miracle cures! ...It's funny to think of some of the stuff that "works." haha.

Also--what happened to all your votes for the funniest blog? I just voted again and it's really low.

The Katzbox said...

Gosh. I love passive-aggressive comments. And by love, I mean stunned.

Valerie said...

Statement of Fact: I've actually heard the story of Gina falling out of the car.
When I read it just now, I thought vaguely to myself, "oh yeah, that's right, I've heard that", like it was the plot of Rumpelstiltskin.
And that my friend, is what you call a Legend, bordering on Knecht family mythology.
p.s. isn't it fantastic that our parents are on vacation together? even more fantastic that they are in south Dakota?

Rach said...

I am a huge fan of crazy remedies. When we were in Italy, Emma got the mumps, and the old ladies in the village told my mom to cut an onion in half and stick it on her ears and it would clear right up. We always got 7-up when we had the stomach flu, but never for injuries. I will give it a try next time Jacob runs into something with his head.

Stephanie said...

When I was in the Primary, an amazing nursery leader came up with the "kleenex cure" every time a kid got injured, emotionally or physically. She would just hand the kid a kleenex and say "oh, poor thing, this kleenex will help" and by goodness, it did.

There was never a kid that looked at her like she was crazy, they just took the kleenex and thanked her for her knowledge and power.

Casey said...

You know, when I had my foot surgery, Gina asked if there was anything she could do for me. I said, jokingly, that I wanted some 7-Up and a mirror. So she brought them to me! Miracle cure. I credit my speedy recovery and lack of post-surgical episodes to it.

Wendy said...

Foreign countries are treasure troves of miracle cures. One of my good friends from my mission happened to suffer from pretty bad acne as a missionary and received a lot of unsolicited testimonials about what would work. One of the most interesting, although still untested, cures suggested was that she wash her face with the urine of a young boy.

Amanda said...

1st: Rachel, thank you! I needed a good laugh.
2nd: I've fallen out of a car twice. That's just what happens when you have an older brother. What's Gina's excuse?
3rd: You might want to check with the beloved Doc about possible healing elements to Jasmine and Rose before you go poo-pooing the air freshener. Who knows? Might be more effective than bacon.

Kelly said...

Funny story! I found your blog through a comment on Caka's blog today.

I once fell out of my Dad's car while it was in motion. I think it was traumatic because I still recall what socks I was wearing at the time.

Too bad we had no 7-up handy!

the freshmaker *ting said...

I find it hilarious that there are so many people who have or know someone who has fallen out of a moving car...you can tack me also on to that list, we had a legend in our family too; before the whole seatbelt law was in place...not that i didn't think it was a good law before. but boy, i guess this was more common than i thought.
jfyi: i have been hit by moving vehicle as a pedestrian twice! stupid big trucks and people who can't drive their big trucks...