Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I'm ready for my close-up

The management switched out our old bathroom lights for new energy efficient lights.  Which is all well and good for the environment but is a tragedy for my self esteem.  You cannot imagine how harsh these lights are.  I feel like I'm being interrogated for espionage (I wish!)  The pores on my face are casting shadows. This zit on my cheek looks like the Mt. Everest of blemishes. My nose is twice it's normal size. I suppose it will come in handy when I'm plucking my eyebrows but I'm afraid I'm going to show up to work tomorrow looking like Norma Desmond because who knows how my make-up will look in this light.

Dear Flo, please bring back the dim energy-sucking lights!  I'm sure you're 90 year old face would agree with me.  Hugs and Kisses, Rachel.


Valerie said...

When our landlord, Jerry, re-did our bathroom, a new light fixture replaced our dated, but flattering one. It was a row of round bulbs, like I was getting ready for a rockette's show, and they were all, like, 100 watt. It was bright enough to perform surgery. I unscrewed one for the short time, and then replaced the bulbs for 60 watt, which, when you have four of them, is still plenty.

re: energy efficient bulbs. I see it as a trade-off. I walk to the grocery store and the post office, and I get to use the old light bulbs, the one that make my bathroom feel candlelit.

Think trade-off, Rachel.

Anonymous said...

I look best in candlelight when you're a long way off and squinting.