Monday, September 30, 2013

The Personal Sauna

The answer to yesterday's quiz, because you'll never get it.  It's an impossible quiz.  I'm like that really horrible teacher you hated in high school.
L = Lou = Dad (an old high school nick name)
B = B = Lindsay (we don't remember why)
M = McNelch = Camille (someone once called her this and said, "See what I did there?  I put a Mc in front of your last name." "My last name is Knecht" "Oh, I thought it was pronounced Nelch.")(for those who don't know, it sounds like connect. Like connect-the-dots, which all of us have been called many, many, many times before.)
H = Hubert = Me (who knows? Not any of us. Only my dad calls me this and he can't remember.)
I had a very LA day on Friday. It included the LA County Fair, a Dodger game, and 2.5 hours of traffic in between. 1.75 of those hours were spent on a 3 mile stretch leading into the stadium.  We finally made it to our seats by the bottom of the 5th.  The score was already 10-0. Go Dodgers!
At the fair Lindsay and I tried out a revolutionary new device.  The Personal Sauna:
I wish I had a picture of the inside because what it actually looks like is a Personal Outhouse, complete with a little hole in the seat.  It's for the steam to come out but you don't know that when you're first looking at it.  Naturally, we had to try it out.  And that baby heats up!  A lot.  But according to the picture behind Lindsay you can still work on your spreadsheets while your southern region is melting away.  And it can be yours for the low, low price of $1800.  Or just $80 a month.  They'll even deliver it to you and set it up wherever you want it. Bargain.
Also, I'm pretty sure we saw Gene Simmons.  Or someone who looked freakishly like him, which I imagine is not easy to do.  I mean, even without the Kiss make-up, Gene Simmons looks very distinct. When this guy passed by both Lindsay and I looked at each other and said, "Is that...?" Because holy twins! And this was before the sauna melt down so our brains were still pretty alert.
And guess what's back:
The Big Formerly Yellow Now Blue Slide!!!! It hasn't been at the fair for a couple of years but now it's built into the hill as a permanent fixture.  It's not as fast, which means you don't catch air and tumble off your burlap sack and smash into the slide and get plastic burns down your arms like you used to in the Golden Years, but it's still a whole lot of fun. Hip hip hooray!


Gina said...

I think you're in your prime on this post. Very hilarious and excellent reporting. Also, if you'd like the evolution of "B", I'm happy to offer it to you. But it's not as funny as just having people try to figure it out. p.s. Levi is singing in his crib right now. Maybe it's to you.

Laura said...

Oh, how I wish we'd known about the slide when we went to the fair!! I'm so sad...but just one more thing to look forward to for next year!!

Heather said...

I totally did the slide in your honor this year! It wasn't the LA county fair, but it was big and yellow, so I figure it counts. Thanks for being amazing.

Rach said...

Thank you so much for the laugh. If I'm having a bad day, all I have to do is picture Lindsay in the bum sauna and my day will get better immediately. Also, I'm calling you Hubert from here on out.

Rach said...

Ooh, and I have been a few feet away from Gene Simmons and the rest of Kiss without their makeup on. It was kind of disappointing after seeing them in their get-up. A bunch of hairy middle aged men in leather pants. But Gene Simmons is for sure unmistakable. Tongue in or out.