Tuesday, March 23, 2010


To further prove that I am, in fact, 80 I will continue chronically my medical ailments and tell you that now both ears are clogged. Rendering me useless in the hearing department. Everything sounds like it's underwater. This has caused a few problems because I can't tell how loud I'm talking. In my head it sounds like I'm speaking through a megaphone but apparently I'm whispering because at both the bank and the drug store I was asked several times to repeat myself. My eyes have stopped oozing but they're a little swollen still. I have some pretty impressive bags under my eye. Basically, what I'm say is, I am checking myself into the Home for the Sad and Tragic until all of this clears up.

Let's change the subject.

My grandpa is turning 89 next week and we're having a big party, complete with a hayride and pin the tail on the donkey. We're also having a joke-off. Grandpa is the master at telling corny jokes. He loves going through the Readers Digest and joke books and finding the best ones that he'll use for months afterwards. And he giggles like a little kid after he tells you the punchline. It makes it worth hearing a joke for the 10th time. We're having a joke-off where we all have to share a corny joke and Grandpa will judge which is the best one. So, if you have one, please share so I have a good arsenal.


Kelly said...

What did one wall say to the other wall?

I'll meet you at the corner!

What did the carpet say to the floor?

I got you covered!

I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.
I wanted to be a baker but I couldn't raise the dough.

Thanks for letting me get those off my chest!

Rach said...

Oh, if only Tim's dad could be at the joke-off. He has quite the aresenal of corny jokes. I just can't think of any of them right now. The only one I can think of is completely inappropriate, so I won't leave it here. That sounds like a fun party. As are all your family get-togethers!

Stacy said...

what do you call an Amish man whose hand is in a horse's mouth?

A mechanic.

I heard that one from grandpa a long time ago. I'm sure you could use it, he's probably forgotten it by now. :)

Gina said...

Dang! The more I hear about the party, the sadder I am to be absent from it.

Here's my joke: Knock, knock. Who's there? The little old man who's too short to read the doorbell.

thefoxkids said...

I wish I had corny joke to add! have fun.. and BTW I think I caught your cold from your blog ha! hope your feeling better.. and have FUN at the party!

Laura said...

A mushroom walked in to a bar and the bartender says "sorry, we don't serve your kind here". The mushroom replies, "why not...I'm a fungi"!

The Other Mary said...

Not quite PC, but here it goes:

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice?

Polaroids!!! (This is especially funny to the older crowd...and me, apparently)

I got that from theoatmeal.com