Monday, April 27, 2015

Just Put Them In Your Pocket!

Did you know that approximately 44,000 cars were stolen last year because people left the keys in them. And it's assumed that the number could be higher because those are just the reported ones. Think of the people who were all, "I don't know officer, my car was just gone," knowing all along that they were the dummies who practically handed the criminals the keys. Who in the world leaves their keys in the car?! If you take the 44,000 reported, plus the number not reported, plus all the people who leave their keys in the car and nothing happens, that's a lot of people who are doing things out in the world like voting for elected officials. The same people who leave their keys in the car are going to be voting for the president next year. Even if we chalked up half of those reported as just sheer spaciness - who hasn't locked their keys in the car? I've done it two days in a row - that's still a minimum of 22,000 who choose to do it and think, "Well, I'll just get them later." I blame skinny jeans. They're so tight and people can't fit keys in the pockets so they just opt to leave them in the car.

While we're on the topic, let's talk about this rather aggressive campaign that's going on around here to educate people on what to do when they see a downed wire. Now, common sense would tell you to back up off of that thing, right? But clearly there have been so many people who have actually grabbed one that all over the Los Angeles area, and on her airwaves, there are messages warning people to stay away from it and call 911. First I'm wondering how often this happens. I don't know that I've ever seen a downed wire, and I'm as old as dirt. Second, do people just think that those wires are there merely to hold flocks of starlings? Like they don't have a gajillion volts of electricity running through them? How many people had to grab one before someone at the Downed Wire Association said, "Well, I guess we're going to have to put up signs on every other block because these dimwits keep touching them." Can we blame skinny jeans for this one too? A lack of oxygen to the brain, perhaps?


Camille said...

"I blame skinny jeans." You win!
Also, I don't want to point the finger at anyone who leaves their keys in their car but someone who reads your blog with the initials SWA may be among that group. Are you reading this?

Rach said...

People really do that? On purpose? Are they planning on making a quick getaway because ninjas chase them regularly? Because that's the only good reason I can see for leaving your keys in your car. Have they never heard of a purse? Or a man bag? (Skinny jeans on men are an even bigger travesty than on women.) And also, grabbing power lines? For real? Your explanation has to be right. It's the skinny jeans for sure.

Tessy said...

I've only ever done that once and completely a blonde moment. I was SO relieved when I came out of the shops and the car was still there with the keys still in it. Guess our car wasn't worthy to be stolen!